Wednesday, February 29, 2012

An Apology: Video of the Year! You Must Watch!

Kira Davis gets my vote for Secretary of State or Ambassador to the United Nations!  You can check out her wonderful blog at:

Thank you so much to our friend Kenny Solomon at for bringing this fantastic video to our attention!

Please have your friends and followers check this video out.

Bonus Material:
The pic below is NOT a fake or put up.  A friend of Mrs. Sahib was filling up this evening and saw this note taped to the gas pump.

We encourage everyone to make similar notes and leave them as educational material for the uninformed.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

If You Want a Palestine, How About Hispanstine?

"Official" Flag of Hispanstine
This weekend I had a lively discussion with a former state department employee who spent 21 years in garden spots like Iraq, Egypt, and Yemen.  His view of our role and status in the world was unsurprising, yet discouraging.

After discussing Iraq, Afghanistan, and Iran (He believes the Iranians are bluffing and really don't want war with Israel.) our conversation turned to the Israeli/Palestinian conflict.

Sitting in that converted warehouse watching kids play indoor soccer, the heavens opened up and I had an epiphany.  I have been wrong my entire adult life.  Yes devoted readers, your beloved Sahib has been WRONG.

My previous post about a "Palestinian State?  Just Say No" was misguided and hateful.  It makes no difference that there has never in the history of the world been a Palestine.  Who cares if the British Mandate in Palestine was divided 75% the for Arabs living in that region and 25% for the Jews with the 75% being called Trans-Jordan?  The Palestinian people shouldn't have to move one foot away from where their ancestors lived.  It is irrelevant that genetic analysis suggests that the Palestinians are descendants of Christians and Jews from Southern Levant and that it was not until the Muslim conquests of the 7th century that they "willingly" converted to Islam.  They believe they are a unique and individual people and they deserve their own country exactly where their ancestors lived.  That a large portion of them were nomadic is of no consequence.

My conversion led to another epiphany (I was very epiphanated this weekend).  There is another group of disenfranchised people living much closer to us.  They too deserve.... nay, are ordained by divine right to have their own nation.  I of course are referring to the Hispantinian people.

Today, I start my campaign to begin the annexation of the US states of New Mexico and California for the creation of the new nation of Hispanstine.  I will be submitting my proposal to the United Nations this week. I propose Los Angeles as the capitol.  I mean really... if the Jews shouldn't mind sharing Jerusalem, Hollywood shouldn't mind sharing Los Angeles.  I will also be submitting an application for official refugee status for all Hispanic people living anywhere in the world who can prove (or at least pinkie-swear they are telling the truth) that some relative, at some time, in the past, lived in what is now known as the southern United States.

The United States will be encouraged/pressured/threatened/blackmailed into providing material, medical, and financial support.  Hispantinians will be allowed to work in the United States without interference from the US government.  Allowances will be made for any slight indiscretions made by the Hispantinian people such as rocket attacks, mortar attacks, or suicide bombers perpetrated against their former/current oppressors.

SACSTW followers!  Join me in supporting the brand new nation of Hispanstine, kindred spirits to their brothers and sisters across the world in Palestine!

Please excuse me... *sob*.... just a little emotionally overwhelmed...

Monday, February 27, 2012

Monday Musings With The Crew

  • Let's start this week's fun with my nomination for Sahib's weekly Hollywood HOs award.  I am a firm believer in the value of charitable giving, and equally sure that folks must be very careful in choosing what charities to support.  Here's hoping no SACSTW reader donated to the Kanye West Foundation before it closed its doors in 2011.  Recent reports indicate that in 2010, the Kanye West Foundation spent $572,383, with exactly $0 going to any discernible charitable project.  They did do better in 2009, spending a total of $553,826 and a whopping $583 of that actually went to charity.  So, over its final 2 years of existence the Kanye West Foundation spent well over 1.1 million dollars, with less than $600 going to charity.  Reports filed by the foundation indicate that funds went towards salaries and "overhead expenses".   Hellooooo IRS.....don't those numbers kind of pique your interest?  Hey Kanye, Wesley Snipes just called.  He said you can have the top bunk.

Kanye's favorite charity is ....Kanye!

 By the way, those readers looking for a reputable recipient for their charity dollars should consider The Rotary Foundation, learn more about it here

  • More news from the Save Our Sperm department....Georgia state legislator Yasmin Neal (D) has introduced a bill that would ban vasectomies in the state because "thousands of children are deprived of birth in this state every year because of the lack of state regulation over vasectomies".  Ms. Neal is of course trying to make a point here, comparing the lack of political uproar over vasectomies with the abortion issue.  While it is true that the "stop vasectomies now" crowd is somewhat ephemeral, it's really apples and oranges. Or rather, gametes and embryos.  A more accurate comparison would be vasectomy (men) and tubal ligation (women).  Besides, if we are going to ban vasectomy because it deprives children of birth, we are also going to have to get rid of Playboy magazine, Vaseline Intensive Care, and tube socks.  

  • As reported by our friends at BlazingCatFur, Jessie Sansone was surprised to see several squad cars at his 4 year old daughter's school in Kitchener, ON when he arrived last Wednesday to pick her up.  He was even more surprised to discover the cops were waiting for him.  He was arrested, handcuffed, and taken to the police station where he was charged with possession of a firearm.  While he was there being strip-searched, police officers went to his home.  They brought his wife to the station, while taking his other children into Child Services to be interviewed.  They searched his home.  What triggered this arrest and investigation?  The 4 year old daughter had DRAWN A PICTURE of her father holding a gun, saying it was "that's my daddy, he uses it to shoot bad guys and monsters".  During the search of the Sansone home, police found the weapon the young girl had drawn.  It was a plastic toy gun that shoots foam darts.  Police Inspector Kevin Thaler attempted to justify this outrage by saying the police received a report from the school that "a firearm was in a residence, and children had access to it.  We had every concern, based on this information, that children were in danger". 
         Well Inspector Thaler, based on the information in this report, I have every concern that you are 
         a  moron and a disgrace to the badge.  Hoplophobia is alive and well in Kitchener, Ontario.

  • In the spirit of last night's Academy Awards, I will end this week's Musings with a little self-congratulation.  Over the weekend, SACSTW surpassed the 10,000 view mark, and is now read in 68 countries worldwide.  Thanks to all of you who continue to visit SACSTW, please spread the word about us to your friends.  Like us on Facebook, and feel free to join the discussion in the comment section!  Sahib and I appreciate every one who visits, and plan on entertaining and informing you for a long time to come!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Hollywood HOs: Rihanna and Chris Brown

Hollywood HOs

Following in the footsteps of shining examples Whitney and Bobby, Rihanna and Chris Brown (what is it with singers with the last name of brown?) are this week's Hollywood HOs winners.  Apparently, getting your face bashed in inspires you to hook up and work with the basher.  Not only are they supposedly back together on the sly (his current girlfriend is Karrueche Tran), but they have collaborated on a new song, "Birthday Cake (Remix)".  It's a charming little ditty with lyrics that would embarrass a sailor on shore leave.  I will not quote them, but you can find them here.  If you have forgotten what the gentleman caller did to his lovely lady, the pictures below can remind you.

                                 He did this....                                    To her...

Sources close to Rihanna and Chris Brown report that their next collaboration will be titled, "Battered Women (They Just Don't Listen!)".  No one but God knows the hearts of men.  Maybe Chris has changed his ways, but I have a bad feeling that this will not end well.

On a lighter note, we have a new Friday feature...  

News of the Funny and Bizarre:
Stories on the web that made me cringe or laugh this week.  With all the crap going on in the world, I hope this lightens you load just a little.

Isn't this just a normal weekend at Michael Moore's place?
This from the home of the Swedish Bikini Team?
                Bad                                 Good?

Another candidate from Chicago?

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Question No Liberal Will Answer: How Much?

After a particularly invigorating evisceration of a liberal in the comment section of a news article, I was motivated to write this post.  The article was in today's Kansas City Star and was titled, "Families Tackle Food Stamp Challenge. Eating on $4.50 a Day".  My problem with the articled was that it was incredibly misleading as to the actual level of assistance received by food stamp recipients.  The actual amount is $4.50 per day per person.  For a family of six, that is $756.00 a month.  We don't spend half that monthly in my family and we do not qualify for free school lunches like all food stamp recipients would.

After bashing him about the head and shoulders for a round or two of comments, I cut to the chase and asked him:


How much of what I make should the government "allow" me to keep?  GIVE ME A NUMBER.  What percentage of what I earn should I be "allowed" to keep?

He accused me of changing the topic, so I answered all his questions and asked mine again.  He responded with: 
"I don't know what I think you should be 'allowed to keep'.  I'm not an economist, but I do know for a fact that of all the money you pay in taxes most of it doesn't pay for food stamps."
And there you have it devoted readers, the typical non-answer I get from liberals every time I ask that question and I've asked it dozens of times.  The next specific number I get will be the first.

You might ask, "But why of why will they not answer your question Sahib?  You are so soft-spoken and kind!"  Here it is.... The big liberal secret..... A liberal will NEVER.. EVER...  give you a number or percentage of your earnings you should be "allowed" to keep because....

They want to maintain the ability to always TAKE MORE.

That's their big secret.  Spread the word.  And if any of you reading are liberals, please feel free to shoot me a number.  There's always a first time for everything.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Obama Apology Tour Gets New Life In Afghanistan

OK, that's enough!  Enough with the bowing and scraping, the melodramatic apologies, and for crying out loud enough with the rubber bullets!  Of course I am talking about Afghanistan, where the U.S. Embassy in Kabul is under lockdown this morning, and the military base at Bagram is surrounded by "thousands" of protesters. 

 By now you have heard that the Afghans are protesting the burning of copies of the Quran at the base.  What you might not have heard is why the holy books were removed from the base in the first place.  A military official has told the AP that the books were being used by prisoners to communicate extremist messages to one another.  Prisoners were inscribing hate-filled messages of Islamic violence in the books, as well as hiding notes in them.

Muslims will have you believe that Islam is "the religion of peace", and the Quran is nothing but rainbows, lollipops, and puppy dogs.  If you have read the Quran you know differently, but hey, let's use their own argument.  Isn't it fair to say the Muslim prisoners at Bagram desecrated those copies of the Quran by filling them with messages of hate and violence?  Military authorities removed the books from the prison to prevent them from being used to advance a violent Islamist agenda.  Maybe they shouldn't have burned them, perhaps just chucking them in a dumpster would have been more appropriate.  

Protesters outside the base are attacking it with rocks, slingshots, and middle fingers.  There has been some gunfire, but in the fine tradition of Muslim whackitrons everywhere, most of the shots have been fired mindlessly into the air.  The U.S. military has struck back at the protesters with rubber bullets and profuse apologies.  I would prefer maybe water cannon promptly followed by good old fashioned American lead.  

Not only are Afghans pelting our servicemen with rocks, I found this photo of one actually attempting to ingest an American woman......

All jokes aside, it's really just another sad chapter in Barack Obama's story of subjugating the United States to Muslim ideology at every turn.  What a disgrace this administration has become.  

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Is Obama an Idiot? (about Iran)

I've decided that my oldest son, Sahib Jr., should be the Secretary of State.  Being as he is only 12, we could have potential child labor issues, but he definitely would cut through the crap.  He asked me the other day, "Dad, what's all this stuff about Iran and atomic bombs?"  He did a National History Day project on the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and is interested in the topic.  I outlined the situation and asked his opinion.  He replied, "They're stalling."  I asked him to explain.  He said, "It's like in wrestling when I'm up big on a stronger kid late in the match.  As long as I don't do something dumb and get pinned, I'm gonna win.  So I stall.  That's what they are doing."

And there you have it devoted readers... wisdom from the mouths of babes.  (Please no one tell him I referred to him as a "babe"!)  The question I have is that if a 12 year old (albeit geopolitically brilliant one like his old man) can figure it out, why can't the president backed by the "genius" of the State Department?  I know you lefties out there have changed your mantra of  "Give Peace a Chance!" from the '60s to "Give Sanctions a Chance!" today.  Just one question:  When have sanctions worked?  EVER? Hmmmmmmmmm?

Which can only leave us with one of two conclusions:

  1. The President and his advisers are idiots.
  2. They have some reason to help Iran stall an attack from Israel until they have a working atomic bomb.
Either of these possibilities scares the peewaden out of me.  Here's to hoping the following video is an analogy for what Israel is about to do to Iran.  The big kid (Israel) restrains himself for fear of getting in trouble with the teachers (US, Europe, Russia, et. al.).  The little a**hole kid (Iran) keeps picking on the big kid (Israel) "knowing" he won't fight back.  Enjoy viewing the results.

Hopefully the "cut the crap" wisdom of kids will trump the politically correct stupidity of adults.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Monday Musings With The Crew

  • If you follow sports at all, you have seen the story of Jeremy Lin.  The Asian-American point guard sensation came from nowhere to lead the New York Knicks to a 7 game winning streak.  The streak came to an end in a home loss to the New Orleans Hornets Friday night, in part due to Lin's 9 turnovers.  Here is a screen shot from after the game:

That's right, ESPN's headline after the loss by the Knicks was "Chink in The Armor".  Very nice.  ESPN has fired the employee responsible for the headline, as well as suspending on-air commentator Max Bretos, who used the same phrase in a discussion of Lin.  

  • Time to give credit where credit is due.  Supermodel Cindy Crawford has decided to end her 10 year old daughter's budding modeling career, saying "at this point she's too young to pursue a career...".  Kaia Crawford's Versace ad did generate some criticism, including in a recent Monday Musings.  Not only are Cindy's parenting instincts on target, her political ones are as well.  After supporting Barack Obama in 2008, Crawford has gone on record as having switched party affiliations to the GOP and has endorsed Mitt Romney in the Republican primary.  
  • Not to be outdone by Ms. Crawford.....Sir Paul McCartney revealed in a recent Rolling Stone interview that he has given up smoking pot at age 69 in order to be a better example for his 8 year old daughter.  McCartney is quoted as saying "When you're bringing up a youngster, your sense of responsibility does kick in, if you're lucky, at some point"  Gee Paul, ya think?  
  • Interesting political tidbit from Germany last week.  German President Christian Wulff resigned on Friday, after being embroiled in a series of scandals.  Included in those were charges that Wulff's frequent holidays were paid for by businessmen, that he had received favorable loans because of his position, and that he had criticized media outlets that were reporting on his actions.  Hmmm, does that sound familiar to anybody else?  
    • Lavish vacations paid for by others.....check
    • Favorable loan terms unavailable to others.....check
    • Attacking media that criticizes his actions....check
               Oh yeah, now I remember.....this guy does that kind of stuff all the time

  • New Jersey Governor Chris Christie ordered flags throughout the state flown at half-staff this weekend during Whitney Houston's funeral service.  There are many things I love about Chris Christie.  This was not one of them.  In a related story, a cocaine addict was found dead from overdose in a Newark alleyway over the weekend.  The B-2 flyover is scheduled for tomorrow.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Hollywood HOs Winner: Nicki Minaj

Hollywood HOs
This week's Hollywood HOs (Hall of Shame) winner was a slam dunk!  Even though Gwyneth Paltrow still takes baths with her 5 and 7 year old children, I knew on Monday there could only be one winner this week.  Nicki Minaj.  Before I go any further, let's take a look at just one of the images from her Grammy "performance".

Nicki Minaj or Maxine Waters?
Ms. Minaj's night at the Grammys included being escorted by the Pope, dancing priests, levitation, and an exorcism.  (Maybe Maxine Waters confused the GOP with the Grammys.)  The Catholic church, which has had a really rough couple of weeks, was understandably not amused.  I was only able to watch snippets of her performance in attempt to keep my revulsion level down and will not post the video on my blog.  If you wish to see it for yourself, you can view the video on John Nolte's blog post on Big Hollywood here.

My guess is that Ms. Minaj felt slighted at being upstaged by MIA at the Super Bowl so she decided to ratchet up her level of outrageous for the Grammys.  I have the perfect idea for her!  Nicki, if you really are a brave, independent, creative, outrageous performer, let's take it to the next level.  Perform this piece next year at the Grammys and I can promise that you will have publicity, exposure, and notoriety like you have never known.
  • You are escorted in by Muhammad... with a fuse hanging out of his turban.... and eating a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.
  • As he leads you to your seat, you reward him with a painting of him and dogs playing poker.
  • You perform your new single "Mecca Meltdown" surrounded by 72 dancers in white burqas.  
  • At the end of the song, the dancers rip off the burqas and they're not women, they are gay men.
  • You lead Muhammad onto the stage to be carried off on the shoulders of the dancers.
I'm sure that Hollywood, the television networks, and the music industry will rally in support of your brave genius.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Democrats Looking to Exorcise The Demons of the GOP

Maxine could use a spa day!

Was there some nationwide screening of the Exorcist for liberals that I don't know about?  Everywhere I look today, some progressive whackitron is making references to casting out the demons and evil spirits that are the Republicans.

First up is Clarence B. Jones, with a column at The Huffington Post titled..."Demonizing Obama and the Politics of Morality".  Read it here if you are done eating.  Obviously Clarence, the left would never stoop so low as to "demonize" a political opponent, right?  Uh, not so fast pea-soup breath!

Next is SACSTW favorite Maxine Waters.  Speaking to California Democrats, the lovely, reasoned, and well balanced Rep.Waters (D-Ca) had this to say on the topic of Satan's minions....

Shockingly, no mention of a member of Congress referring to other members as "demons" made its way onto the websites of ABC news, CNN, MSNBC, or CBC.  The Huffington Post did obliquely mention the story, but only in a hit piece on Fox News anchor Eric Bolling, who advised Waters to "step away from the crack pipe".  Not only did the kind and gentle Rep. Waters call 2 GOP leaders "demons", she went on to characterize them as "legislators who are destroying this country rather than bringing us together".  There's an old saying about a pot and a kettle that would be appropriate here, but I don't dare use it as it also contains the word "black".

Actually, part of what Maxine spewed is correct.....this conservative doesn't want to "come together" with Mad Maxine.....short pause while the cold chill finishes traversing my spine...., I want Maxine and her gang of haters to go away, and never foul the stage of government again.  Conservatives need to be trying to defeat and vanquish, not compromise with people who want to "transform" America.

Finally there is this does a Republican presidential candidate know when the liberal establishment is worried about him?   Answer:  When the Huffington Post runs this photo as the lead on their Politics page......

Creepy lighting....check
Gnarled claws for hands....check
Mouth open in mid-satanic chant....check
Name that kind of sounds like some religious thingy....check

Thank goodness the liberal establishment would never seek to demonize conservatives!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Edict from the Sandwich Nazi: Mandatory Lunch Inspections!

Ministry of Plenty
Department of Healthy Food Initiatives


Press release - MOPDOHFI - 15 February 2012

The Ministry of Plenty Department of Healthy Food Initiatives has decreed that all school lunches brought from home must be inspected for mandatory nutrition levels and to insure that no seditious notes from parents disparaging our Dear Leader Obama are included.

Reports of little girls bringing turkey and cheese sandwiches, bananas, chips, and fruit juice for lunch can no longer be tolerated. Food Czar Sam Kass (formerly titled Sandwich Nazi, but they ran into copyright issues with Seinfeld) states, "The government must ensure that every little girl is fed, by force if necessary, food we deem to be nutritious regardless of parental wishes.  It is crucial that every little girl grows up healthy so that she can make the correct decision later in life to abort unwanted children because it is not the government's role to tell women what they should do with their bodies."

Lunches not meeting governmental standards will be discarded and will be replaced meals specially selected by Dear Leader Obama's wife. Only children whose parents are money-grubbing capitalist swine will be charged for these lunches.

Failure to comply with this edict will result in a compulsory invitation to one of Minister Holder's reeducation camps.  As it is written, so mote it be.

Reminder:  We have always been at war with Eastasia

You can view the article that prompted this edict here.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Stanley and Dear Leader in happier times.............

Cavernous Trachea: New Obama Letter to Karl Marx

During my routine vehicle check for tracking and listening devices as I was leaving the SACSTW secret underground command bunker yesterday, I saw an object sitting on the driver's seat.  I had the SACSTW Robotics lab bring up the bomb robot to check it out.  Once the bomb analysis proved negative, the Crew and I examined the object.  It was a book with a note attached and several hand-written sheets of paper inside.  The note simply said, "Another letter from Obama to his hero Karl Marx.  Enjoy!  Your friend, Cavernous Trachea."  So devoted readers, we submit for your reading pleasure President Obama's most recent missive to his hero Karl Marx.

"Dear Karl,
The doctors are making me write to you again.  Apparently, they feel I had another 'episode'.  So while I am waiting for my latest B12 shot to kick in (I'm really starting to like them), they asked me to write you another letter.  
Everyone is REALLY overreacting this time.  It was just a simple misunderstanding.  With Herman Cain out of the game, I figured I would co-opt his 999 tax plan as my own. As you know from my last letter, Mr. Teleprompter has really been letting me down lately.  So to help me remember the numbers, I had 999 tattooed on my wrist.  All I have to do is pull up my sleeve a little and sneak a peak when I need one. 
Well Karl, that brings us to today.  It was too cold to play golf so me and my buds went down to the DC CYO to shoot a little hoop.  (For some reason everyone down there was giving me dirty looks.)  After the game, the priest who runs the place wanted to have a few words with me.  Something about contraceptives blah, blah, blah, freedom of religion blah, blah, blah.  So he looks down at my wrist and starts freaking out.  Before the Secret Service agents can react, he pulls a bottle out of his pocket and throws some sort of liquid on me. I don't care what anyone says!  I did NOT writhe on the ground screaming 'It burns! It burns!"  I simply slipped on the 'holy' water (I don't believe the lab results, I think it was some kind of acid.) and twisted my ankle.  I was calmly telling everyone "It turned.  It turned." 
Karl, why are the Catholics getting so worked up about everything?  Heck, you said religion is the opium of the people.  I thought they'd be so doped up that they wouldn't notice my little end-around the constitution.  Even Joe and the Notre Dame administration weren't with me on that one.  Don't they understand that I know what's best for them?  Ingrates... 
I just feel so alone.  I know the republicans hate my guts, but Harry Reid won't even bring my new budget to a vote. All it takes is a simple majority to pass and the republicans can't filibuster it.  Besides, I worked really really hard on it.  
I guess I still have my friends at Media Matters.  I got the idea for our weekly strategy sessions from LBJ and McNamara during Viet Nam.  I can count on them to get my message out correctly to the major news outlets.  I've given up on Fox though, I don't think they'll ever come around.  Maybe I can get Murdoch deported...

I'll always have you Karl, and of course Stanley*.  He should be around soon for our evening ride on the South Lawn.  I will be better.  I promise to try and maintain my composure even when Joe provokes me.  I can't believe he didn't think it was funny when I switched his Bible for the Koran before the prayer breakfast.  There's Stanley now.  Have to go.
Your devoted friend,

After reading Obama's latest letter, the Crew asked, "Check out the book!  Maybe it has more clues as to Cavernous Trachea's identity."  At this point I noticed the title, "Plagiarism for Dummies", hmmmmmmm.

*Stanley is President Obama's pet unicorn.

Breaking News: Def Leppard Saves Social Security!

In the immortal words of Joe Elliott...."it's better to burn out, ...then fade away"

Monday, February 13, 2012

Monday Musings With The Crew

  • The most important thing we learned during last week's contraceptive kerfluffle is that the Obama Administration, like SACSTW, is in possession of a time machine.  Dear Leader fired that sucker up last week and gave us all a glimpse of what government healthcare will look like in our near future.  Federal interventionism is going to reach stratospheric new heights under Obamacare, and forcing religious entities to violate their own tenets is just the beginning.  Who knows, maybe even as we speak Obama is making plans to force mosques in America to serve pulled pork sandwiches on plates emblazoned with a likeness of Muhammad.  Yeah, probably not. 
  • For all of us Star Trek fans out there, one of the great mysteries of life is how super-villain Khan rose to power on Earth.  You know, before he was banished to Ceti Alpha V by Captain Kirk.......

Well, now we know.  Khan got his start as Barack Obama's Health and Human Services Secretary...

Huh, I thought a Prince of the Eugenics Wars would be taller.
  • Oklahoma State Senate bill 1433 seeks to define human life as beginning at the moment of conception. Predictably, this has pro-abortion progressives all abuzz..  An article by Jessica Pieklo at said this...."Like all other personhood measures, this one would afford that homeless cluster of cells full and equal rights under the law".  The Crew would humbly ask Ms. (i'm guessing) Pieklo exactly when that "homeless cluster of cells" becomes human life in her learned opinion.  The best part of this story is a proposed amendment to 1433.  Known as the "Every Sperm is Sacred" amendment, it reads "Any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a women's vagina shall be construed as an action against an unborn child".  The amendment was proposed by pro-abortion Democratic State Senator Constance......(wait for it)........Johnson!  Look people, I can not make this stuff up.  Fortunately, the Johnson amendment was prematurely withdrawn before further action was needed.  I'm sure all the voters of Oklahoma are so proud.  
  • Of course the big news over the weekend was the death of Whitney Houston at 48 years of age.  A monumental talent, Houston's life was derailed by a long history of poor decisions.  Her death is an opportunity for parents to teach their children the consequences of bad decisions, and of surrounding yourself with those that make bad decisions.  Rather than dwell on the sordid circumstances surrounding Houston's demise, I'd rather just leave you with this memory of her finest moment.....

Friday, February 10, 2012

Hollywood HOs Weekly Winner: George Lucas

Hollywood HOs
It is with heavy heart that I must award this week's Hollywood HOs winner.  This week's winner is *sob* George Lucas.  I was 12 when Star Wars was released.  I must have went to see it a dozen times.  I loved George Lucas.  For years I have defended him through thick and Jar Jar Binks, but today he is dead to me.

In a recent interview with the Hollywood Reporter, George Lucas told the interviewer *sigh*,  
 "It had been done in all close-ups and it was confusing about who did what to whom. I put a little wider shot in there that made it clear that Greedo is the one who shot first "
There you have it ladies and gentlemen!  In deference to political correctness, the great George Lucas LIED!   Below is the photographic evidence:  HAN SHOT FIRST!

Han Shot First!
I may have to burn my Darth Vader footie PJs....

Make sure that you check out the links in the comment below by Paul J.  They will set you straight!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Young, Wild, and Naked: A Deadly Threat!

Hello devoted readers!  I know that you clicked on the link to this blog post to see naked, ax-wielding supermodels, or because you were thinking "What did Morgan Freeman do now?"  Here you go. Sort of...   (Sorry, this blog safe viewing for everyone but liberals.)
Beautiful and Deadly! (not)

Titillating and scary sells.  How else could we have such venerable Hollywood classics like "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers"?  So if I had titled this post "The Hidden Dangers of Federal Regulation", would you have clicked on it?  I know I wouldn't have.  It would have met with a yawn and a "Pass!"

Americans suck at evaluating risk.  You are three times more likely to die from tipping over a vending machine than from a shark attack, but I must have missed the "When Snacks Attack!" special on the Discovery channel during Vending Machine Week

Here is a picture of something a million times deadlier than the attractive young lady above.  If your children are near, shield their eyes.

Code of Federal Regulations Books:  Boring and Deadly (VERY)
New federal laws are the sexy ax-wielding Victoria's Secrets models riding a shark.  Federal regulation is the vending machine tipping over on you after you've had a heart attack from high blood pressure.  Let me illustrate with an example currently in the news.

There's a relatively new law of which you may have heard.  We lovingly refer to it as Obamacare.  It was the cause of much brouhaha and ballyhoo.  What you may not know is that it is packed with HIPAA regulations that will cost billions to implement.  These are not part of the obese monstrosity that is already the law.  These are "add-ons".  These regulations get ZERO press.  New regulations, departmental "guidelines", and level of enforcement are everything.  With the right regs and enforcement, you can make just about any law mean anything you want.

Recently however; the Obama administration has inexplicably tipped its hand.  Feeling 50 foot tall and bullet-proof because they hadn't been previously taken to task, they decided they were up to tangling with the Catholic Church.  Obamacare forces employer provided healthcare plans to include contraceptive coverage as part of those plans.  As per Obama administration instructions to HHS, the scope of religious exemptions is to be very narrow and enforcement to be vigilant.  Needless to say, Catholics around the country (including Obama supporters) are not amused.

The moral of this tale dear readers, is that elections matter.  Who the president is matters. Not in the sexy veto, state-of-the-union, commander-in-chief sort of way, but in the boring departmental and lower-court appointee way. Obama must go!  If Mr. BoTingles Chris Matthews thinks the president has gone to far, then WOW!

H/T Laughing Conservative

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Obama and Ginsburg: Founding Fathers? Hacks!

'The Forgotten Man' by Jon McNaughton . Buy the print HERE!

Ruth Buzzi Ginsburg

Editor's note:  This post is a little longer than most, but trust me, the payoff at the end is worth it! :)

I admit it.  I have a colossal man-crush on the U.S. Constitution.  To think that our Founders crafted a document that has withstood liberal progressive onslaught for over 220 years is simply awe-inspiring.  To this American, the Constitution is our nation's most precious commodity, our greatest contribution to humanity.  It is a shining beacon of freedom, giving hope to the oppressed all across the globe that like the Founders, they too have a chance to shed the manacles of tyranny.

Unfortunately, not every American feels this way.  Even more unfortunately, two of those are President Barack Hussein Obama and Supreme Court Justice Ruth Buzzi Ginsburg.

I do have to give Dear Leader points for openly admitting his contempt and scorn for the Constitution during his recent interview with NBC's Matt Lauer.  Keep in mind, these words were spoken by a man who swore an oath to "preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States. Sayeth Obama....

What's frustrated people is that I have not been able to FORCE (emphasis mine) Congress to implement every aspect of what I said in 2008.  Well, you know, it turns out our Founders designed a system that makes it more difficult to bring about change than I would like sometimes.

There is is folks, everything you need to know about Barack Hussein Obama, distilled down into 48 of his own despicable words.  Freedom loving Americans should be very thankful that the Founders designed the system that they did.  More than 200 years ago, they could foresee a tyrant want-to-be gaining the highest office in the land, and they knew what to do about that possibility.  Just more evidence of the true agenda of Barack Hussein Obama, and of the brilliant foresight of the men in that Philadelphia room during the summer of 1787.

At least we can be comforted that the Supreme Court of the United States stands ready to "support and defend" our Constitution, as their oath of office requires.  Yeah, maybe not so much.  Justice Buzzi Ginsburg was interviewed on Egyptian TV recently.  The reporter asked her where Egypt's leaders should turn for guidance in crafting the structure and foundation of a new Egyptian government.  You might think this was a slam-dunk question for a SCOTUS justice, you would be wrong.  Sayeth Buzzi Ginsburg....

I would not look to the U.S. Constitution if I were drafting a constitution in the year 2012.  I might look at the constitution of South Africa.  That was a deliberate attempt to have a fundamental instrument of government that embraced basic human rights, had an independent judiciary, it really is, I think, a great piece of work that was done.

Now, doesn't that give you a warm, fuzzy feeling that Justice Ginsburg is using the U.S. Constitution as her guiding force when ruling from the bench of the highest court in the land?  Me neither.  Being the dutiful blogger I am, I read the constitution of South Africa, and encourage you to do the same here.  It's a hoot!  Be forewarned, the document is a lengthy and verbose thesis on the theory and application of liberal statism.  I particularly liked its Bill of Rights, which outlines the cradle to grave governmental dependency that liberal whackjobs like Ruth Buzzi Ginsburg can really revel in.  It also every now and then sounds like it was written by an 9 year old girl.  For example, I give you section 9, subsections 3 through 5.....

(3)  The state may not unfairly discriminate directly or indirectly against anyone on one or more grounds, including race, gender, sex, pregnancy, marital status, ethnic or social origin, colour, sexual orientation, age, disability, religion, conscience, belief, culture, language and birth.

(4) No person may unfairly discriminate directly or indirectly against anyone on one or more grounds in terms of subsection (3).  National legislation must be enacted to prevent or prohibit unfair discrimination.

And now the punchline.....

(5) Discrimination on one or more of the grounds listed in subsection (3) is unfair unless it is established that the discrimination is fair.

That's just one example of the lunacy that Justice Ruth Buzzi Ginsburg sees as "a great piece of work" that is superior and more desirable than the United States Constitution.  As for Justice Ginsburg herself, she hasn't done a great piece of work since this.......

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Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Death to Great Satans Bart and Barbie!

The Great Satan!
The Not-So-Great Satan!

The United States and Israel move over!  Your reigns of satanhood are over.  The Killer Bs have dethroned you.  Bart and Barbie are haraam.  

Mohammad Hossein Farjoo
The delightfully monikered  Mohammad Hossein Farjoo (I can only assume the surname Farjoo is derived from his desired proximity to people of the Hebrew persuasion...) has declared both Bart Simpson and Barbie VERBOTTEN!  Mr. Farjoo's full title is "Secretary for Policy-making at the Institute for the Intellectual Development of Children and Young Adults in Tehran" or Burgerneister Meisterburger for short. BM Farjoo has proclaimed that Barbie and Bart are "illegal, unmoral, unlawful, and anyone found with a toy in his possession will be placed under arrest and thrown in the dungeon. No kidding!"  The children of Sombertown... errr Tehran will have to really, REALLY want a Bart or Barbie toy for Ramadan.

But not to worry, BM Farjoo says that all-American action heroes are still welcome in Iran.  His institute specifically plans on ordering  50,000 David Duke action figures for 2012! *Burning crosses and stars of David sold separately.  I might be going out on a limb here, but I would think that the children of Iran would like to quote Bart and tell BM Farjoo to "Eat My Shorts!"

You can read more about Burgermeister Meisterburger Farjoo here.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Chuck Norris Speaks, Everyone Listens

As you know, we here at SACSTW are in favor of the "Chuck" presidential ticket....of course that means Woolery/Norris.  Read this article for more words of wisdom from the great Chuck Norris.

Monday Musings With The Crew

  • Tomorrow, my home state of Missouri will hold a presidential primary that means less than nothing.  No delegates will be won, Newt Gingrich is not on the ballot, and John Hunstman, Herman Cain, Rick Perry, and Michele Bachman are on the ballot.  Oh, and did I mention that the state is expected to spend about seven million dollars of OPM on the meaningless beauty contest?  Missouri's GOP delegates will actually be won and lost during the county by county caucus scheduled for March 17th.  That's right, the Missouri Republican Party is choosing its delegates on St. Patrick's Day, the day when more beer is consumed in Kansas City and St. Louis than on any other day of the year.  I fully expect most of the GOP delegates to be won by this guy.....

Mmmmm....taxpayer money is magically delicious!
  • Vice-President Joe Biden recently said that he advised President Obama against the raid that ended with the capture/killing of Osama bin Laden.  At the time it seemed like an odd admission of discord within the White House.  Yeah, not exactly.  Remember that EVERYTHING that comes from the Obama administration is aimed at boosting Dear Leader's re-election hopes.  By saying what he did, Biden makes Obama look like the decisive, strong national defense executive that we all know he isn't. "Why lookie here uninformed voter, Dear Leader was willing to even go against his own Veep (who is supposed to be the national security expert in the administration) to bring down Osama"  "Such gallantry, such grit and courage, why we had to talk Barack out of leading the mission himself!"  Sorry Joe, SACSTW ain't buying it.  
  • Want to know the difference between conservatives and liberal statists like Dear Leader?  Obama and his philosophical brethren define success by how many Americans are dependent on governmental largesse (OPM) for their daily lives.  Conservatives define success by how many no longer need such support.  Dear Leader likes to talk about how his policies have helped poor people stay afloat, and helped those in the middle class stay in the middle class.  He NEVER mentions helping poor people become......NOT POOR!  He NEVER mentions middle class Americans moving up the socio-economic scales.  He knows that government is not the tool that can get that done.  May I suggest a new slogan for the Democratic Party...."Keeping America's Poor In Their Place For 100 Years"
  • Tom Coughlin has now won 2 Super Bowls in the last 4 seasons.  Think the Jacksonville Jaguars would like to have him back?  By the way, does anyone remember when Super Bowl commercials were funny and entertaining?  The state of affairs in the U.S. advertising industry is sad indeed.
  • Taking a page from the Elvis Grbac handbook.....Gisele issued this post-Super Bowl analysis of hubby Tom Brady's performance.  "My husband can not f***ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time."  For thinking that anyone cares what she says about football, Mrs. Brady gets my nomination for Hollywood HOs of the the week.
  • It's been a few weeks since we all enjoyed a nice swimming goat video, so...............

Note to readers-  If crazy goat lady invites you over for a pool party, don't eat the chocolate-covered raisins. 

Friday, February 3, 2012

Weekly Hollywood HOs Winner: Morgan Freeman

Hollywood HOs
Weekly Winner: Morgan Freeman
We have several deserving nominees for this week's Hollywood HOs (Hall of Shame) winner.  We have Miley Cyrus attempting to join former pantheon of skankhood laureates Madonna, Britney Spears, and Paris Hilton.  We have parent of the year nominee, Cindy Crawford, ushering her 10 year old daughter into a life of eating disorders, pedophiles, narcissism, and addiction.

But this week's winner is a dual award winner.  Not only has Morgan Freeman won this week's Hollywood HOs award, he has also won the coveted Woody Allen Creepy Patriarch Lifetime Achievement award.  Mr. Freeman has apparently either married or intends to marry his, get ready for it... GRANDDAUGHTER

OK, she is only his "step" granddaughter, but EWWWWWWW!  In general, I feel that the use of "EWWWWWWW!" is unmanly in the extreme, but nothing else quite suffices.  My first memories of Morgan are of him on the children's show The Electric Company in the 70's.  Considering media reports that he has married, intends to marry, or in the very least  is having a relationship with a woman 45 years his junior that began when she was 17, again I say EWWWWWWW!

My 12 year old son just walked by as I was writing this post and saw the picture of Morgan Freeman, but not the text.  He asked, "Is that Morgan Freeman?"  I said, "Yes."  He asked, "How old is he?"  I said, "74."  He asked, "Is he still doing stuff?"  I nodded and as he walked away I said softly, "Apparently."

*Editor's note:  At times, we take some creative liberties in our stories.  The preceding paragraph is a 100% factual account of my conversation with my son.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Short-Circuiting The Chevy Volt

Look, I'm as much in favor of clean renewable energy sources as the next person (unless the next person is Ed Begley, Jr.).  As a matter of fact, I would love to see the United States produce its electricity from nuclear power, for Gaia's sake France gets almost all of her electricity that way!  But you greenbeans don't like that either.  No, you want us all to be toodling around town in a coal-fired abomination from Obama Motors.

Isn't it time to pull the plug on the Chevy Volt?  Sales of the enviro-moonbat darling plummeted from 1529 in December of 2011 to 603 this past month.  603!  Compare that to the Ford Focus (14,400 sold in January), Toyota Corolla (17,988 sold in January), and Honda Civic (21,883 sold in January). For crying out loud, the Kia Soul had sales of 8,093, and that is a vehicle whose national spokesman is a dancing hamster! That is the marketplace speaking loud and clear.  SACSTW has conducted a painstaking review of the Chevy Volt, and has discovered the real reason behind its poor sales figures.  It sucks.

Eric Bolling of Fox News came to the same conclusion after recently driving a Volt.  He appeared on Fox and Friends this morning to talk about the experience.  Bolling has been critical of the Volt, and of Government Motors in general.  GM asked him to drive a Volt to experience the car firsthand.  According to Bolling, he got about 20-25 miles on a full charge before the car switched over to its gasoline powerplant.  GM claims a 40 mile range on full electric power.  The Volt gets about 35 mpg burning gas and sports a 9.3 gallon gas tank.  If we do the math, we can see that a Volt can travel about 350 miles on a full electric charge PLUS a full tank of gas (Premium by the way!).  That leaves us with an effective gas mileage of 37.6 mpg.  Not bad right?

It's not too bad until you factor in the Volt's sticker price of $40-45,000.  Holy fossil fuel Batman, that is a big number!  Let's again compare to the other vehicles I listed above

  • Toyota Corolla:  Gets approximately 30 mpg burning regular gasoline (7.5% cheaper than premium) and starts around a sticker of $18,000.  
  • Ford Focus:  Gets around 31 mpg burning regular gasoline and starts at around $17,295
  • Honda Civic: Gets around 32 mpg burning regular gasoline and starts at around $22,000.
I can hear the greenbeans chirping now.... "Crew, those 25 (or 40 if you believe GM) miles driven under full electric power are so much better for Mother Earth, Americans should be willing to pay any price to save our planet!"  SACSTW sent our investigative photographers out and they were able to capture this image of where  the Volt's electric power actually comes from.....

That's right bunny-hugger, the vast majority of the electron flow you are so gleefully pouring into your Volt comes from the burning of coal.  So go ahead and take that Volt out for its 25 mile jaunt around town, we'll just throw another shovel full of fossil fuel on the fire for ya!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Chuck Woolery: The US is NOT a Democracy

This has been a pet peeve of mine for years; idiot politicians who should know better calling the United States of America a democracy.  Maybe they are just pandering to us because they think we are too stupid to understand, but we are not a democracy.  We are a representative republic.  SACSTW hero Chuck Woolery does a fantastic job of explaining it.  We hope you enjoy the video as much as we did.

Thank you great American Chuck Woolery for the wonderful civics lesson!