Friday, February 17, 2012

Hollywood HOs Winner: Nicki Minaj

Hollywood HOs
This week's Hollywood HOs (Hall of Shame) winner was a slam dunk!  Even though Gwyneth Paltrow still takes baths with her 5 and 7 year old children, I knew on Monday there could only be one winner this week.  Nicki Minaj.  Before I go any further, let's take a look at just one of the images from her Grammy "performance".

Nicki Minaj or Maxine Waters?
Ms. Minaj's night at the Grammys included being escorted by the Pope, dancing priests, levitation, and an exorcism.  (Maybe Maxine Waters confused the GOP with the Grammys.)  The Catholic church, which has had a really rough couple of weeks, was understandably not amused.  I was only able to watch snippets of her performance in attempt to keep my revulsion level down and will not post the video on my blog.  If you wish to see it for yourself, you can view the video on John Nolte's blog post on Big Hollywood here.

My guess is that Ms. Minaj felt slighted at being upstaged by MIA at the Super Bowl so she decided to ratchet up her level of outrageous for the Grammys.  I have the perfect idea for her!  Nicki, if you really are a brave, independent, creative, outrageous performer, let's take it to the next level.  Perform this piece next year at the Grammys and I can promise that you will have publicity, exposure, and notoriety like you have never known.
  • You are escorted in by Muhammad... with a fuse hanging out of his turban.... and eating a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.
  • As he leads you to your seat, you reward him with a painting of him and dogs playing poker.
  • You perform your new single "Mecca Meltdown" surrounded by 72 dancers in white burqas.  
  • At the end of the song, the dancers rip off the burqas and they're not women, they are gay men.
  • You lead Muhammad onto the stage to be carried off on the shoulders of the dancers.
I'm sure that Hollywood, the television networks, and the music industry will rally in support of your brave genius.


  1. There you go again Sahib...Words simply can't convey my deep admiration of.....

  2. One other thing...we shouldn't hate on Gwyneth, she is only giving her kids a chance to bathe with THE MOST beautiful woman in the world. It's not creepy, no, it's for the kids benefit.

  3. Hahaha like your blog and that would take a lot of balls....

  4. Thanks! We're glad you enjoy it. We aren't holding our breath about Ms. Minaj taking our advice.