Monday, October 31, 2011

Scariest Movies of all time...

Happy Halloween!

I know everyone does a scariest movies of all time list this time of year, but I thought I would include some of mine.

  • The Shining - Jack Nicholson's face shoved through the bathroom door was pretty scary.  Shelley Duvall's face.... even scarier.
  • A Nightmare on Elm Street - The series got dumb fast, but the scene where Freddy was dragging the knives down the alley walls was super creepy.
  • The Thing (1982) - The dread of not knowing who's the monster was like someone pressing on my chest. Nice doggy!  
  • Alien - "Hey what's for dinner?"  Nuff said... Aliens was a great movie too, but not as scary.
  • Poltergeist - "They're hereeee!"
  • The Blair Witch Project - I watched it in an almost empty theater with no one sitting near me.  The final scene creeped me out like no movie had in a long time.
  • Halloween - Best use of a musical score in a horror movie ever.  John Carpenter makes my list twice. He wrote the score.
  • Rosemary's Baby - One of the best final scenes ever.
  • Event Horizon - This one doesn't make nearly as many lists as the others, but I thought it was the scariest for me.  I dare any of you to watch this one alone in the dark.  Think Alien without any aliens.

Now devoted readers, I am sure you are all screaming about what's missing from the list. (I'm not talking about Psycho, which while good didn't scare me like the others on the list.)  I'm sure you all are thinking or yelling, "Where is 'The Exorcist'?"  The answer is simple.  I've never been able to watch it.  I've tried once or twice, but could never make it more than 15 or 20 minutes.  I guess that probably makes it the scariest movie of all time for me, but I can't really say for sure.  I've never made it half-way through.

Have a fun, safe, and happy Halloween!

Weekend Musings

After spending the weekend secluded in the official SACSTW hideaway deep in the Ozark Mountains, I emerged today to find several delicious nuggets in the news....

  • A baby born today officially became the 7 billionth person on Earth.  Geez, somewhere Paul Erlich is having an embolism.  Seven billion sounds like a lot of folks and it is.  It is also the number of dollars spent by the U.S. Federal Government every 16 hrs and 48 minutes.

  • The Catholic University of America is being sued by law professor John Banzhaf for allegedly discriminating against Muslim students by not affording them prayer space free of Catholic symbols and imagery.  Banzhaf claims that the university “does not provide space – as other universities do – for the many daily prayers Muslim students must make, forcing them instead to find temporarily empty classrooms where they are often surrounded by Catholic symbols which are incongruous to their religion,”.  Interestingly, the lawsuit does not name any aggrieved Muslim students, in fact the university claims to have never received a complaint from a Muslim student.  Mr. Banzhaf appears to be going this one alone. 

Ah....the religion of peace
  • is reporting that GOP candidate Herman Cain was accused in the late 1990's of making 2 female National Restaurant Association staffers  "angry and uncomfortable" with sexually suggestive behavior while Cain was head of the organization.  No word yet on whether Cain left any pubic hairs on the women's soda cans.  Cain supporters can take comfort in the fact that Herman hasn't been accused of any of the following:
  1. Lying about having sex with a young intern in the Oval Office while giving a deposition in a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by another woman.  (Democratic President Bill Clinton)
  2. Sexually assaulting a women and raping another.  (Democratic President Bill Clinton)
  3. Driving off a bridge and abandoning his young female date to drown (Democratic Senator and presidential candidate Edward Kennedy)
  4. Hiring a male prostitute who then ran a gay prostitute service out of his home (Democratic US Representative Barney Frank)
  5. Being convicted on 12 counts of sexual assault, obstruction of justice, and solicitation of child pornography involving a relationship with a 16 year old campaign volunteer.  (Democratic US Rep Mel Reynolds)
  6. Being convicted of 15 counts of bank fraud ("Merry" Mel Reynolds again)
If you are interested in reading some more about those wacky Democrats, take a look here.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Punished For Not Breaking the Law!

When “social justice” replaces “equal justice”.  (anonymous commenter)

Ask Greece about that...

No surprise to this intrepid blogger, the Occupato Mafia moonbats are receiving preferential treatment.  Wow, who’d a thunk it?  The group that defecates on police cars, molests women and young girls, steals, vandalizes, and abstains from bathing gets a pass on silly things like permits and fees, while the Tea Party organizers are forced to pay.  

The Richmond Tea Party plans on submitting a bill for around $8000 to Richmond Mayor Dwight Jones.  According to a CBS Washington story, the group plans on sending the bill between today and Monday.  Richmond Tea Party spokeswoman Colleen Owens said, “The Occupiers are still there and [the mayor’s office] need to explain themselves. Why is it OK for some people to break the law and why is it OK for others to comply with the law? Why is that OK and why is that acceptable? I don’t think that’s acceptable.”

Colleen, I can tell you why.  The Tea Party conservatives believe in the rule of law.  The left believes in the rule of “whatever is good for me”.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

OWS Wants the Freeloaders Out! Huh?

Check out this title of a NY Post article from today:
"Occupy Wall Street kitchen staff protesting fixing food for freeloaders"

Now, the Crew must admit to being a little befuddled by this banner.  After all, isn't this like (reader beware- analogy ahead!) "Street whores protesting sex with strangers" or even "Liberals protest confiscating money from productive citizens!".  Hellooooo OWS kitchen staff-  fixing food for freeloaders is your raison d'etre is it not? 

Now, digging a little deeper into the article (available here), one discovers that the OWS cooks have been preparing "high end" meals for the protesters such as organic chicken, spaghetti bolognese, and sheeps milk-cheese salad.  Such high-falutin fare has attracted area homeless people that the OWS protesters find to be objectionable.  The cooks refused to provide any meals for 2 hours yesterday, and plan to just serve rice and other basics for the next 3 days. 

OWS protesters said the "high-end" meals would be discontinued permanently if "the vagrants and criminals don't disperse".  The article quotes kitchen volunteer Rafael Moreno as saying "we need to limit the amount of food we're putting out" in order to curb the influx of derelicts.  Also quoted in the article is a security volunteer who said the cooks feel "overworked and underappreciated".  Huh, not much fun to work hard supporting those that don't, is it?  Welcome to the world of Sahib and the Crew. 

Now, I don't claim to be Nostradamus, but here's my prediction.  If all the vagrants, criminals, and derelicts disperse from the OWS protest.....There will be no one left to feed! 

SACSTW quiz time:  can you distinguish the derelict from the hardworking OWS protester in these photos?

Ok- I know the hippie-dippie shirt was a dead give away
With apologies to George Orwell, it seems that all derelicts are equal, but some derelicts are more equal than others. 

Late-Breaking Update to this Story: The OWS protest against the accumulation of vagrants and derelicts is now under investigation by the Ministry of Delicious Irony.  A full MDI report is expected soon.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Stupid Tax Payers! Your Debt is from Kids!

During my morning perusal of news headlines, this MSBNC article caught my attention:  “Another idea for student loan debt:  Make it go away.”  Devoted readers, before I shower you with editorial pearls of wisdom, I would like you to read the following section from the article:

It is not my responsibility to pay for your dream!
“The broad appeal of the movement was illustrated by one passer-by who stopped to listen to the discussion. ‘I married someone who had student loan debt, so by default that’s become part of my life now,’ said David Solomon, wearing a button-down shirt and rain coat. Solomon, a 27-year-old who works in tech support and lives in Sunset Park, Brooklyn, said he and his wife met at New York University where they both went for undergrad. His tuition was paid for, but his wife took out student loans to pay for school.  They currently pay about $400 a month in loan fees on her $150,000 in debut because they had worked out some deferments, but he said that will rise to approximately $1,100 a month by September 2012. ‘She had been interested in getting a house and we looked at the numbers,’ said Solomon. ‘But that’s just not going to happen — not anytime soon at least.’ Solomon indicated he wasn’t ready to take to the streets just yet, but he believes the “Occupy” protest has seized upon an issue that has not been taken seriously, despite the adverse impact it is having on so many lives.”

What a giant pile of excrement!  Let’s look at it shovel by shovel, or bad decision by bad decision.

Bad Decision #1 (Mr. Solomon):  You “CHOSE” to marry a girl that was $150,000 in debt!  Did you forget the whole for richer or poorer part?  I really hope she is cute.

Bad Decision #2 (Mrs. Solomon):  You “CHOSE” to go to NYU which you obviously could not afford.  You could have chosen Junior, State, or Beauty College.

Bad Decision #3 (Mrs. Solomon):  You “CHOSE” to finance the NYU education that you could not afford through student loans.

Bad Decision #4 (Mrs. Solomon):  You apparently “CHOSE” a major that would not afford you a career that would enable you to easily repay your student loans, or if you did, you “CHOSE” not to pursue that career.  (My money’s on Art History.)

One question:  WHY ARE WE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS COUPLE’S POOR DECISIONS?  Guess what?  I CHOOSE not to bail these people out.

“Oh but Sahib, you are being so heartless and cruel!”  GOOD!  It’s called tough love.  Maybe they will impart the lessons they learned on their mush-brained little darlings when they have them.

Of course if our Dear Leader has his way, we’ll just add these people to the leech gravy train.  The train is getting heavier and heavier and the mules are getting bled dry.

Editorial note: the MSNBC article was written by a Ms. Petra Cahill, Senior MSNBC News Editor.  Many potentially useful pieces of information were glaringly absent from her story.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Oh Crap, a Democrat!

Cartoon of the Day!

Thank you mother of Sahib!

Retirement of a Cold War Hero

Sahib and The Crew pay homage to the last remaining member of an unsung group of Cold War veterans.  This particular group of heroes stood silent vigil over our sleeping families for more than 50 years.  Protested, criticized, berated, and ostracized, you asked nothing in return and never a complaint passed your lips. (Not that you have lips, but you get the point.)

So it is with heavy heart that we say goodbye to last B53 nuclear bomb.  
The B53:  The Kremlin Attention Getter
The last of its Armageddon-thwarting brethren, this bad-boy weighs in at a sleek 10,000 pounds and is roughly the size of a minivan.  The Federation of American Scientists reports that the B53 is 600 times more powerful than the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima.  Sahib and The Crew like to refer to them as “The Kremlin Attention Getters” or Commie Whoppers for short.

According to a Fox News article, the last B53 is currently being disassembled at the Pantex Plant near Amarillo, Texas. (Gee, and maybe we can provide the terrorists Mapquest directions to the place as well.)  Apparently, this process requires a bit more effort than stripping a car at a local chop-shop. “Since it was made using older technology by engineers who have since retired or died, developing a disassembly process took time. Engineers had to develop complex tools and new procedures to ensure safety.” (Does this bother anyone besides me? You would think someone might have thought to take a few notes or a snapshot or two.)

So farewell, paladin of the skies above our nation, and thank you for the thankless service you performed.   Those on the left who slept under the blanket of freedom you provided may not miss you, but Sahib and The Crew certainly will.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Ich Bin Ein Defecator - New Rally Cries for the Occupy "Movement"

Never let it be said that Sahib and the Crew do not feel for their fellow man, (sorry) person. There seems to be a real dearth of creativity in the Occupy “movement” when it comes to rally cries. So in the interest of brotherly, (sorry) personally love and harmony, Sahib and the Crew have put their vast talents forth in an effort to assist our much-loved and misguided brothers and sisters of the Occupy “movement”.

Occupy Berlin:  Ich Bin Ein Defecator!

Occupy Wall Street:  No Man with Washed Behind!

Occupy Topeka: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Occupy Martha's Vineyard:  But Daddy, I Love Him!

Occupy Hollywood:  You Are a Rude, Thoughtless, Little Pig!  Oh sorry, I thought you were my daughter.  (This one’s only effective with Alec Baldwin as keynote speaker.)

Occupy the Hamptons:  We Love the Pope!  The old one, not the Nazi one we have now. (Our thanks to Susan Sarandon for that gem.)

And Sahib's Personal Favorite -

Occupy Seattle:  Excuse Me While I Whip This Out!

Although we spent many seconds working on these, the list will continue to grow.  We will continue to add new rally cries as the Occupy “movement” continues to provide us with fodder.

Our apologies to JFK and Mel Brooks...  No apologies to whack-jobs Alec Baldwin and Susan Sarandon.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Joint News Release- Ministries of Funny Hats and Indeterminate Spelling

In a joint news release this morning, the Ministry of Funny Hats and Ministry of Indeterminate Spelling said the following.....

As news reports from Libya continue to filter in, it appears that joint MOFH/MOIS icon Moammar Gadhafi has been killed by rebels in his Libyan hometown of Sirte.  While we agree that Qaddafi was a despotic tyrant whose death should be cheered by lovers of freedom everywhere, those of us at the MOFH and MOIS can't help be feel a bit saddened this morning.  Muammar was a true leader in the arenas of remarkable headgear as well as ever changing word construction.  The MOFH and MOIS will now commence a world-wide search for someone to replace the late Colonel as our figurehead. 

May the crew humbly suggest the following as candidates....
President Alpha Conde of Guinea

President Evo Morales of Bolivia

Hugo Chavez of Venezuela
Vladimir Putin of Russia
Queen Margrethe of Denmark

And the offical SACSTW nominee........

Yang di-Pertuan Agong Mizan Zainal Abidin of Malaysia

An excellent nominee from devoted reader Rabbit....
Princess Beatrice


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Occupy Ohio Protesters: Take Cover!

PRESS RELEASE - Dateline:  Zanesville, Ohio
Warning to all Occupy Ohio (or OOPs) protesters!  Take cover immediately!  Police in Zanesville, Ohio have been ordered to "shoot to kill" dozens of escaped wild animals.  With tensions running high, the following images demonstrate the difficulty Zaneville police will face:

Which is is which?  I have difficulty telling myself.

There are a couple of tips that might help the police. Muskingum county Sheriff Matt Lutz described the escaped animals as "mature, very big and aggressive." Rarely, have Occupato Mafia protesters been described as "mature". It has also been reported that the personal hygiene of the escaped animals is "far superior" to that of your average OWS protester. 

Regardless, Occupy Ohio protesters are in grave danger. Please take cover immediately!

 (Who says conservatives aren't compassionate?)

Glad To See There Is No Hypocrisy Amongst The Ocupato Mafia

Yeah! Down with corporations!  Evil, greedy fat cats!  Hey dude, you almost stepped on my laptop.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Please Don't Feed the OPM Addicts

Article first published as Please Don't Feed the OPM Addicts on Technorati.

What is this thing you call "work" ?
On my way home from work....Wait, let's stop right there. For you Ocupato Mafia types currently befouling the streets and parks of our great nation, "work" means leaving your parent's basement early in the morning, going somewhere else and doing something that others value for many hours, then going back home to your family. In return for this "work", others who place value on your time, talents, and knowledge will compensate you financially. Cool huh?

Now that we are all on the same page, I was driving home from work yesterday listening to the local AM blatherfest. Caller Steve was talking to the pseudo-conservative show hosts. Poor Steve just couldn't understand why people raise such a fuss when their taxes go up. He claimed to have an income around $800,000 and to pay about $250,000 to the federal government this year. He "would gladly pay $280,000 if his taxes went up, just to support this great country". The hosts then asked Steve why he didn't just go ahead and send that extra 30K each year to support his beloved federal government. "Well", stammered Stevie, "it wouldn't do any good for just me to do that".

Steve is just like every career politician in Washington, hooked on OPM. Easy to spend, easy to steal, Other People's Money is the most addictive, most destructive substance in our country today. Just like tweakers and cokeheads, OPM addicts steal to support their habit. At least Mary Methhead has the decency to pilfer your stuff behind your back, OPM addicts are a little more brash. They can be seen on every media outlet in the country, clamoring for just another fix, just another few percentage points of your precious supply.

Well, you know what dude? I am all tapped out.

"Not This Nazi One We Have Now"

Ms. Sarandon: In one of her saner moments
I love being a conservative. If I were a liberal, I would have to deal with such cringe-worthy moments from cause-celeb lefty whack-jobs like Susan Sarandon all the time.

According to a Fox News article, Ms. Sarandon dropped this doozy at a film festival in the Hamptons (Yes moonbat fleabaggers, where the GREEDY RICH people live!) this weekend. When referencing a book she had sent to the pope, she made this clarification. "The last one. Not this Nazi one we have now." It is reported that when actor Bob Balaban tried to dance around the comment, she repeated it AGAIN to the laughter of the audience.

Now devoted readers, you don't have to scroll back very far in your memories or on this blog to recall the beating Bocephus (Hank Williams Jr.) took from the left when he made an ANALOGY about a golf game between the president and the speaker of the house. In case you were incommunicato, he said that the golf game between Obama and Boehner was like a golf game between Hitler and Netanyahu. It was an ANALOGY. He didn't call Obama Hitler. If you recall, it cost him his gig with Monday Night Football.

I am sure that the outcry from the media and the left will be thunderous that she immediately be stripped of her academy award and exiled to North Korea. Supporting my hypothesis, is this quote from the Fox News article:
"Susan Sarandon has a reputation of saying things that are controversial. This statement is certainly right up there. But given her history I doubt it will harm her career," public relations expert Glenn Selig added. "While inflammatory and insulting to many, particularly Catholics, people know her as someone who speaks her mind. Being opinionated is part of what the public seems to like about her or choose to accept about her, even if they don't agree with her."

WOW! She'll probably need intensive therapy to recover from stinging recriminations like that.

I would also like to point out the glaring differences between the audience responses to Hank's comments versus Ms. Sarandon's. The Fox and Friends panel who may lefties would call right of Rush Limbaugh were put off and obviously uncomfortable with Hank's comments. Ms. Sarandon's audience laughed and applauded.

Occupy Wall Street couldn't have a better supporter.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Trust-fund Moonbat on Video

WARNING: The young moonbat in this video uses some profane language. I know, I was shocked too!

Thanks BreitbartTV!

Make Mine Freedom: Required Viewing

Found this great cartoon from 1948 via Twitter on the NationJuggernaut blog. It should be required viewing for all ages! Keep in mind it was made over 70 years ago before the creation of the PC police. Enjoy...

Friday, October 14, 2011

Moonbats Invade the Heartland

As predicted, the Occupato Mafia (formerly Occupy Wall Street) has oozed its way into the heartland. This picture was taken outside the Bank of America building in Topeka, Kansas. One terrified onlooker reported, "It was horrible! Cars were crashing all over the place! Drivers laughing uncontrollably were unable to maintain control of their vehicles."

Calls to the governor's office were responded to with the statement "Who?" However; one unconfirmed source with the capitol police (actually, some guy on the corner who claimed he was with the capitol police as well as the CIA, NSA, and FBI) was quoted as saying, "We may request national guard assistance from the governor. Some of the heckling these people are receiving is getting pretty nasty. We are afraid that their delicate sensibilities may be irreparably harmed."

Stay tuned to SACSTW (Sahib and Crew Save the World, for new readers) for the latest updates to this fast-breaking story.

Earth to Mitt Romney- It's Our Money !!!!!

Is it just my imagination, or is there a GOP debate scheduled every night for the next 3 months?  Every media outlet in the country is sponsoring one, I hope both subscribers to Bloomberg TV enjoyed this week's installment.  Stay tuned for an announcement regarding the Sahib and the Crew Save the World GOP Presidential Debate coming soon!

On the serious side, it is easy for interested observers of these debates to get bogged down in the numbers, plans, promises, and other canned minutia that the candidates regurgitate at every opportunity.  I prefer to listen closely for insights into the core philosophy of the individual, rather than their grandiose plans that will most likely never see the light of day.   Reading the debate transcripts (this week's New Hampshire debate transcript is available here) is another way to gain a look behind the curtain and measure the true nature of a candidate.

From time to time, a candidate will let out a candid thought that can tell us what they really believe.  GOP front-runner Mitt Romney had just such a moment in this week's debate.  Romney was being questioned by fellow candidate Newt Gingrich why his tax plan called for a capital gains tax cut only for people under $200,000 in income.  Gingrich commented, "Now, as a businessman, you know that you actually lose economic effectiveness if you limit capital gains tax cuts only to people who don't get capital gains".

Towards the end of his response, Romney's conservative facade crumbled and he said this, "And so if I'm going to use precious dollars to reduce taxes, I want to focus on where the people are hurting the most, and that's the middle class..."

Mitt Romney is just another in a the long line of politicians who believe that taxpayer money "belongs" to the government, and must be "used" or "spent" to provide tax cuts.  Listen Mitt, my money is way more precious to me than it is you.  Instead of you "using" it to give me a tax cut, how about you just let me keep it in the first place.  IT'S NOT YOUR MONEY!!!!! 

Politicians on both sides of the aisle are constantly fretting about how the government will "pay for" some proposed tax cut.  Every one of them with that philosophy needs to be voted out at the first opportunity.  America needs legislators and a President who understand that every nickel they control belongs to an American taxpayer.  Notice you never hear any of them worrying about how taxpayers will "pay for" proposed tax increases.  They assume we will just tighten our belt while they let theirs out a few notches to accommodate their bloated bellies.  No more. 

Fortunately there was a candidate or two at that New Hampshire table who understands and more importantly believes that IT'S NOT THEIR MONEY.  Watch and listen to them closely over the next few weeks and you will be able to identify these true conservatives.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Monday, October 10, 2011

Hey Everybody, Putin is putting the band back together!

Vladimir Lenin

So way back in 1917, this Russian guy named Vlad wanted to unite Russia with some other places with funny names like the Ukraine and Belarus.  He was successful, and in 1922 the Soviet Union was born.  General hilarity then ensued for the next 69 years as the Soviets waged a Cold War against the United States, and a very hot war against their own citizens.  When Vlad died in 1924, he turned his little party over to his friend Joe.  Joe was a real hoot,  causing the deaths of somewhere between 10 and 60 million people before he was done in 1953.

Hitler's Nazis tried and failed to defeat the Soviet Union.  Unfortunately George Patton never got his chance to take on the Red Menace, one of the great strategic mistakes in the history of the United States.  Nope, it was left to a B movie actor from Illinois, a Polish priest, and an English lady to rid the world of the Soviet scourge.  In December 1991, the Soviet Union was declared dead.

Fast forward 20 years to the present.  Another Russian guy named Vlad wants to unify Russia and some other places with funny names like Belarus and Kazakhstan.  The former and soon to be current President of Russia, Vladimir Putin, thinks his "Eurasian Union" is a great idea and surely won't make American schoolchildren practice nuclear attack drills anytime soon.  In the article here, Putin is quoted as wanting to set "a more ambitious goal" and "achieve a higher integration level" for his Eurasian Union.

Vladimir Putin

Now you millenials out there may think I am overreacting, but pay heed to the Crew.  When former KGB strongmen talk about "ambitious goals", there is no such thing as overreacting.  Putin will reclaim the Russian presidency in March of 2012, and begin spreading the Russian sphere of influence again throughout eastern Europe.  Freedom lovers in the former Soviet satellite states should be very concerned.  Unfortunately, this time they don't have the moral strength and resolve of the actor, the priest, and the lady to buttress them against this new threat.

By the way, do you know what Vladimir Putin called the 1991 break-up of the Soviet Union, the most brutal and ruthless totalitarian regime in the history of man?  He called it "the greatest geo-political catastrophe of the 20th century".  Now that's comforting.

Friday, October 7, 2011

The Occupato Mafia - New Name for Occupy Wall St.

Occupy Wall Street is so boring. So I am recommending The Occupato Mafia! That's a name with mystery, danger, intrigue, and panache! Join me in lobbying (oh crap, I used the "L" word) for The Occupato Mafia.

And don't forget! They've got union thugs backing!

By the bye - Love the sign the young guy in the tie is holding. I've got a super secret fact for him. shhhhhhhhhh! Don't tell anyone else. You won't lose your job for having a voice. You'll lose your job..... FOR NOT GOING TO WORK MORON!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Moonbats Over Manhattan

As the leaves of summer assume the brilliant hues of fall, like the swallows returning to Capistrano, the moonbats have swarmed into Manhattan. As many of you may have heard by now, a loosely organized group calling themselves Occupy Wall Street has been protesting, oddly enough, Wall Street. Having spent last weekend immersed in a variety of sporting events, I was only vaguely aware of their protest on the Brooklyn Bridge. Fortunately, a number of my friends have drawn my attention to this burgeoning “movement”, so I decided to check them out. Here are a few conclusions I have drawn:

1. They are very angry about something. They are not entirely certain exactly what makes them angry, but something should be done about it.

2. They are a math challenged group. They apparently believe that their membership rolls encompass 99% of the American people.

3. They are a grammar, capitalization, and punctuation challenged group. One of their mottos must be, “When in doubt, use an apostrophe!”

4. They have an interesting definition of nonviolence. From their website, “We are using the revolutionary Arab Spring tactic to achieve our ends and encourage the use of nonviolence to maximize the safety of all participants.” The estimated death toll of this wonderfully nonviolent model (according to the Arab Spring article to which they linked!) is between 30,000 and 38,000 people killed.

5. Personal hygiene is not a problem for them. (The rest of Manhattan perhaps, but not them.)

I really feel bad for them, so I have decided to help them out with a simple single plank platform (Provided in my own estimation of their vernacular):

1. Greedy People Suck! - You know, like, that really old dude with the really hot younger wife that played in that movie about Wall Street, you know, Wall Street? You know, he was like totally wrong. Greed isn’t good. Greed sucks! You know, like, since greed really sucks (Get ready for the jump in logic. I hope it isn’t too much for them.) and some people are like greedy? So you know, like, greedy people must suck!

Whew! I hope that doesn’t overtax their Starbucks drinking, texting, tweeting, facebooking, entitled little brains. After a few days of letting that percolate in the mush left behind by the indoctrination of our wonderfully unbiased institutes of higher learning, I may help them out by defining what constitutes a greedy person.

Until that time dear readers, I will leave you with a little hint: Almost all greedy people have one thing in common…. Can you guess what it is? An autographed SACSTW (Sahib and Crew Save the World) t-shirt to the first commenter with the correct guess!

Article first published as Moonbats Over Manhattan on Technorati.

Ironic Pictures of the Day

You can't afford a lobbyist, but apparently you can afford smartphones, video equipment, a slew of Macbooks and most interestingly: NOT HAVING TO WORK

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Don't Worry Hank, I Got Your Back.

First a disclaimer-  I speak solely for myself, but suspect that Sahib would concur.  Few if any entertainers have figured larger in our lives than Hank Williams, Jr.  Still my single all-time favorite recording artist of any genre.  Now, on to the news.

Ole Bocephus got himself in a little bit of a pickle yesterday morning.  Appearing on Fox and Friends to discuss national politics (yeah, that didn't make much sense to me either), Hank expressed his disgust at the Boehner-Obama golf outing earlier this year.  He said "It'd be like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu".  He then continued by referring to President Obama and Vice-President Biden as "the enemy".  That set the Fox anchors back on their heels, particularly Gretchen Carlson.  After the interview ended, she said "We disavow any of those comments or analogies he made.  At least I'm going to say that."

Do me a favor, check out the video of the interview here.  I'll wait.  Now let's examine Hank's words a little closer.  He was obviously disgusted that Speaker Boehner would go on a golf outing with Dear Leader.  His comparison was between the actual event and a hypothetical event (a golf outing between Hitler and Benjamin Netanyahu).  He wasn't comparing the PARTICIPANTS of the events, but rather the events themselves.  If you, like Gretchen Carlson, think Hank was directly comparing Obama to Hitler, then you must also think he was directly comparing John Boehner to Benjamin Netanyahu.  That doesn't seem to make much sense, even for Gretchen.  In the immortal words of Maha Rushi, "words mean things". 

Today's headlines are chock full of references to Hank comparing Dear Leader to Hitler.  Predictably, ESPN immediately cut Hank's classic opening song and video from last night's Monday Night Football telecast.  Of course ESPN has a long history of overreacting to comments made by conservative white men about liberal black men.  Ask Rush Limbaugh.  Of course as that turned out, Rush was right.  Donovan McNabb is and always has been tremendously overrated as an NFL quarterback.  But I digress.

What about Hank calling Dear Leader and his acolyte "the enemy"?  Here is the dirty little secret that even many conservatives are unwilling to acknowledge.  Hank is right.  If you believe in individual liberties, freedom from governmental intrusion, and personal responsibility, then Obama and every other liberal statist like him IS the enemy.  The sooner we conservatives get on board with that idea, the sooner we can get Obama's secular progressivism swept onto the "ash heap of history". 

For all you Bocephus fans concerned about the abuse Hank is taking from ESPN and the politically correct crowd, I wouldn't fret.  After all, a country boy can survive.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Beware the Deadly Third-hand Smoke!

The idea for this post began as many of them do. I was glancing through the daily news headlines on the Internet and went HUH? This gem on Fox News caught my eye, “Louisiana Hospital to Ban Odor of Smoke on Workers’ Clothes”. Now many businesses have banned smoking in the workplace, even on breaks, but this is the first time I have heard of employees not being allowed to work because their clothing smelled like smoke. I thought, gee, that’s kind of harsh and continued to read. I found this quote. “Hospital officials are aiming to reduce patients' and employees' exposure to toxins that linger in fabrics from a recently burned cigarette, also known as third-hand smoke, Lauve said. Such toxins present a special danger for the developing brains of infants and small children.”

OH NO! More mush-brained toddlers that will require hermetically sealed bubble wrap!* We have only recently escaped the horrible dangers presented by second-hand smoke, and now we have third-hand smoke to worry about? Surely fourth and fifth-hand smoke cannot be far behind. Will this nefarious evil never stop?

Prepared to race to my children’s schools and drag them to safety due to the likelihood that at least one of their teachers had smoked a cigarette sometime in the last 20 years, I did a little quick research on the interwebs. Several bastions of journalistic integrity had articles concerning this new pernicious phenomenon. The New York Times, MSNBC, the Today Show, and even the Scientific American ran stories about this devastating threat. Finally, I read something that chilled me to the very center of my soul… “Third Hand smoke contains polonium-210, the highly radioactive carcinogen that was used to murder former Russian spy Alexander V. Litvinenko in 2006.” HOLY CRAP! Now I have to stop by Home Depot on the way to the boys’ schools and pick up a friggin’ Geiger counter! (Anyone know what size batteries they take?)

Then years of logical and rational thinking slithered their way through my brain along with a healthy dose of skepticism. Wait a minute… All these articles reference the same guy’s study. Okayyyyyyy… So what did this seminal work measure? Did the study’s author perform double-blind experiments involving thousands of participants? Did he take thousands of samples and run them through a mass spectrometer? NO! The honorable Dr. Jonathan P. Winickoff went even bigger and better. He did (drum roll please) a PHONE SURVEY! He called people and asked them if they believed third-hand smoke is harmful. Where is this guy’s Nobel Prize for Medicine? He should be our next Surgeon General.

Now to be honest, I don’t smoke and kind of like being able visit my wife at the bowling alley (NO COMMENTS PLEASE!) without coming out smelling like a cigarette, but people COME ON! When will you stop believing the swill you get fed every day by the sensationalist media and start thinking for yourselves? Kids being born with brain defects because their moms were around someone who smoked in the car on the way to work? Exercise your critical thinking skills please. This is simply another thinly veiled attempt to force more people to quit smoking. Look for more third-hand smoking rules and regulations soon coming to a town near you.**

Besides, if as a race humans are that susceptible environmental hazards, I’m thinking cockroaches might deserve to be at the top of the food chain.

*For more information about hermetically sealed and bubble wrapped children, check out the earlier post "Raising a Nation of Mush-brained Wusses".

**Has anyone given any thought to smoking gulags? I hear there is lots of space in Montana.