Thursday, December 29, 2011

Harry Reid's Hit Movies!

We discussed our esteemed vice president and attorney general last week.  So this week, the SACSTW Entertainment department brings you the biggest blockbusters of senate majority leader "Dingy" Harry Reid's illustrious career.  Hopefully, you didn't suffer as much through them as we did...

Over the years, Harry got a bigger gun and a bigger pay day!

Harry joined in an unholy partnership with Princess Pelosi.  No, I'm not insinuating Princess Pelosi is the love interest as an orangutan.  You people have sick minds!  She plays the Sandra Locke character...

Finally, they bring our Dear Leader into the picture...

As the poster says, hopefully this all ends in November 2012 and Harry is left all alone as senate minority leader.  (I realize that Harry Reid is not up for reelection in 2012, but his partners in crime are.)

Monday, December 26, 2011

Monday Musings With The Crew

Let's dive right in to this post-holiday edition of MM.......

  • The national media continues its attempts to keep Barack Obama from appearing to be an inane self aggrandizer, sort of.  In his recent interview with 60 minutes on CBS, Obama claimed to be the 4th best president, right behind Johnson (LBJ not Andrew), Lincoln, and FDR.  CBS did not air that portion of the interview on the broadcast, but did post the interview in its entirety on its website.  Check this out...

There are so many things wrong with this I really don't know where to start.  First off, how about mentioning LBJ and Lincoln in the same sentence.  Although, I suppose they did both get us into a civil war.  Unfortunately, LBJ's was in Vietnam.  Now if Obama thinks he is only behind those 3 Presidents, then he puts himself ahead of such slackers as Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Truman, Kennedy, and Reagan.  Really, the ego of this guy is just remarkable.  What great foreign policy and legislative achievements is he talking about?  

Thank God the TSA was on the ball... think of the mayhem
this could have caused mid-flight!

  • Earlier this month, TSA screeners in Norfolk, Virginia pulled a teenage girl out of line for interrogation due to the gun she was carrying.  Well, to be honest she wasn't carrying a gun.  She was carrying a purse.  A Western-style purse.  With an image of a revolver on the side of it.  Seriously.  Here is the purse......   

  • This was the scene last week at an Indiana mall......

No, those shoppers were not trampling each other and tearing doors from hinges to escape a crazed gunman, poison gas, or marauding grizzly bears.  They were breaking IN to the mall to buy $180 sneakers.  Guess what many of them will be doing next November?  That's right, voting for President of the United States.  God help us.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Gender Bending Shocker in Congress!

All this time, we thought that Congressman Frank (D-MA) pronounced his first name "Bawney" due to his Boston area accent.  New evidence this week suggests that perhaps the congressman has been pronouncing his actual first name, "Bonnie", correctly from the start.

If "his" first name is Bonnie, and "he" has a sexual preference for men, could "he" maybe in fact be...."she"?

 I know, I know, you think the Crew has finally gone off the rails for good with this one.  Not so fast, my tinfoil hat brethren!  I mentioned new evidence that has recently been, ahem, revealed about Congressman Frank.  Let's go directly to the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives..................
Female First Name-  Check
Sexual Preference for Men- Check
Great Rack- Check

Ah Winnie,
 the stories you could tell!

For months, DNA researchers at SACSTW have been working around the clock to solve this mystery once and for all.  Using samples obtained from the Congressional cloakroom, our scientists have determined that Congressman Frank is the illegitimate daughter of Winston Churchill and Aunt Bea.  Other reports have suggested that Congressman Frank was named in honor of Aunt Beas's OTHER secret lover, Deputy Barney Fife.  These reports remain unsubstantiated at presstime.

Sorry Barney, I just had to have a little more fun with you before you sail off into the sunset.  I love you man!  Well, I don't love you like that you know.....I mean geez.....not that there's anything wrong with forget it.  Nice moobs.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Race Card Is The Real "Last Refuge of a Scoundrel"

Here is a quiz brought to you by the Obama administration.....
Which of the following issues is the real reason that Obama Attorney General Eric Holder is under fire from the right?  Choose all that apply.
  1. Holder's involvement in the Clinton Admininistration's last minute pardon of Democrat contributor and fugitive tax evader Marc Rich.
  2. Holder recommended clemency for 16 members of the terrorist organizations FALN and Machateros as Clinton's Deputy Attorney General in 1999.
  3. In 2008, Holder urged the Supreme Court to uphold the unconstitutional Washington DC handgun ban in D.C. v Heller, claiming that the Second Amendment does not protect an individual's right to keep and bear arms outside of a state run militia.
  4. Holder gave a speech on February 18th, 2009 in which he proclaimed "the United States is a nation of cowards" when it comes to racial relations.
  5. In May of 2009, Holder declined to pursue the case against members of the New Black Panther Party for voter intimidation during the 2008 election, citing "a lack of evidence".  (personal note-  please, oh please let the New Black Panther Party show up at my polling place in November of 2012)
  6. In November of 2009, Holder announced plans to bring 9/11 conspirators to New York for trial in the U.S. criminal court system.
  7. Agents of Mr. Holder's Department of Justice supplied weapons to drug traffickers, weapons that have been used in hundreds of violent crimes, including the December 2010 murder of U.S. Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry.
  8. He's sueing the state of Arizona because they dare to try and take action against the overwhelming flood of illegal immigration that the Obama Administration has failed to address.
  9. He opposes any attempts to reduce voter fraud through voter ID measures.
  10. He's black.
Let's let Attorney General Holder give us the answer, from a Sunday NY Times article by Charlie Savage...

In the interview, Mr. Holder offered a glimpse of how he viewed the criticism. He said he thought some critics — like Senator Lindsey Graham, a South Carolina Republican who favors allowing the military to handle terrorism suspects over the criminal justice system — are expressing “good faith” arguments about their policy disagreements.
But Mr. Holder contended that many of his other critics — not only elected Republicans but also a broader universe of conservative commentators and bloggers — were instead playing “Washington gotcha” games, portraying them as frequently “conflating things, conveniently leaving some stuff out, construing things to make it seem not quite what it was” to paint him and other department figures in the worst possible light.
Of that group of critics, Mr. Holder said he believed that a few — the “more extreme segment” — were motivated by animus against Mr. Obama and that he served as a stand-in for him. “This is a way to get at the president because of the way I can be identified with him,” he said, “both due to the nature of our relationship and, you know, the fact that we’re both African-American.”  (emphasis is mine)
Is it Stedman, is it the Attorney General?
  I don't think even Oprah  knows for sure!
Yep, you're right Mr. Holder.  All us crackers out here would be just fine with items 1-9 on the above list, if only you were white.  In the fine tradition of Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and Cornel West, Attorney General Holder is carving out a place of his own in the race-baiter hall of fame.  Do us all a favor, resign your office immediately and go back to just squiring Oprah around town.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

This Guy is Really our Vice President?

Joe pulling another gem from his brain
While or president is preparing to vacation (at a 4 million dollar taxpayer expense) in Asia (Hawaii, the 58th or 59th state), the attention of Sahib and Crew turns to our esteemed vice president and quote machine, Joe Biden.

After his most recent pearl of wisdom, "The Taliban per se is not our enemy", I have only one question.  Are you kidding me!?  OK, make that two questions.  How did anyone vote for a presidential ticket that included this moron?  I mourn the lack of logic and reason in this country.  This guy is a heart-beat from the presidency!  The libs were nervous about the possibility of Dan Quayle becoming president?  Dan Quayle is Winston Churchill compared to this guy.

To give our lib friends a comparison they might understand, take the craziest pieces of Ross Perot and Ron Paul, mix in the moral laxness of Spiro Agnew, and add the combined intelligence of Maxine Waters and a box of rocks.  The results would be something slightly less disturbing than Joe Biden.  Just in case you have forgotten, here are a few Joe Biden "highlights":

  • His unabashed plagiarism of Prime Minister candidate Neil Kinnock's entire life along with speeches from Robert Kennedy and Hubert Humphrey.
  • "Our next president... Barack America!"
  • "Stand up Chuck, let em see ya!"  to Senator Chuck Graham who is in a wheelchair.
  • "Look, John's plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle-class, and it happens to be, as Barack say, a three-letter word, jobs. J O B S, jobs" 
  • His assertion that if the president's latest "jobs" plan wasn't passed that there would be an increase in rapes and murders.
  • "When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened." 
  • "You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.... I'm not joking."
  • And of course, the aforementioned "The Taliban per se is not our enemy."
Come on America!  You know better and we can DO better than this next year.  In 2012, lets kick our Dear Leader and his court jester to the curb.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Monday Musings With The Crew

Another addition to the "List of Tyrants who have croaked
 since SACSTW came on the scene"
Kim Part 3 looks like the voice of reason,
doesn't he?

  • Not only is Kim Jong ill, he's dead.  After continuing his father's legacy of brutality and oppression for 17 years, the ruler of North Korea has died.  Reports indicate he suffered a heart attack on Dec. 17th, and died shortly therafter. The designated successor is Kim Jong il's son, Kim Jong Un.   In a gesture surely meant to reassure neighboring South Korea that regime change will be peaceful and non-threatening, North Korea test-fired short range missiles off its eastern coast yesterday.  I feel better already!  
  • Here's another story about good samaritans paying off layaway accounts for holiday shoppers.  Thanks to Sahib for bringing this story to the attention of the SACSTW community.
  • The Green Bay Packers dreams of an undefeated season and their 19 game winning streak died on the turf at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City.  Fourteen point underdogs going in to the game, the KC Chiefs authored the biggest upset of the NFL season with the assistance of an actual NFL coach and a professional quarterback.  
  • By now you have heard that the National Transportation and Safety Board (NTSB) has called for a nationwide ban on all usage of "portable electronic devices" while driving.  Specifically aimed at cell phones, this ban would include texting, voice calling, and even use of hands-free equipment.  While the Crew agrees that distracted driving is a threat to us all, this falls under the category of "you can't fix stupid" (with apologies to Ron White).  Look for bans of other driving distractions to soon follow, mascara, Egg McMuffins, billboards for strip clubs, and daredevil squirrels.  By the way, how would this ban affect those who are actually driving a "portable electronic device"?  Both Chevy Volt owners want to know.  For more information on distracted driving, readers are directed to P.J. O'Rourke's classic essay "How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink!".
  • Merry ChristmaHanuKwanzakah to all!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Operation Santa's Sleigh-Away

Join Sahib and the Crew in Operation Santa's Sleigh-Away! According to a Washington Post article anonymous Santas are paying off layaway items at K-Mart and other chain stores this Christmastime.  Stores in Nebraska, Michigan, Montana, Iowa, Missouri, and Indiana are reporting people have been paying down toys and items for young children that their parents have placed on layaway.

Devoted readers, we all can make a difference this year at Christmas no matter how small or how large a contribution you can make.  According to Karl Graff the assistant K-Mart manager in Omaha, one woman broke into tears when he called her to tell her about the help. "She wasn't sure she was going to be able to pay off their layaway and was afraid their kids weren't going to have anything for Christmas."  Graff said, "You know, 50 bucks may not sound like a lot, but I tell you what, at the right time, it may as well be million dollars for some people."

Last week I saw first-hand how big an impact small efforts can make.  A program in which I participate built and gave away 27 bicycles to local Boys and Girls Club programs.  The looks in the children's eyes as they were wheeling their bikes to the bus was something I'll never forget.

We have a week left before Christmas!  If you can, go down to your local K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Target, or any other store that has a layaway program.  Ask about layaway items that have toys or items for children and offer to pay down the layaway.  One caveat, ask about the store policy before completely paying off items.  You may want to pay it down to a couple of dollars so that it is not closed out.

We can make a difference!  Please help if you can and share this with your friends and family.  Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and yours from Sahib and the Crew!

Friday, December 16, 2011

The Company You Keep......

One way to evaluate a President is by examining those he surrounds himself with, those he turns to for counsel, those he goes out of his way to support.  Let's turn that lens towards Barack Hussein Obama.

In March 2010, Jon Corzine became the CEO of MF Global, one of those gigantic brokerage firms that all the Moonbats were squawking about before it got cold outside.  20 months later, on Oct.31 2011, MF Global filed the 8th largest bankruptcy in U.S. history.  Oh and by the way, under Corzine's leadership approximately 1.2 billion dollars belonging to MF Global clients mysteriously "disappeared" after being comingled with company funds in violation of federal law.  At his recent appearance before Congress on the matter, Corzine meekly mumbled "I don't know what happened to the money".  

I bet the name Corzine is starting to ring some bells, right?  Didn't he used to be some big shot Democrat politician you ask?  Why yes Grasshopper, you are correct.  A former U.S. Senator (D-NJ) and former governor of New Jersey, Corzine was swept out of office in 2009 by Republican Chris Christie.  So, after driving the state of New Jersey into the ditch (literally), Corzine's brilliance led MF Global into ignominious bankruptcy and Congressional hearings within 20 months.  

What in the world does this have to do with Dear Leader?  I think I'll just let the administration speak for itself......

Ok, Ok, that is just a President working to keep a Democrat governor in office.  That doesn't mean Obama thinks Corzine is all that, right?   Not so fast ......

Is there any wonder that Dear Leader and his merry band of progressives has no idea how to get the U.S. economy back on track?  I wonder if any of the MF Global customers that lost over a billion dollars under Corzine's stewardship would agree that he is "the smartest guy in terms of the economy and finance".  Barack Hussein Obama and the company he keeps has driven our country to the very brink of disaster.  Time for a grown up to take the wheel.  Let's just pray it's not too late.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

President Barack Ospama, Internet Stalker

You know folks, when Sahib and I started SACSTW 4 months ago, I worried that finding enough stories that inspired a blog post might be tough.  Yeah, not so much.  The Obama administration is the gift that just keeps giving.  

Since you are reading an internet blog, I'm guessing you are familiar with a little thing called email spam.  All of us  find our inboxes and spam folders choked to the gills with unwanted and unsolicited emails, now the most powerful man on the planet is piling on.

The 2012 Obama campaign is spooling up their online donation push at  Should you feel compelled to make an online donation, you will be confronted with this little gem on the President's website:

Who inspires you to give?
This holiday season, we're giving you a chance to have a little fun at the expense of a Republican in your life by letting them know they inspired you to make a donation to the Obama campaign.
Simply enter their name and email address below. Then, we'll send them a message letting them know they inspired you to donate. (Don't worry—we won't hold on to any of their information.)
Thank you for supporting this campaign, and happy holidays.

That's right freedom lovers,  Barack Ospama wants donors to give your email address to his campaign, so he can prank you with a snarky, unwanted, and unsolicited email.  Very dignified and fitting for the man who occupies the office of Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln.  But have no fear conspiracy theorists, Ospama promises not to hold on to any of your information.  All of you who believe that, please turn your tinfoil hat in at the door.  It's painfully obvious that our president is nothing but a spiteful and petulant child, thumbing his nose and shouting "nana nana booboo" at those who disagree with his policies.  It's pathetic and disgusting. 

Monday, December 12, 2011

Barack Hussein Obama Mexican Border Crossing

I guess Mel Brooks was prescient!

Maybe we could use the money to fund some new government program!

Monday Musings With The Crew

Once more, into the breech......

  • How bad are the Kansas City Chiefs?  Try this little experiment.  Stand up.  Take 5 long steps.  You have now traveled further than the Kansas City offense did in the entire first half yesterday against the New York Jets.  LATE BREAKING UPDATE:  Minutes after this post was published, the Chiefs fired head coach Todd Haley.  The influence of SACSTW knows no bounds!
I'm guessing he's Spanky
  • Al Sharpton's not-for-profit (insert smirk here) National Action Network is in serious financial trouble.  NAN owes over $880,000 in federal payroll taxes.  They also owe over $200,000 to one of Sharpton's for profit firms, Bo-Spanky Consulting.  Let me write that again..... Bo-Spanky Consulting. Almost as much fun to write as it is to say.  I am calling for an immediate investigation into the true leadership of this consulting firm, anything named Bo-Spanky has to have Barney Frank involved somehow.  

Sorry little fella, don't take it personally
  • The Patriot Freedom Alliance is the Tea Party organization in Hutchinson, Kansas.  They have run afoul of the race card in the last few days.  A cartoon (since removed) on their website compared a skunk to Barack Obama, saying that like the President, the skunk is "half-black, half-white, and everything it does stinks".  The local NAACP predictably termed the cartoon as racist and offensive.  The Crew wonders how much longer an organization with the words "Colored People" in its title will be allowed to be the arbiter of racism.  Actually, I agree that the cartoon was offensive and degrading.... to skunks.

  • Looks like the Obama administration is deadly serious about securing our southern border.  After all, why else would the federal government open an unmanned border crossing point?  That is exactly what they want to do in Big Bend National Park so the residents of the tiny Mexican town of Boquillas del Carmen don't have to travel the 240 miles to the nearest legal entry point.  Here is how it will work..... note that this requires a significant suspension of disbelief!  Border crossers using the "kiosk" will scan their documents in and talk to a Customs officer who will be at least 100 miles away.  Attention Dear Leader, kiosks are for selling sunglasses in the mall.  Gun towers and German Shepherds are for border crossings.

  • A large Christmas light display has a neighbor angry, calling the display "psychological warfare".  No, this doesn't involve U.S. public schools, state courthouses, or any of the other places Christmas lights usually run afoul of the left.  This time, it's Kim Jong-il and his merry band of North Korean gangsters protesting a South Korean Christmas light display about 2 miles from the border with North Korea.  North Korea's official website decried the display as "a mean attempt for psychological warfare", and threatened retaliatory gunfire if the lights are actually switched on.  Geez, who knew?  All that angst about North Korea's military build-up and all we had to do was string up some pretty lights!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Chuck Woolery: Don't Cut Critical Programs!

Great patriot Chuck Woolery examines government programs we just can't afford to cut!  We have to keep those Chinese hookers sober! Required viewing...

If not chairman of the Fed, how about Newt's Chief of Staff?

Monday, December 5, 2011

Weekend Musings with the Crew

With apologies to Jack Handey, it's time for another edition of Weekend Musings....

  • A multi-car pileup on a Japanese expressway involved 8 Ferraris, 1 Lamborghini, and several Mercedes, resulting in the most costly car accident of all time.  What is still not clear is why so many Democratic congressmen were driving together along the Japanese highway.  

  • NBC breathlessly announced that Madonna would provide the halftime entertainment at the Super Bowl.  Scientists at NBC parent company GE are hard at work on the time machine that will be required to transport Super Bowl viewers back 15 years to when Madonna was relevant.  The Crew expects a significant "wardrobe malfunction" as part of the hoopla.

  • A 7 year old Boston boy is being charged with sexual harassment after he allegedly punched another boy in the groin.  His mother claims he acted in self defense after the other boy choked him while they were on the school bus.  As any of us males who have received such a sack tap can attest, there is nothing sexual about it.  In a related story, a 9 year old North Carolina student was suspended for sexual harassment as well.  His dastardly deed..... calling his teacher "cute".  Now, when I was 9, had I called my teacher cute I would not have been suspended for sexual harassment.  Rather, I would have been immediately referred to the local optometrist for a thorough vision evaluation.  Now, had I used the phrase "gnarly old hag".........

  • A high school principal in New York is under fire for this picture that was posted on her Facebook page.....the principal is the one on the right.   :))
Oh those wacky school administrators!