Monday, November 28, 2011

Chuck Woolery: A Great Patriot!

Chuck assists Sahib and the Crew in their mission to Save the World!

When Newt is president, my vote is Chuck Woolery for Chairman of the Fed!

A Long, Thoughtful Look Back At The First 100 Days

SACSTW recently oberved its 100th day of existence.  During the first few days, Sahib and I wondered if the two of us would be the only readers.  As of today, SACSTW has reached thousands of readers spread across 24 countries and 5 continents.  From Latvia to Brazil, Norway to Australia, SACSTW is spreading across the globe like a Justin Bieber Youtube video.  Sahib and I are proud of what SACSTW has become, and I am most proud that it took over 100 days for Justin Bieber to be mentioned in these pages! (I (Sahib) am most proud that we haven't done one 10,000th of the damage to the country that our Dear Leader did in his first 100 days.)

Sahib and I are political junkies, but what we love even more is humor.  We hope you have laughed along with us as we lampoon and parody our way through the political landscape of Obamerica.  Remember, even in the silliest of satire there are lessons to be learned, points to be made.  All opinions are welcome here, share yours with the world by commenting on the blog, or email us at  Most of all continue to be a part of the SACSTW community by visiting regularly and telling your friends about the great time to be had at Sahib and the Crew Save The World!


Saturday, November 26, 2011

Monitor This Governor Brownback!


Kansas Department of Child Indoctrination (Education)

Governor’s Ministry of Adolescent Oversight-Internet Bureau
The KDCI/GMAO is pleased to announce today that it has uncovered and foiled a nefarious plot to disparage and ridicule Dear Governor Brownback.  The scheme was hatched at the Shawnee Mission East High School chapter of the KDCI and spearheaded by Student-Citizen Emma Sullivan.  At a Youth In Government meeting in the glorious capitol city of Topeka,  Student-Citizen Sullivan willfully and without regard for Dear Governor’s feelings sent the following Tweet…”Just made mean comments at gov. brownback and told him he sucked, in person #heblowsalot”. 

Fortunately for Dear Governor, the Tweet Detection Section of the Ministry of Adolescent Oversight immediately sprang into action.  The offending Student-Citizen was verbally corrected by SME Principal Karl Krawitz in his office for approximately one hour.  She was advised that her Tweet had embarrassed the SME chapter of KDCI Bureau 512, and “damage control” was needed with the office of Dear Governor.  Principal-Minister Krawitz is instructing Sullivan on the proper points to cover in her written apology to Dear Governor.  Leaders of the Kansas Department of Child Indoctrination are pleased that this vicious attack on Dear Governor was so promptly detected and effective counter-measures so quickly deployed.  KDCI is expected to award Sherienne Jones-Sontag, director of the Governor’s Ministry of Adolescent Oversight, with the prestigious Orwell Award for excellence in citizen monitoring. 

SACSTW Analysis:

The sanitized version of this story appeared on the front page of the Kansas City Star on Thanksgiving Day.  The student involved is an 18 year old, self-described liberal senior at Shawnee Mission East High School.  Although her tweet claimed she had made comments directly to Governor Brownback, no such verbal comments were made.  Let’s get a few points straight here:

   1.  Governor Sam Brownback is a conservative Republican

   2.  The Crew is a conservative Republican

   3.  Emma Sullivan is a liberal student  at Shawnee Mission       East High School

   4.  The Crew is a conservative graduate of Shawnee Mission East High School

   5.  Sam Brownback sucks

Freedom-loving Kansans of all political stripes should be horrified and disgusted that Sam Brownback is spending their tax monies (OPM) monitoring the internet for nasty comments about himself.  Here is a sentence from the Star story that is one the most chilling things I have ever read:

Brownback’s director of communication wasn’t amused when the tweet was spotted during the routine daily monitoring of comments on Twitter and Facebook mentioning the governor’s name.

 Guess what Governor Brownback?  I’m not amused that you have state employees conducting “routine daily monitoring” of the Internet for people making snarky comments about you.  Perhaps you should re-familiarize yourself with the First Amendment.  Yeah, yeah, I know.  The First Amendment was written to apply to the federal government.  Still, I’d like to think that you as a former U.S. Senator would agree with the quaint little principle of free speech.
I am guessing that as a 47 year old male conservative, I disagree with about 99.9% of what an 18 year old liberal female says.  What I do agree with is her right to voice her opinion, even if her opinion is that a male conservative “sucks”.  As an SME grad, I am truly embarrassed by the school principal’s heavy-handed response, and Principal Karl Krawitz should be the one apologizing.  By the way, why do I have this slightly queasy, uneasy feeling about guys named Carl who spell their name with a “K”?  But I digress.  The student (a legal adult by the way) committed no crime, and threatened no violence.  She expressed a POLITICAL opinion to which the state of Kansas and the Shawnee Mission East High School principal took exception.  That my friends is a very slippery slope indeed.  I attended class in the Shawnee Mission School District from kindergarten through high school.  I have long thought it to be one of the very finest public school districts in the country, and have resisted the concept that public schools are indeed “Departments of Indoctrination”.  Now I am not so sure.  It is a sad day for this Shawnee Mission East Lancer. 

As always we would love your comments on this issue below!  Or send them to

Monday, November 21, 2011

Palestinian State? Just Say No!

The whole world seems to think a Palestinian state is just a hunky dory idea.  WRONG!

Don't believe me?  Follow along with me in this alternate US History lesson:

  • 1776 -  UN creates the United States consisting of modern day states of Oregon, Nevada, Idaho, Utah, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, and New Mexico.  The US declares statehood.  The next day, Canada, Mexico, Great Britain, Japan, and France declare war on the US. 
  • 1778 - The US kicks everyone's butt.  The world is pissed.
  • 1812 - Canada, Mexico, and Great Britain declare war on the US again.
  • 1814 - The US kicks butt again, but this time says to the world "screw you!" and takes California, Washington, and everything east of the Mississippi to the eastern seaboard.  The world is pissed again.
  • 1848 - The people living on the eastern seaboard and in California decide they need their own country too.  Nobody listens or cares.
  • 1850 - Canada and Mexico launch a surprise attack on the US on Christmas day. The US drives to Mexico City.  The world is pissed and says "Stop!"  Inexplicably the US does.
  • 1870 - The US gives everything back to Mexico in exchange for a promise that we won't kick their butts again.  The people of the eastern seaboard and California start shooting at us with cannons and sending donkey carts loaded with TNT to blow up our towns, schools, and churches.  The world cheers.
  • 1871 to 2008 - The world decides that we are horrible people because we take umbrage that the people of the eastern seaboard and California continue to murder our citizens.
  • 2008 to Present - The US says "OK, if you stop shooting cannon balls at us and sending donkey carts loaded with TNT to blow up our towns, schools, and churches, we'll agree to you having your own country."  
  • What do you think the US should do?
Let's get a couple of things straight:  
  1. The rest of the Arab world doesn't give a diddly squat about the Palestinians. They hate Jews and by extension, Israel.  The Arab world cared nothing of the "Palestinian" people until Israel kept kicking their asses every time they attacked Israel. The Palestinians are a convenient excuse to distract the Arab people from their ruling despots.
  2. There are no "Palestinian" people.  In the history of the world, there has never been a Palestine. They are people who lived in "Trans-Jordan", the 75% of the Palestine Mandate carved out for the "Palestinian" people.  Something conveniently forgotten by the world and the lefties in the US. 
The moral of this story is that there will be no peace in the Middle East until Israel no longer exists.  Israel can make concession after concession, but as long as they control one square foot of land in the Middle East, there will be no peace.  If you believe otherwise, you are delusional or intentionally obtuse.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Justin Timberlake versus Suffolk University Law School

A couple interesting and conflicting viewpoints on the U.S. military surfaced in the last few days.

 First up is former Mousketeer and current actor/singer/superstar Justin Timberlake.  By now you probably know the story.  Last summer 23 year old Marine Cpl. Kelsey De Santis posted a Youtube video asking Timberlake to attend the Marine Corps Ball in November.  Not only did Timberlake accept the invitation, he held up his end of the agreement and attended the ball with Cpl. De Santis in Washington, DC last week.  While De Santis and her Corps colleagues were understandably stoked about the superstar's attendance, Timberlake's thoughts on the evening were remarkable and inspiring.  On his website, Timberlake posted a beautifully written article about his experience.  In part he said this: 
“It was a surreal moment to be in that room with so many of our great Marines who have such a different type of connection to those stories. One that we who don’t serve will NEVER understand. It was familial. It was like they were listening to their own blood brothers. I glanced around the room at young men and women, spouses and soldiers… At kids way beyond their years, really… All so deeply entwined. Not just by battle, even though we who have never endured anything remotely close to those experiences and have NO position to comment on… But, by having such life changing experiences through them and to not ever waver in their love and respect for our homeland. That’s what I saw. A faith in us that has been tested time and time again. And, through it all, NEVER a drop of doubt.”

Please go to Timberlake's website to read the entire post.  I for one am not predisposed to appreciate boy band singers, but Justin Timberlake has grown up just fine.  As anyone who has seen his musical shorts with Andy Samberg knows, Timberlake is not just a great singer, but hysterically funny as well.  Mega-talented, self-deprecating, and greatly appreciative of the freedoms and opportunities afforded by our great country, Timberlake is the real deal.  Bravo Justin!

Next up is Suffolk University (Mass.) Law School professor Michael Avery.  Avery responded to a campus wide drive for care packages to send to overseas troops this way in an email:   I think it is shameful that it is perceived as legitimate to solicit in an academic institution for support for men and women who have gone overseas to kill other human beings

This is what your tuition payments are going for parents!  Professor Avery and his secular-progressive, anti-America colleagues are spoon feeding their vitriol to your kids on your dime.  Guess what the result is?  Moonbat city!

Professor Avery, you should be on your knees every night giving thanks that there are people like Corporal De Santis willing to put their life on the line to protect you and your liberal cronies from the evildoers in our world.  You sir, are the very definition of shameful.  How does it feel to be outclassed as a man by a Mouseketeer?

Let me know what you think about this at

Email Sahib and the Crew!

Dear reader,
We at SACSTW greatly value input and feedback from our readers.  You can share those thoughts with the entire SACSTW community by commenting on posts, now you can also email us at   We would like to hear how you found SACSTW, where you are located, any topics you would like to see covered, jokes, gripes, rants, etc.  We need readers in Africa, so heck, we would even welcome a couple Nigerian scam emails!  Thanks for your continued interest in SACSTW!

Monday, November 14, 2011

San Fran Judge: US Flag Equivalent to Confederate Flag


Not OK

According to Chief U.S. District Judge James Ware in the People’s Republic of San Francisco, wearing an American flag in an AMERICAN high school is racially incendiary and thus is not protected by the first amendment.

For those of you not familiar with the story, several “Anglo” students wore shirts with American flags on them on Cinco de Mayo.  They were threatened with suspension and sent home when they refused to change.  This was supposedly to protect them from the “Mexican-American” students.  (The use of Anglo and Mexican-American qualifiers was the judge’s, not mine.) Here is a link to the original story on Fox News.  My favorite quote from the original story was this doozy,  “Freshman Laura Ponce, who had a Mexican flag painted on her face and chest, told the Morgan Hill Times that Cinco de Mayo is the ‘only day’ Mexican-American students can show their national pride.”   I would respectfully suggest to Miss Ponce, that as a “Mexican-American”, you would show your “national pride” by painting an American flag on your face and chest.

Back to what is sure to be a hallmark of jurisprudence, Judge Ware’s decision…

As reported by the San Francisco Chronicle, the lawsuit filed by the students “accused school officials of violating the standard that the Supreme Court set in 1969 when it upheld students' right to wear black armbands to class, in a silent protest against the Vietnam War, and said schools can suppress student expression only when it threatens to disrupt the educational process.”  But Judge Ware had a response; he said “post-1969 rulings by federal courts have deferred to school officials' conclusions that certain types of student expression could endanger the speakers - for example, decisions by three appellate courts upholding bans on the Confederate flag in schools with histories of racial tension.”  So according to Judge Ware, wearing an American flag in the People’s Republic of California is as racially incendiary as wearing a Confederate flag in the south.

After reading this, I thought that surely this high school must be located in an East LA barrio.  Maybe school officials made the correct decision. I did some quick research on this “racially charged” high school and community.

Here is the information I found.  I’ll let you decide if this high school is located in East LA.

Live Oak High School Sports (not a complete listing):

  • Cross Country
  • Football
  • Basketball
  • Field Hockey
  • Golf
  • Tennis
  • Volleyball
  • Water polo
  • Badminton
  • Rugby

Morgan Hill, California demographic information:

  • Population – 38,547
  • Median household income - $95,968 ($37,000 above the state average)
  • Median house or condo value:  $647,883 ($265,000 above the state average)
  • Mean price for free-standing homes:  $835,769

Wow!  With the pressure of running from water polo practice to your next badminton match, how did poor little Laura Ponce find the energy to paint her face and chest?  Her hair stylist must have done it for her.

So, the moral of the story devoted readers is this:  Your first amendment rights will be upheld as long as you are a threat to trample the first amendment rights of others.  If you are a peaceful, patriotic, law-abiding student, you have no first amendment rights, because the people you might offend might be violent.

Friday, November 11, 2011

I Fought For You: Required Viewing

Sahib and The Crew would like to thank all members of the military past and present for your service and sacrifice for our country and all our families. I (Sahib) would particularly like to thank my grandfather (WWI - Battle of Belleau Wood veteran), my wife's grandfather (WWII - Normandy Invasion veteran), my father (Vietnam), my father in-law, and my friends Carla, David, Jason, Michelle, Phil, Scott, Scott R., Steve I., and Steve M. Oh, and I almost forgot BalmerLiberal. Your service is appreciated more than you know.

 Please take a few minutes and watch this wonderful video in honor of all our veterans.

Added by the Crew:
Thanks to Sahib for this great Veterans Day tribute.  People all over the world, not just here at home, owe their freedoms to the American soldier.  From Poland to Kuwait, tens of millions live in freedom as a result of the bravery and sacrifice of America's military.  I would like to thank the veterans in my life, starting with my late father and father-in-law.  Brothers-in-law Rick, Mark, and Aric.  Niece Amanda.  Friends Carl, Kris, Chris, Robert, Roger, Howard, Verne, and John.  Many clients too numerous too mention....thanks to you all!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Occupy Protests Get Philosophy from Soviet Propaganda

Now we know where the "enlightened ones" of the Occupy Protests have gotten their political platform!  You would think they could have come up with something better than 30 year old Soviet propaganda.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Obama Hates Occupy Wall Street

OWS or Tea Party?

President Obama and his minions of insufficient light hate the Occupy protests.  More accurately, they hate the protesters.  Obama, Biden, Reid, Pelosi, Wasserman-Schultz, et al. will never admit it, but believe me, they hate the Occupy protesters.  Oh they smile for the media and talk about how they “support” the protesters, but they secretly wish someone would detonate a giant Raid bug-bomb on the whole group. 

You may ask, “Sahib, how can that be true?  These protesters represent the left’s voting base.  How can their political leaders hate them?”  Elementary my dear readers, who wants an unwashed, undisciplined, incoherent, bat-shit crazy group of people promoting their agenda?  As much as Obama and his MSM drones love to bag on the Tea Party movement, they would give their eye-teeth to have the Tea Party people backing Obama’s socialist platform.  I mean come on; who would you prefer backing your cause?  Mr. and Mrs. Joe America with their two bright-eyed apple-cheeked children or a bunch of unwashed mosh pit rejects?

For example, I think it is safe to say that most evangelical Christians are not big proponents of homosexual causes.  How do you think they feel when they see that idiot from Topeka, Fred Phelps, and his loony family protesting at a fallen soldier’s funeral? “Go get ‘em Freddy!?”  Heck no, they realize his hatred and vitriol tarnishes the image of anyone who opposes the GLBT agenda.  It’s guilt by association.  The same goes for the Occupato Mafia and their support for a socialistic nirvana here in the good old USA.  Crazy people are bad for your message.

As exposed by SACSTW’s crack staff last week, Karl Rove’s plan was ingenious.  Like Obama and his cronies, King Karl understands that elections hinge on swaying the 10-15% of independent voters to your side.  Karl was just helping the left with their sales pitch.  Fortunately for the supporters of truth, justice, and the American way, there isn’t much Obama can do but sit and stew about it.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Jihad Me Elmo!

Well the U.S. government is at it again in Pakistan.  You remember the last little adventure we had in that pseudo-ally nation.  Seal Team 6 was the messenger and delivered the brass verdict to Osama.......

Apparently some folks on Dear Leader's management team have recently advised Obama that he has "got to stop whacking Muslims", and get back to bowing and scraping across the globe.  In a SACSTW exclusive, the Crew has obtained photos of this secret meeting...

 And voila!  In the spirit of the $16 dollar muffin, the U.S. taxpayer is shelling out $20,000,000 (that's 20 million for all you Kansas City school district alumni out there) to send a new ambassador to Pakistan........
Sesame Street Islamabad kicks off later this month with everybody's favorite red monster Elmo and a young Pakistani girl named Rani as the stars of the show.  Other characters include a crocodile named Haseen O Jameel.  The Crew admits to being unaware of the apparently large Irish-Pakistani population.

This is what happens when you spend Other People's Money.  First it's $16 dollar muffins, then it's 20 million dollar Muppet junkets to the Mideast. 

In related breaking news this morning, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney is out and will be replaced by 

It remains to be seen if the White House press pool notices the change.

Friday, November 4, 2011

An Open Letter to BalmerLiberal

World War II Memorial - sans plaque
Artist rendering of WWII Memorial with plaque

This open letter is a response to a lively Twitter discussion that occurred earlier today.

Dear BalmerLiberal-ParkyBill (or Moonbat Bill as the Crew and I affectionately refer to him),

I hate herky-jerky conversations on Twitter or texting, so I thought I would write you this letter.  I retweeted a post about the Obama administration's objections to a plaque with FDR's D-day prayer being added to the World War II memorial in Washington DC.  I did so without editorial comment.

Here was our exchange:
MBB:  "Why must fools throw Jesus at everything? Your own faith not enough for you?"
Sahib:  I was somewhat taken back by the apparent vitriol of your comment.  I responded with, "Have you READ the prayer? No mention of Jesus I could find."
MBB:  "Nope. Haven't read it. No reason to."
Sahib:  "Are you familiar with the historical significance of the prayer?"
Sahib:   "Do we need to scour the MLK memorial for mentions of God too?"
MBB:  "Wasn't MLK's first name 'The Reverend'?"
MBB:  "Did the designers of the memorial ask for it to be there?"
Sahib:  "So memorials can never be modified?  The original FDR memorial is the size of a desk."
MBB:  "Was the FDR memorial modified after it was built?"
Sahib:  "You could say that."
MBB:  "That was neither a yes or no.  Was FDR monument modified AFTER it was built?"
Sahib:  (Pulling your chain) "Sort of."

After this, you either had to go or were done with me.  As is the wont of you and you lib brethren, when losing a debate, you change the focus of the debate.  We began with religious implications and then switched to the concept that memorials and monuments, once dedicated, are inviolate and prohibited from modification.

In the interest of brevity, I will jump right to the most emotionally charged of all memorials, the Vietnam War Memorial.  Guess what?  It has been modified THREE times since its original dedication in 1982.  All by different designers than the original memorial.  And guess what else Bill?  The last modification was.... wait for it.... a PLAQUE!

Come on Bill, we both know the issue here.  It is because it's (GASP!) a prayer.  If it was simply FDR's D-day address, not a single one of you on the left would have batted an eye.

I hope you and your wonderful wife have a great weekend!

Your friend,

PS. In the interest of full disclosure, there are actually two FDR memorials.  To my knowledge the original has never been modified, but it has been replaced.  FDR never wanted a big memorial.  He said he wanted nothing bigger than his desk and the original memorial honored his wishes.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Karl Rove is the Occupy Protest Mastermind!

SACSTW has unearthed a plot so cunning, so diabolical, that Machiavelli himself would have been proud.  Karl Rove is the mastermind behind the Occupy Wall Street protest movement.  Undercover SACSTW reporters have obtained a secret recording of the planning and implementation meeting held in King Karl’s secret underground bunker.  (Built by non-union construction workers.)  The following is the transcription of the recording:

April 1, 2011 10:43:02 EDT
King Karl:  I am sick and tired of all the crap that the Tea Party people are getting from the media and the left.

 Minion #1:  Yeah and why do the American people keep buying the “big government is the answer” lies from the Obama and his all commie chorus?

Minion #2:  We need a plan to show the American people the foolishness of socialism and how the Tea Party supporters are hard working patriotic Americans who want the best for everyone. 

King Karl:  Any ideas?

Minion #1:  We could let Obama, Harry Reid, and Debbie Wasserman Schultz keep talking…

King Karl:  You would think that would work, but it’s taking too long. 

Minion #2:  We could start a big ad campaign denouncing socialist policies and supporting hard work and personal responsibility.

Minion #1:  The mainstream media wouldn’t cover it.

King Karl:  Wait a minute…. I have an idea. (Sinister chuckle)  What if we let the lefty moonbats and media do the work for us?  We send some operatives undercover into the bowels of the liberal bastions to sow the seeds of a protest.  We play on their paranoia and public school brainwashing.  We feed their insecurities and inherent laziness.  We plant slogans like, “Greedy People Suck!”, “Banks have all the money, give us some!”, and “I don’t want to repay my student loans!” If that doesn’t work, they can use the magic words…. “Free weed!”  Send them someplace like Wall Street to protest.  The lib media will eat it up.  The dem politicos will have to back them because they ARE the democrats’ voting base.  The American people will see what a bunch of whack jobs occupy the left.  It could be my biggest triumph!  Hmmmm, whack jobs, occupy, Wall Street….

Minion #2:  I don’t know boss.  Not even the lib media is dumb enough to fall for that.

King Karl:  Three words.  Olbernamm, Maddow, Krugman.

Minion #2:   Point taken.

Minion #1:  To which liberal bastions should we send our operatives? 

King Karl:  Oh, East Village coffee houses, the NYU student union, methadone clinics.  You know, the usual.  We can’t start right away.  Our operatives will require some rigorous training.  Besides, we want the protests to have time to really start ramping up about the time the weather starts getting really nasty.  Begin say, mid-September? What should we call them by the way?

Minion #2:  Karl’s Kommandos?

King Karl:  Too commie.

Minion #1:  Rove’s Raiders?

King Karl:  I like it!  It has kind of a corporate raider flair.  That goes perfectly with the name I have for the protests… Occupy Wall Street.
End of transcription

At this point the SACSTW reporter’s recording device failed, but he was able to provide us with before and after pictures of Rove’s Raiders.  According to SACSTW reporters, the training was a strict regimen of vegan diet, bi-weekly bathing, Michael Moore "documentaries", and heavy doses of marijuana. 

Rove's Raiders prior to training
Rove's Raiders after training
Stay tuned to SACSTW for the latest updates to this fast-breaking story!