Monday Musings With The Crew

I have to confess.....I was so overwhelmed with the lunacy of the left last week, that I just couldn't form any coherent posts on any of the topics.  Let's try to sum up a few of the humdingers in Monday Musings today....

Excuse me while I whip this out!

• It has come to this.  In the country of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Reagan, it has come to this. Today, if you google the phrase "duck penis", the first thing you find is a story about the United States federal government.  Sufferin' succotash!  It seems that you and I gave researchers at Yale University $400,000 for a study entitled "Sexual Conflict, Social Behavior, and the Evolution of Waterfowl Genitalia".  Here is my question.....If this grant request was approved, exactly what do you have to propose researching in order to have a grant request denied?  The soul shudders at the thought.....

• Florida State Senator Audrey Gibson (D-Jacksonville) has proposed legislation that would require purchasers of ammunition to present proof that they have taken and passed an anger management class.  Obviously she is one of the great Constitutional scholars of our time.  

The fiends are even marketing these weapons
to children!

• Anthony Mayo was arrested in Mojave, CA on charges that he murdered his wife in August of 2012 in Las Vegas.  He allegedly beat his wife with a vacuum cleaner, and she succumbed to her brain injury 2 weeks later.  Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) responded by calling for a ban on all vacuums with a canister or bag capacity over 1 quart.  "There can be no justification for having these high-capacity devices in the hands of ordinary citizens" said the Senator, adding "They just suck."  

• Can we finally put to rest the notion that Barack Obama is the most brilliant man to every occupy the Oval Office?  Last week on his sojourn through the Middle East, Dear Leader spent much of his time talking about the "2 state" solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.  Here is one of his more outrageous comments...

And those two states I think will be able to deal with each other the same way all states do.  I mean, the United States and Canada has arguments once in a while, but they're not the nature of arguments  that can't be solved diplomatically.

Grammatical difficulties aside, did the President of the United States just equate the Israeli-Palestinian conflict with the relationship the United States has with Canada along our northern border?  That seems a bit of a stretch, even for Dear Leader.  I mean, it has been months since the Canucks lobbed a missile strike into the U.S., and anyway they are just mad that it has been 20 years since a team from Canada won the Stanley Cup!

An interesting caveat to these great words of wisdom from Dear Leader......he delivered them while standing under a giant picture of Yasser Arafat, the father of modern terrorism.  I'm sure this photo gives Netanyahu a warm cozy feeling.....

Oh Mitt... You Missed the Kill Shot!

The president made many vague, muddled, outright false, and generally laughable statements last night.  Among them are:

• Apparently not realizing that US marines STILL use bayonets.  Something you would think the commander-in-chief might be aware.
• Talking about Tunisian protests our narcissist-in-chief said, "This nation. Me."
• Emphatically and categorically stating that Romney was against ANY form of government assistance for GM and Chrysler.  Oops, sorry Mr. President... wrong or lying again:  http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/19/opinion/19romney.html?_r=2&
• Espousing a level of love and adoration for Israel that he usually reserves for tax increases, new entitlement programs, and golf.
• (And one of my favorite moments) Not correcting Bob Schieffer when Bob referred to him as Obama Bin Laden.
• Trying to explode Romney's brain with the Obama Death Stare, a la Scanners/Big Bang Theory.

All fascinating and enjoyable moments, but Romney could have won the debate and probably the election in one fell swoop.  The president gave him the perfect opening and Romney could have poleaxed (for you race baiters out there, that was pole axed and not poll taxed) him right there on national TV.  If he had taken the opportunity, I wouldn't have been surprised to see Obama curl up in the fetal position right there on stage and start sobbing for Reggie to come save him.  Here is how the exchange SHOULD have happened:

• President Obama:  Bob, let me — let me respond. You know, if we're going to talk about trips that we've taken, you know, when I was a candidate for office, first trip I took was to visit our troops.  And when I went to Israel as a candidate, I didn't take donors, I didn't attend fundraisers, I went to Yad Vashem, the — the Holocaust museum there, to remind myself the — the nature of evil and why our bond with Israel will be unbreakable.
• Governor Romney:  Really Mr. President?  You have must have immense testicular fortitude to introduce fundraising into this discussion. Well, you went there so here goes. Yes, as a CANDIDATE I did attend fundraisers in Israel.  You know why?  Because people there LIKE me and understand I will be a TRUE friend to Israel as president.  Would you like to know what I will NEVER do as PRESIDENT?  I will never attend a fundraiser when the bodies of our ambassador and three other citizens are not even cold and that they are dead as a direct result of my administration's failures.  That, Mr. President, I will never do.  Bob, please feel free to clean up that puddle of goo that used to be the president.  I wouldn't want anyone to get it on their shoes.

That, to quote Barney Stinson, would have been, wait for it.... LEGENDARY!

A Day Of Disgrace For The United Nations

They came for the filmmaker in the dead of night.  Heavily armed law enforcement agents removed him from his home, and transported him to central command for questioning.  He had produced a movie that ran contrary to the head of state's beliefs.  In fact, the leader of the country had called the man a "shadowy character", and characterized his movie as "crude and disgusting".  As much as this might sound like 1930's Germany, it happened 10 days ago in Cerritos, CA.

Of course the governmental line is that the filmmaker was being questioned about a possible parole violation connected to his uploading of his film to Youtube.  Seems like a likely reason for multiple agents of the LA Sheriff's department to descend on the man's house after midnight.

I know, I know, this is old news right?  Maybe so, but today it is flavored with the bitter taste of fascism.  Yesterday, the leader of the country addressed the United Nations General Assembly.  He apparently didn't think the filmmaker was old news, as he felt the need to prostrate himself and his country before that den of thieves again and again.  He peppered his speech with flowery references to freedom of speech and religion, saying "the strongest weapon against hateful speech is not repression, it is more speech- the voices of tolerance that rally against bigotry and blasphemy, and lift up the values of understanding and mutual respect".

Then came today.  For those who don't know, today is Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year for Jewish people across the globe.  Today, behind the same podium at the UN, on Yom Kippur, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will address the General Assembly.  The very same Ahmadinejad that has promised to "annihilate" the Jewish people, and "obliterate" Israel from the globe.

That the United States allowed this man to enter our country is reprehensible.  That the UN allowed this man to speak on the holiest of days for Jews everywhere is blasphemy of the highest order.  That President Barack Obama agreed to speak from the same podium as this man is unforgivable.  That the majority of Jews in the United States will likely vote again for Barack Obama in less than 6 weeks is sad and unfathomable.

If Barack Obama had any sense of decency, any sort of understanding of right and wrong, he would have sent this message to the United Nations on Monday.....

Dear Secretary General Ki-moon,

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is a terrorist, a megalomaniacal despot who has vowed to annihilate the followers of Judaism and to obliterate another member nation from the map.  Incredibly, the UN has decided to give this criminal a platform from which to spread his hatred and vitriol.  To add grievous insult to blatant injury, you are allowing him to speak on Yom Kippur, the holiest of holy days for the Jewish people.  As President of the United States, I refuse to speak from the same platform as such a man, nor will I allow any representative of the United States to do so.  

Sincerely,
Barack Hussein Obama

As we all know, no such message was forthcoming from Dear Leader.

Holocaust: False Zionist Alleged Tragedy

This is why there will never be peace in the Middle East

Ziad Al-Bandak, the Palestinian president's adviser for religious affairs, places flowers at the Auschwitz death camp in Oswiecim, Poland, on July 27

Last week Ziad Al-Bandak, an adviser for religious affairs for Palestinian president Mahmoud Abbas, visited Auschwitz and left flowers. To most sane people, this would seem to be an olive branch offered and a display that could signal a potential to compromise for the good of all concerned. But as ESPN College Game Day analyst Lee Corso is fond of saying:  "Not so fast my friend!"

According to a Reuters story on NBC News, Hamas spokesman Fozzy Bear, sorry Fawzi Barhoum had this to say:

Hamas spokesman Fawzi Barhoum

"It was an unjustified and unhelpful visit that served only the Zionist occupation," and "a marketing of a false Zionist alleged tragedy." and that the visit came "at the expense of a real Palestinian tragedy."

I'm sure that 6 million murdered Jews would have loved to disagree with him. The real "Palestinian tragedy" Mr. Barhoum is that leaders like you continue to indoctrinate your people with messages of hate and blame as opposed to messages of peace and understanding.

I've said it before and I will say it again.  There will NEVER be peace in the Middle East until there is not a single Jew on a single square foot of land in the Holy Land.  Groups like Hamas and individuals like Mr. Barhoum continue to make my point.

New Obama Hit from I-Tell Records: "Tell On Me"

I Don't Know How This Isn't Treason

Obama Can KISS Off !

Saw an interesting video interview of KISS frontman Gene Simmon's views on Dear Leader and his policy toward Israel.....

I agree with almost everything the King of Lingual Length says in this video, right up to when he says "President Obama means well, I think he is actually a good guy.....".  

Please SACSTW readers....lean in close to the monitor.  Free your mind of all the puff pieces the mainstream media has done on George and Weezy Obama.  Prepare yourself to think clearly, and accept this truth...

Barack Obama is a bad guy who wants to destroy the underpinnings of freedom that have made America the greatest country in the world, and wants you, your children, and your grandchildren to live in perpetual servitude to the federal government!


This insistence by many who oppose Obama that he is a "good guy" who just has bad ideas is going to come around and bite us in November.  In the immortal words of Earl Pitts.... Wake Up America!

Cavernous Trachea Strikes Again! Obama Letter to Karl Marx

Just when The Crew and I had thought we had heard the last of Cavernous Trachea, it happened again.  I was pulling the daily school planner out of Sahib Jr.'s backpack and I found an envelope addressed to SACSTW.  In the envelope was a letter with a post-it-note on it.  The post-it-note said, "Hello gentlemen!  Here is the latest missive from Dear Leader Obama to his hero and inspiration, Karl Marx.  Enjoy! Your friend, CT "  This was the letter enclosed:

Dear Karl,

I don't care what anyone says!  I did NOT have another "episode".  Maybe my celebration was a little excessive, but once again my actions were misinterpreted.  I probably shouldn't have done my Yosemite Sam imitation, snatched that Secret Service agent's gun out of his holster, and started shooting holes into the ceiling of the Oval Office, but I was just so darn excited.  Things are really starting to come together.  

Joe hasn't said anything incredibly stupid in the last 24 hours. (I wonder if he's in the country.) Moochelle is planning another vacation and is going to be on Leno so she hasn't been nagging me about smoking.  The republicans are beating the crap out of each other in the primaries.  Breitbart's death has delayed the release of his "Obama Gone Wild" video series at least for a while.  Life is good!  But you know what Karl?  That's not what really has me revved up.  I have accomplished two things I thought would never happen in my presidency. 

My two biggest enemies, Rush Limbaugh and Benjamin Netanyahu, have really screwed the pooch.  I think I've really snowed Bibi about Iran.  I think I've lulled him into complacency by repeating "Give negotiations a chance! Give sanctions a chance!" over and over again.  I never thought he would buy it, but I believe he has.  He has to keep the rhetoric up to assuage his constituency, but I think I can stall him long enough that Iran will have nukes before Israel feels they have to preemptively strike.  I am SO smart.  But he's just the little Satan.  I've scored my biggest victory against the Great Satan, Rush Limbaugh.

I can't believe Rush fell for DNC plant, "23" year old Sandra Fluke.  I mean it was SOOOO obvious.  She's a Cornell graduate for Pete's sake, and that's where I "went" to college. (Hee, hee, hee) Wait, no, I "went" to Columbia.  Oh well, whatever.  She was perfect with her "cherished" friend who lost her ovary due to the pernicious policies of the Georgetown administration.  I can't believe no one thought to ask why such a champion of female contraceptive rights wouldn't chip in a few bucks a month to help a "cherished" friend in dire medical straights. Or why didn't her anonymous friend go to Planned Parenthood or any of the multiple free clinics in DC?  Stupid conservatives.  And then Rush takes the bait hook, line, and sinker by calling her a slut and prostitute.  I couldn't get the talking points off the Media Matters fast enough.  Five dollar a gallon gas, trafficking guns to Mexican drug cartels, the Volt going belly up, more "green" energy companies propped up by federal loans failing, who cares?  Rush obliquely called someone a slut.  This has been the best week ever.

Well Karl, I have to go.  The doctors won't give me any more of those B12 shots that make me feel so good.  Eric Holder has to sneak them to me down in the kitchen.  If I don't take them, my unicorn, Stanley, doesn't show up for our evening rides on the South Lawn.  Thanks for letting me share my awesome news with you.

Your friend, 

Barry

 I dug through Sahib Jr.'s backpack looking for more clues as to the identity of Cavernous Trachea.  All I found were some gumdrops in the bottom of his backpack.  Sahib Jr. hates gumdrops.  Hmmmmm....

If You Want a Palestine, How About Hispanstine?

"Official" Flag of Hispanstine

This weekend I had a lively discussion with a former state department employee who spent 21 years in garden spots like Iraq, Egypt, and Yemen.  His view of our role and status in the world was unsurprising, yet discouraging.

After discussing Iraq, Afghanistan, and Iran (He believes the Iranians are bluffing and really don't want war with Israel.) our conversation turned to the Israeli/Palestinian conflict.

Sitting in that converted warehouse watching kids play indoor soccer, the heavens opened up and I had an epiphany.  I have been wrong my entire adult life.  Yes devoted readers, your beloved Sahib has been WRONG.

My previous post about a "Palestinian State?  Just Say No" was misguided and hateful.  It makes no difference that there has never in the history of the world been a Palestine.  Who cares if the British Mandate in Palestine was divided 75% the for Arabs living in that region and 25% for the Jews with the 75% being called Trans-Jordan?  The Palestinian people shouldn't have to move one foot away from where their ancestors lived.  It is irrelevant that genetic analysis suggests that the Palestinians are descendants of Christians and Jews from Southern Levant and that it was not until the Muslim conquests of the 7th century that they "willingly" converted to Islam.  They believe they are a unique and individual people and they deserve their own country exactly where their ancestors lived.  That a large portion of them were nomadic is of no consequence.

My conversion led to another epiphany (I was very epiphanated this weekend).  There is another group of disenfranchised people living much closer to us.  They too deserve.... nay, are ordained by divine right to have their own nation.  I of course are referring to the Hispantinian people.

Today, I start my campaign to begin the annexation of the US states of New Mexico and California for the creation of the new nation of Hispanstine.  I will be submitting my proposal to the United Nations this week. I propose Los Angeles as the capitol.  I mean really... if the Jews shouldn't mind sharing Jerusalem, Hollywood shouldn't mind sharing Los Angeles.  I will also be submitting an application for official refugee status for all Hispanic people living anywhere in the world who can prove (or at least pinkie-swear they are telling the truth) that some relative, at some time, in the past, lived in what is now known as the southern United States.

The United States will be encouraged/pressured/threatened/blackmailed into providing material, medical, and financial support.  Hispantinians will be allowed to work in the United States without interference from the US government.  Allowances will be made for any slight indiscretions made by the Hispantinian people such as rocket attacks, mortar attacks, or suicide bombers perpetrated against their former/current oppressors.

SACSTW followers!  Join me in supporting the brand new nation of Hispanstine, kindred spirits to their brothers and sisters across the world in Palestine!


Please excuse me... *sob*.... just a little emotionally overwhelmed...

Is Obama an Idiot? (about Iran)

I've decided that my oldest son, Sahib Jr., should be the Secretary of State.  Being as he is only 12, we could have potential child labor issues, but he definitely would cut through the crap.  He asked me the other day, "Dad, what's all this stuff about Iran and atomic bombs?"  He did a National History Day project on the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and is interested in the topic.  I outlined the situation and asked his opinion.  He replied, "They're stalling."  I asked him to explain.  He said, "It's like in wrestling when I'm up big on a stronger kid late in the match.  As long as I don't do something dumb and get pinned, I'm gonna win.  So I stall.  That's what they are doing."

And there you have it devoted readers... wisdom from the mouths of babes.  (Please no one tell him I referred to him as a "babe"!)  The question I have is that if a 12 year old (albeit geopolitically brilliant one like his old man) can figure it out, why can't the president backed by the "genius" of the State Department?  I know you lefties out there have changed your mantra of  "Give Peace a Chance!" from the '60s to "Give Sanctions a Chance!" today.  Just one question:  When have sanctions worked?  EVER? Hmmmmmmmmm?

Which can only leave us with one of two conclusions:

1. The President and his advisers are idiots.
2. They have some reason to help Iran stall an attack from Israel until they have a working atomic bomb.

Either of these possibilities scares the peewaden out of me.  Here's to hoping the following video is an analogy for what Israel is about to do to Iran.  The big kid (Israel) restrains himself for fear of getting in trouble with the teachers (US, Europe, Russia, et. al.).  The little a**hole kid (Iran) keeps picking on the big kid (Israel) "knowing" he won't fight back.  Enjoy viewing the results.

Hopefully the "cut the crap" wisdom of kids will trump the politically correct stupidity of adults.

2013 Obama Interview: A Peek into the Future

Chris's legs have lost that loving feeling...

The SACSTW Physics Department having completed work on its time machine prototype has had its very first glimpse into the future.  We have some bad news and some great news.  The bad news is the first message from the future is a Chris Matthews’ interview with Obama.  The great news is that Obama lost the 2012 election.  The following is a partial transcript of the interview from February 1, 2013:

CM:  Mr. President, thank you very much for your time.  In know this must be a difficult time for you.
BO:  …………………….
CM:  Mr. President?
BO:  ……………………
CM:  Mr. President, I know you are upset.  Please talk to me.
BO:  Oh, hi Chris.  I didn’t notice you there.  When did you come in?
CM:  Mr. President, we have been setting up for an hour.
BO:  Oh, sorry.  Hey!  Since when have you been in a wheelchair?
CM:  **Sob** It happened on election night.  When the early election returns looked favorable for you, my legs were tingling and jumping around like Charlie Sheen on a three day meth bender.  But when you gave your concession speech 15 minutes later, they went completely numb.  I haven’t had feeling in them since.  But enough about me… How are you getting along now that you are out of office?
BO:  ……………………
CM:  Mr. President?
BO:  Sorry Chris.  Since when have you been in a wheelchair?
CM:  Don’t worry about my troubles Mr. President.  How are YOU doing?
BO:  Well Chris, to be honest… not so hot.  The girls aren’t speaking to me, I’ve had to eat that crap the Michelle tried to force on school kids, and Reggie won’t return my calls.  I think he’s found someone new.  And you know the worst part Chris?
CM:  What’s that Mr. President?
BO:  I’ve only been able to play about 15 rounds of golf!
CM:  But Mr. President, you’ve only been out of office 11 days…
BO:  Yes, but they’ve all been rounds on **sob**, local courses!
CM:  The horror!
BO:  Warren and George have been making fun of me.
*editor’s note:  Warren Buffett and George Soros
CM: So how do you think the new president will fare?
BO:  How will he fare?!?! HOW WILL HE FARE!?!?  He’s friggin Tim Tebow!
CM:  I know, it is a little amazing…
BO:  Amazing?  AMAZING?  Friggin miraculous is what it is… if I believed in that sort of thing.  The guy farts unicorns and pukes lollipops.  First he wins the Super Bowl**, and then his fans get the 28th amendment to the constitution passed in six weeks lowering the minimum age for the presidency, and then the day after he is inaugurated Iran surrenders to Israel!  Gas prices are down, unemployment is down, Obamacare has been repealed, and the republicans balanced the budget in six days!
CM:  I know, it’s very disturbing.
BO:  If things keep going like this, Tebow and the republicans will have America an unassailable superpower again by the end of the year.  HE”S UNDOING EVERYTHING WE WORKED FOR!
CM:  Mr. President. please calm down.  You are going to give yourself a heart attack.
BO:  I won’t calm down!  And the running mate he picked!  I can’t believe he picked……..

At this point, the SACSTW time machine prototype experienced technical difficulties.  Once our scientists get it back up and running, we’ll try and get you the rest of the interview.  Suffice it to say, we were very encouraged by what we heard.  It just goes to show you how bad Obama is that Sahib and the Crew would prefer a Florida Gator/ Denver Broncos quarterback over Obama.

*Sahib and the Crew would like to thank our good friend and Crew Member Emeritus Brian @Holyfield67 for the idea for this post.  We hope you enjoy it Brian!


**Sahib and the Crew are not responsible for gambling losses based on SACSTW time machine predictions.  Sahib and the Crew do however expect a 10% vig on any gambling wins based on SACSTW time machine predictions.  We're kind of like the IRS that way....

Palestinian State? Just Say No!

The whole world seems to think a Palestinian state is just a hunky dory idea.  WRONG!

Don't believe me?  Follow along with me in this alternate US History lesson:

• 1776 -  UN creates the United States consisting of modern day states of Oregon, Nevada, Idaho, Utah, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, and New Mexico.  The US declares statehood.  The next day, Canada, Mexico, Great Britain, Japan, and France declare war on the US. 
• 1778 - The US kicks everyone's butt.  The world is pissed.
• 1812 - Canada, Mexico, and Great Britain declare war on the US again.
• 1814 - The US kicks butt again, but this time says to the world "screw you!" and takes California, Washington, and everything east of the Mississippi to the eastern seaboard.  The world is pissed again.
• 1848 - The people living on the eastern seaboard and in California decide they need their own country too.  Nobody listens or cares.
• 1850 - Canada and Mexico launch a surprise attack on the US on Christmas day. The US drives to Mexico City.  The world is pissed and says "Stop!"  Inexplicably the US does.
• 1870 - The US gives everything back to Mexico in exchange for a promise that we won't kick their butts again.  The people of the eastern seaboard and California start shooting at us with cannons and sending donkey carts loaded with TNT to blow up our towns, schools, and churches.  The world cheers.
• 1871 to 2008 - The world decides that we are horrible people because we take umbrage that the people of the eastern seaboard and California continue to murder our citizens.
• 2008 to Present - The US says "OK, if you stop shooting cannon balls at us and sending donkey carts loaded with TNT to blow up our towns, schools, and churches, we'll agree to you having your own country."  
• What do you think the US should do?

Let's get a couple of things straight:  

1. The rest of the Arab world doesn't give a diddly squat about the Palestinians. They hate Jews and by extension, Israel.  The Arab world cared nothing of the "Palestinian" people until Israel kept kicking their asses every time they attacked Israel. The Palestinians are a convenient excuse to distract the Arab people from their ruling despots.
2. There are no "Palestinian" people.  In the history of the world, there has never been a Palestine. They are people who lived in "Trans-Jordan", the 75% of the Palestine Mandate carved out for the "Palestinian" people.  Something conveniently forgotten by the world and the lefties in the US. 

The moral of this story is that there will be no peace in the Middle East until Israel no longer exists.  Israel can make concession after concession, but as long as they control one square foot of land in the Middle East, there will be no peace.  If you believe otherwise, you are delusional or intentionally obtuse.