Cecil the Lion Was A Democrat!

Cecil the lion was a Democrat, and it killed him.  More precisely, male African lions are the Occupy Wall Street types of the animal kingdom.  They lay around most of the day drawing crowds of gawkers, but never really contributing anything to the advancement of the species other than a little sperm.  OK, a lot of sperm...but I digress.

Regal in appearance but indolent at heart, male lions would prefer to lounge around the Serengeti than get up off their ass and run down a wildebeest.  Remind you of anyone?


 Like the Occupy crowd, male lions sponge off the work of others, in their case female lions.  Lionesses do the majority of the hunting for a pride of lions, then defer to the male who eats first from the kill.  Hang on....Mrs. Crew is telling me dinner is ready.

Ok, I'm back.   Why the treatise on lion behavior you ask?  Unless you have just teleported on to this rock from the third ring of Saturn, you have heard about Cecil the lion.  By the way...it is "ses-uhl", not "see-suhl".  Cecil was evidently the most beloved and well known lion in his home country of Zimbabwe, living a life of leisure and torpidity on a local game preserve.

Enter Walter Palmer, DDS.  Palmer, a Minnesota dentist, paid $55,000 for a lion hunt in early July that resulted in Cecil getting whacked.  Most reports indicate that the professional hunter hired by Palmer and one other coaxed Cecil off the game preserve by dragging a dead animal behind a vehicle as a lure.  Palmer then shot Cecil with a bow, wounding him.  The hunting party tracked Cecil for 40 hours before he was ultimately dispatched with a gunshot from the professional hunter.

When news of  Cecil's demise leaked out, the world exploded.  Twitter feeds were choked with angry animal lovers, many calling for the death of Dr. Palmer. Jimmy Kimmel broke down on national TV. Facebook timelines filled up with pictures of Cecil, celebrities stopped pimping the Iran deal and started caterwauling about "Justice for Cecil". Dr. Palmer's dental practice was shuttered, and he has gone into hiding.  Trespassers (some call them protestors) have spent the week littering Dr. Palmer's property with death threats and memorials to Cecil.  These two moonbats dressed as lions going on a "dentist hunt"....

On a side note, I wonder how the cows whose skins cover the car seats of these two idiots feel?  Seriously, cows have got to get a better marketing department.  But I digress, again...

With apologies to Edgar Wallace, twas liberalism that killed the beast.  Had Cecil been a rock-ribbed, self sufficient conservative apex predator (like say, Sahib and the Crew), he would have been out working hard to support his family when the nefarious Dr. Palmer came calling.  Instead, liberalism had taught him dependency, and he fell victim to the siren song of an easy meal.

We can learn a lot from Cecil's unfortunate demise...

• Liberalism kills, be it in the Zimbabwean jungle or the asphalt jungle of the United States

• Initiative, ambition, and self-reliance will serve you better than sloth, handouts, and welfare

• Never trust anyone from Minnesota.  This has been one of my personal mantras since the voters there sent this guy to the United States Senate....
  

P.S.- the Senator is the one with only one banana

Millions upon millions of ethical hunters do more for the conservation of game species in one day than all the stuffed animal memorials and "dentist hunts" will ever do.  That said, if Dr. Palmer and the others involved violated the game laws of Zimbabwe (and it appears they did), they should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.  But please, let's not make this out to be the crime of the century.

After all, it's not like Dr. Palmer was out there chopping up babies into little salable bits.

Last Stand of the Melting Pot

Check them out at www.missourimavericks.com

One of the best things about my home town is the minor league hockey team.  It has a loyal, passionate fanbase, and as a season-ticket holder I attend virtually every home game.  Every night at the arena, I marvel at the number of fans wearing not just the home team jersey, but jerseys from dozens of different teams.  NHL teams like the Blues, Red Wings, Maple Leafs, Flyers, and Bruins are well represented.  I’ve seen gear from other minor league teams, international teams, college teams, beer league teams, the entire spectrum of hockey can be seen each night. 

These fans come to the sport of hockey from every socio-economic background.  They represent different ethnicities, religions, and political viewpoints. However, the reasons they all cram into the arena on game night are not their differences.  It is because they are united in a single purpose, a single dream to cheer the home town boys on to the championship.  They are proud of their hockey heritage yes, but that is secondary to their sense of unity as fans of the local team.  Therein lies their greatness, the reason they are widely considered the best fanbase in the league.

Historically, America has resembled that game night crowd.  Immigrants would come through the turnstiles of our great melting pot, with their individual heritage intact but secondary to the desire to be American, to cheer the home team, and to reap the benefits of the grand American experiment.

Over the last few decades, things have changed.  Progressives planted the seeds of division in our public schools by emphasizing to our children what makes them different from one another.  Our skin color, our ethnicity, our religion, our gender, our sexual orientation, even our body mass!  Those seeds have taken root, and the harvest is the increasingly fractionated society we live in today.  Our children have grown up identifying themselves not as Americans, but as hyphenated citizens whose true loyalty is to their past.  It is no coincidence that the words “diversity” and “division” share a common root.

America is in trouble, and lust for diversity is our greatest internal threat.  If we don’t reverse this infatuation with our differences then the idea of a great American melting pot will pass from our national conscience, to be replaced by an increasingly cacophonous population of individuals interested only in favorable treatment for their own segment of society.

Don’t believe me?  Ask anyone you know under the age of 30 what the phrase “melting pot” means to them.  Don’t be surprised if most of them think it is the new fondue restaurant in town.

Monday Musings With The Crew

I have to confess.....I was so overwhelmed with the lunacy of the left last week, that I just couldn't form any coherent posts on any of the topics.  Let's try to sum up a few of the humdingers in Monday Musings today....

Excuse me while I whip this out!

• It has come to this.  In the country of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Reagan, it has come to this. Today, if you google the phrase "duck penis", the first thing you find is a story about the United States federal government.  Sufferin' succotash!  It seems that you and I gave researchers at Yale University $400,000 for a study entitled "Sexual Conflict, Social Behavior, and the Evolution of Waterfowl Genitalia".  Here is my question.....If this grant request was approved, exactly what do you have to propose researching in order to have a grant request denied?  The soul shudders at the thought.....

• Florida State Senator Audrey Gibson (D-Jacksonville) has proposed legislation that would require purchasers of ammunition to present proof that they have taken and passed an anger management class.  Obviously she is one of the great Constitutional scholars of our time.  

The fiends are even marketing these weapons
to children!

• Anthony Mayo was arrested in Mojave, CA on charges that he murdered his wife in August of 2012 in Las Vegas.  He allegedly beat his wife with a vacuum cleaner, and she succumbed to her brain injury 2 weeks later.  Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) responded by calling for a ban on all vacuums with a canister or bag capacity over 1 quart.  "There can be no justification for having these high-capacity devices in the hands of ordinary citizens" said the Senator, adding "They just suck."  

• Can we finally put to rest the notion that Barack Obama is the most brilliant man to every occupy the Oval Office?  Last week on his sojourn through the Middle East, Dear Leader spent much of his time talking about the "2 state" solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.  Here is one of his more outrageous comments...

And those two states I think will be able to deal with each other the same way all states do.  I mean, the United States and Canada has arguments once in a while, but they're not the nature of arguments  that can't be solved diplomatically.

Grammatical difficulties aside, did the President of the United States just equate the Israeli-Palestinian conflict with the relationship the United States has with Canada along our northern border?  That seems a bit of a stretch, even for Dear Leader.  I mean, it has been months since the Canucks lobbed a missile strike into the U.S., and anyway they are just mad that it has been 20 years since a team from Canada won the Stanley Cup!

An interesting caveat to these great words of wisdom from Dear Leader......he delivered them while standing under a giant picture of Yasser Arafat, the father of modern terrorism.  I'm sure this photo gives Netanyahu a warm cozy feeling.....

Babe, Put Down The M-16 And Make Me A Sammich!

In March of last year, Sahib and I announced the formation of our new political movement....White Heterosexual American Males Only, better known as WHAMO.  You can read the founding document of WHAMO here.  You may be wondering why you haven't heard much about WHAMO since then, and I am here today to tell you why.

Given that an organization such as WHAMO engenders incoherence, rage, and hissy fits in many liberals, Sahib and I decided that WHAMO's first order of business was the development of an elite security and counter-insurgency force.  For the last ten months, we have been in the planning and development phases of this project.  Now that SecDef Panetta has approved women in combat, the time has come to announce to the world the special-operations arm of WHAMO security.

This ultra-elite commando unit's official title is Security-Housecleaning-Erotica-Armaments-and Libations,......but they will be better know as.......the SHEALs.

I have authorized the SACSTW offical photographer to release some early training images from the first group of SHEALs to make it through the grueling program......

As you can see, the training regimen of the SHEALs is arduous and harsh, but the troops are holding up very well to this point.  Sahib and I have direct operational control over all SHEAL units, and have tasked the group with a specific set of duties....

• Provide security at all events attended by significant numbers of WHAMO members.  Includes but not limited to.....Super Bowl parties, poker tournaments, and fishing trips..  

• Provide executive protection services for the WHAMO command structure, particularly if WHAMO personnel are to be within 5 miles of any of the following people
• Debbie Wasserman-Schulz
• Barney Frank
• Nancy Pelosi
• Emanuel Cleaver

• SHEALs will be expected to maintain their own garrison, and the quarters of WHAMO officers, in a professional and tidy condition.  Quarters are subject to inspection by WHAMO officers at any time.

• SHEALs will at all times be garbed in one of the several WHAMO approved ensembles, examples of these may be seen above.

• SHEALs will be in charge of maintaining and protecting the WHAMO Armory, and will conduct live-fire exercises as their leaders see fit.

• SHEALs will be prepared at all times to provide themselves and the WHAMO command structure with emergency rations as needed for survival.  Such rations are to consist primarily of mixed drinks and sandwiches. 

It is anticipated that additional duties appropriate for SHEAL teams will be identified in the coming months.  Although SHEAL Teams 1 and 2 are near operational readiness, Sahib and I's work is never done.  We will soon embark on a nation-wide recruiting mission, seeking out only the best of the best to wear the uniform of the SHEALs.  Look for the official SHEAL recruiting poster at a car show, Hooters, or beach volleyball tournament near you!

What Does "Gun" Control Really Mean?

Obviously our nation is currently embroiled in a vigorous "gun-control" debate.  The debate is doomed from the start, as the term "gun-control" is a non-sequitur.

Guns are inanimate objects, and as such are not subject to any laws or regulations.  They, like all inanimate objects, can respond only to physical forces and elements applied to them.  Press a gun's trigger firmly enough, and it will fire a chambered round.  Immerse it in water and metal components may rust.  Expose it to high enough temperatures, and it may melt into an amorphous blob.

Make no mistake, "gun-control" is about governmental control of people, not guns.  It is no different than any other governmental intrusion into the lives of the citizenry.  With each incremental increase in government's control over the populace, individual liberties take a corresponding decrease.  Many are comfortable having the federal government exert tremendous power over their daily lives, I am not.

I think what bothers me most about "gun" control advocates is their rank dishonesty.  I would have much more respect for them if they would just come out and admit that what they really want is a complete ban on private firearm ownership.  If only they would have the courage to boldly stake out their position, rather than cloaking it in politically palatable niceties.

This will never happen of course.  Statists learned long ago that rolling back liberty is much easier when done incrementally.  Me, I'm ready for the fight right now.   Come on you gun control pantywaists, make your play.  Knock on my door and tell me to turn my guns in.  Go ahead, make my day.

The Crew's Monday Morning Math Lesson

I suppose there is a reason I'm not in the election prediction business, it didn't go so well for me (or the country for that matter) last week.  I underestimated how thoroughly the progressivist entitlement cancer, seeded by Presidents Wilson and Roosevelt, had metastasized through the body of the American electorate.  

Since his re-election, Dear Leader has said that he will not support any fiscal plans that do not involve the rich paying higher taxes.  We've heard it all before, it's time for the rich to start "paying their fair share" in order to dig the country out of the financial hellhole it finds itself in.  

Attention Class, please open your Math With The Crew textbooks to page 27.  We will start today looking at tax data for 2009, as it is the most recent that is readily available. Let's establish some facts...

• in 2009, the top 1% had a total Adjusted Gross Income (AGI) of 1.324 trillion dollars.
• of that 1.324 trillion dollars, they paid 0.318 trillion dollars in federal income tax.

Let's say for the sake of this exercise, the federal government freezes spending today, and continues to operate indefinitely with the 1 trillion dollar annual deficit it currently has.  Given that the national debt is 16 trillion dollars, here is the question...

Q: How long will it take (based on 2009 data) to pay off the national debt if we taxed the top 1% at 100% of their adjusted gross income?  Scroll down for the answer.....

A:  The answer is a smidge under 267 years.  Yep, if we take every penny the top 1% make, and make sure the feds don't spend one more nickel a year than they do now,  we'll all be in high cotton in time for the 2279 Christmas shopping season.  Well, except for the top 1%, they'll all be broke.

 Class, repeat after me.....

The federal government is in this fiscal nightmare because of runaway spending, not because the top 1% are not paying their share. 

Obama: Imbecile or Madman?

June 8, 2012-  Barack Obama:  "the private sector is doing fine"

Imbecile or madman?  After yesterday's press conference, that is all any thinking person can have left in their vocabulary to describe Barack Obama.  At the presser, he TWICE said "the private sector is doing fine", and went on to say that the major weakness in the economy is a lack of hiring by state and local governments!

Here's how I explain one of the most outrageous statements ever uttered by the President of the United States. Obama thinks the private sector is doing fine because he places so little importance and value on it.  To committed socialists, the private sector is not the engine of economic growth, rather it is only an impediment to their desired expansion of the role of government.

Barack Obama thinks the private sector is doing fine because he doesn't care about it, doesn't think about it, doesn't spend any time considering how to help it.  He really wishes people would just stop asking about it, so he can get on with the business of "fundamentally transforming" America. Well, I do care about the private sector.  Let me tell you about one tiny little part of it.

Anytown Animal Hospital is a very small veterinary practice in a major U.S. metropolitan area.  It is run as a sole proprietorship by a husband and wife who employ one additional person.  It came under its current ownership in 1991, and at the time had been a very poorly run business.  The practice experienced slow, steady growth throughout the 1990's.  Increased competition from several angles slowed that growth through the 2000's, but sales continued to grow.  As with any business, expenses grew every year as well.  Taxes, regulatory requirements, fuel costs, drug costs, they all have been on a steady upward trend.

The owners were comfortably middle class, able to save some money for their two sons' college education as well as their own retirement. Being self-employed business people, there is no cushy pension or health insurance benefits available to them.  Annual sales peaked in 2007.  2008 seemed to be going well until October, when sales dropped precipitously with the election of Barack Obama and the TARP fiasco.  At the end of 2008, sales had dropped 3.8% from 2007, the first decrease in 17 years.  

2009 brought the Obama stimulus plan, and the economy went off the cliff, dragging Anytown Animal Hospital down with it.  You see, most people want to take care of their pets.  But money spent on veterinary services is still "disposable income" for most Americans, and under Barack Obama disposable income dried up fast for most of us.  2009 sales dropped another 6.1% from 2008.  

2010 and 2011 brought a level of desperation to Anytown Animal Hospital.  Sales dropped 7.7% in 2010, and another 1% in 2011.  In total, sales have dropped almost 20% since Obama's election.  

Unfortunately, expenses didn't go down concomitantly.  Sales decreases come right out of the owner's pockets. With the cost of doing business increasing every year, the owner's personal income has dropped 37% since Obama's election.  37%! 

 The owner has spent many long nights over the last two years agonizing about the practice.  Should he just close it up and walk away from the last 20 years of his life?  Should he try to get a second job, any job, just to be able to continue saving for the future?  Should he fire his only employee to buttress the bottom line?  

Why has this happened?  Did Anytown Animal Hospital start doing something differently that caused sales to plummet?  I don't believe so.  The economic pain and uncertainty under Barack Obama has simply eliminated disposable income for many people in Anytown.  As his clients have endured Obama's "fundamental transformation", Anytown Animal Hospital's owner now finds himself 23 years into his professional career, and with an income last year less than the starting salary for a newly graduated elementary school teacher in the Anytown Public School District.  

Mr. President, don't you dare tell me the private sector is doing fine.  I own Anytown Animal Hospital, and I know the truth.

Editor's note---  The answer to the opening question of this post is IMBECILE.  

Ding Dong.....You're Ruined!

Perhaps the most terrifying 59 seconds ever captured on video.....

Any questions....?

Monday Musings With The Crew

• Tomorrow, my home state of Missouri will hold a presidential primary that means less than nothing.  No delegates will be won, Newt Gingrich is not on the ballot, and John Hunstman, Herman Cain, Rick Perry, and Michele Bachman are on the ballot.  Oh, and did I mention that the state is expected to spend about seven million dollars of OPM on the meaningless beauty contest?  Missouri's GOP delegates will actually be won and lost during the county by county caucus scheduled for March 17th.  That's right, the Missouri Republican Party is choosing its delegates on St. Patrick's Day, the day when more beer is consumed in Kansas City and St. Louis than on any other day of the year.  I fully expect most of the GOP delegates to be won by this guy.....

Mmmmm....taxpayer money is magically delicious!

• Vice-President Joe Biden recently said that he advised President Obama against the raid that ended with the capture/killing of Osama bin Laden.  At the time it seemed like an odd admission of discord within the White House.  Yeah, not exactly.  Remember that EVERYTHING that comes from the Obama administration is aimed at boosting Dear Leader's re-election hopes.  By saying what he did, Biden makes Obama look like the decisive, strong national defense executive that we all know he isn't. "Why lookie here uninformed voter, Dear Leader was willing to even go against his own Veep (who is supposed to be the national security expert in the administration) to bring down Osama"  "Such gallantry, such grit and courage, why we had to talk Barack out of leading the mission himself!"  Sorry Joe, SACSTW ain't buying it.  

• Want to know the difference between conservatives and liberal statists like Dear Leader?  Obama and his philosophical brethren define success by how many Americans are dependent on governmental largesse (OPM) for their daily lives.  Conservatives define success by how many no longer need such support.  Dear Leader likes to talk about how his policies have helped poor people stay afloat, and helped those in the middle class stay in the middle class.  He NEVER mentions helping poor people become......NOT POOR!  He NEVER mentions middle class Americans moving up the socio-economic scales.  He knows that government is not the tool that can get that done.  May I suggest a new slogan for the Democratic Party...."Keeping America's Poor In Their Place For 100 Years"

• Tom Coughlin has now won 2 Super Bowls in the last 4 seasons.  Think the Jacksonville Jaguars would like to have him back?  By the way, does anyone remember when Super Bowl commercials were funny and entertaining?  The state of affairs in the U.S. advertising industry is sad indeed.

• Taking a page from the Elvis Grbac handbook.....Gisele issued this post-Super Bowl analysis of hubby Tom Brady's performance.  "My husband can not f***ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time."  For thinking that anyone cares what she says about football, Mrs. Brady gets my nomination for Hollywood HOs of the the week.

• It's been a few weeks since we all enjoyed a nice swimming goat video, so...............

Note to readers-  If crazy goat lady invites you over for a pool party, don't eat the chocolate-covered raisins.