Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Sahib's Great Toilet Paper Conundrum

The Anatomy of an Attempted Discussion with a Liberal

Recently, something my high school American History once said has really been sticking with me.  He said that he never read conservative opinion columnists because he agreed with them.  He read the liberal columnists because he wanted to know what the enemy was thinking.  Hence, I have been spending some time reading the Huffington Post.  After a few months of this, I can tell Mr. Englund what the liberals are thinking... NOTHING!  The following is a typical interaction with a liberal commenter on the Huffington Post:

I was reading a story about a study that was reporting that 10% of US watersheds were "under stress".  They had a nifty map and everything.  Green was good. (of course it was)  Red was bad.  Here it is.
Notice anything about where most of the problems areas are?  We have such smart readers.  You guessed it!  The desert areas.  Like in all other things, California has the biggest problem which prompted the following comment from yours truly, Sahib.

“Wow, this is a real puzzler. The population of California has nearly quadrupled since 1950 and the water supply is stressed. What a shocking development! I had a similar mysterious problem where I live. When I was single I only went through a roll of toilet paper a week. Now that I have a wife and two boys, I need a lot more than that. Maybe there's a climatologist out there with computer model that can explain it for me.”

Which prompted the following exchange with OldJazzyGirl:

“Better yet............You could explain WHY righties SCREAM about CONTRACEPTION?”

“Huh? Use it whenever my wife and I have relations.  Two boys are enough for me.  There are occasionally loud noises, but I wouldn't exactly call it screaming.”

At this point, the conversation takes a swift detour from the original topic...

“Perhaps you could connect population explosion and why we need easily accessed contraception for ALL?”

Not sure that anyone really believes in a "population explosion" in the US anymore, but I figure I'll play along...

“Since when has it been hard to come by?  I've been able to access it without problem since I was 16.  And believe me, I wasn't about to ask anyone else to pay for it when I was 16.”

“Apparently, you are SPECIAL. Take your head out of the sand.”

“Again, since when have contraceptives been hard to come by?  Condoms are about $1 a piece.  Generic birth control pills range from $10 to about $35 a month without insurance.  Doesn't seem that daunting to me.”

“It is for some people. And you need a doctor's prescription for birth control pills. The uninsured? 
And guess what....The world is bigger than you. To suggest that because something is easy for you so, therefore, it should be an identical experience for everyone else suggests that your head is somewhere other than in the sand.”

“The world is bigger than me?  Wow, didn't know that.  How about instead of spouting hyperbolic rhetoric you provide some concrete examples of how excruciatingly hard it is for people not living in my apparent Mecca of contraceptives to acquire them? ”

“I shouldn't have to educate you on the problems of people who have less than you have. If you haven't noticed by now, you never will.”

“You won't because you can't.  When the facts don't match your perception of the world you hide behind tired platitudes and rhetoric.  Show me where in the US in a concentrated population area a person can't walk to the nearest convenience store and buy a pack of condoms.

You don't want access.  You want EASY access.  The problem isn't availability.  It's laziness. It's people behaving irresponsibly.  It's people making bad choices.
It would be nice if the condom fairy would wave her magic wand right before the moment of penetration.  Or in the case of "my man won't wear a condom", the birth control unicorn would come stab you in the arm once a month, but that isn't going to happen.

I understand that some people's lives are harder than others, but I defy you to find a major metropolitan area in this country where any person can't find affordable contraceptive options.  It might just take a little effort to find them.  But apparently for you, this is too much to ask.”

Sahib Sep 25, 2013 at 14:14:43 in Green
“"of people who have less than you" Honey, even when I was making $5 an hour and trying to decide which utility I needed the least, I paid for my own contraceptives. You know why? Because I thought it was the responsible thing to do. I was in no way prepared to have children so I took steps to make sure it didn't happen. I took personal responsibility. I understand that concept is an anathema to many of you on the left, but there it is.”

OldJazzyGirl on Sep 25, 2013 at 14:23:44
“Blah, blah, blah, blah, me, me, me, me, me. You have to be one lousy mother.”

Sahib Sep 25, 2013 at 14:39:39 in Green
“AHHHHH! Another favorite tactic of the left... "I have no facts to back up my assertions so I will resort to ad hominem attacks!" But yes, if teaching my boys that choices have consequences and teaching them to take responsibility for those choices constitutes a "lousy mother", I am happily a lousy mother. Psst.... Just don't tell my wife that I mentioned earlier, she thinks SHE is their lousy mother...”

And that devoted readers, is where OldJazzyGirl bailed... I have checked right up to the publication of this post, and to my great sorrow, OldJazzyGirl has abandoned me. But I am far from discouraged.  Because I know there are 100s just like her ready to spew their drivel.  This exchange was not the exception.  It is the norm.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Big Changes For Hollywood HOs Award....

One of our regular tasks here at SACSTW is awarding the Hollywood Hall of Shame award, or Hollywood HOs for short.  A brilliant creation of Sahib's, this award goes to the celebrity who best embodies the brain-dead, liberal-dogma spouting, narcissistic traits that we all have come to love in our Hollywood heroes.

I'm going to take some liberties today with Sahib's award, and announce a name change...     The Hollywood Hall of Shame award will now (at least for this week) be known as "The Miley".  I have a team of designers and sculptors feverishly working to produce a trophy, but can share this image of the prototype design with you today.....

Anyway, on with the countdown.  Several excellent contenders were vying for the very first Miley, but the judges selected Gwyneth "Fast and Furious" Paltrow.  The actress was an absolute menace on the roads this week, cutting off a school bus while riding her scooter with daughter Apple (don't get me started...).  Husband Chris Martin followed close behind on another Vespa, and the pair haughtily "zoomed" through traffic creating their own lane as they went.  Watch for yourself....

The Paltrow's narrowly averted making Applesauce out of their daughter, and in doing so are this week's Miley Award winners!

P.S.  I've never really gotten the "Gwyneth is so hot" thing.  Your thoughts?

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Meet the Ravaged Taxpayer of Missouri

The scent lingered in the air,drawing the attention of the beasts.  It was familiar,and tugged at their brainstem, urging them to respond.  A couple more sniffs, and they were sure…….somewhere in the great state of Missouri, someone was trying to return tax money to the taxpayers.  

The beasts paused, and lifted their foul snouts from the bloody and torn carcass of the taxpayer.  Slavering and dripping with Other People’s Money, their jaws opened to render a baleful howl…….

“With a price tag of $800 million, this legislation (the proposed tax cut) is an ill-conceived, fiscally irresponsible experiment that would hurt our economy, and jeopardize funding for public services”...........Governor Jay Nixon

“The bill will have a devastating effect on our school district…….we will have to start making cuts immediately that will effect students education.   Corporations will be seeing more profit, and our students will be paying the price”..................Independence (MO) Superintendent Dale Herl

“passing HB 253 hurts education, transportation, mental health and all other priorities we have as a state”      Missouri State Senator Paul Levota (D-11)

Once again, the creatures suckling at the public teat got their way.  After the Missouri General Assembly passed the first income tax rate cut in the state in OVER 100 YEARS, it was promptly vetoed by Democratic Governor Jay Nixon.  The Assembly held their veto session this week, and fell short of overriding Nixon’s veto.  

So there ya go….the torrent of OPM that flows from the people to the government goes unstaunched.  Any attempt to do so is met with the predictable and trite laments of how it will ruin the lives of children, cause the elderly to burst into flame, and force ugly chicks to purchase their own birth control.  

The great beasts are satisfied now, for the moment.  They lower their loathsome heads, and resume ripping and tearing at the taxpayer’s corpse, consuming every last fiber of meat and gobbet of fat.  


The Day the Climate Stood Still

There is a great deal of buzz over an upcoming literary release.  In fact, the excitement level has surpassed even that of 14 year old girls over the publication of the last Twilight book.  Yes, devoted readers, that's right... I am referring to the soon to be New York Times best seller, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change's Fifth Assessment Report, or AR5 to its friends. (Wait, isn't that an assault rifle?)

Don't worry, I won't spoil the cliff-hanger ending for you.  Well, OK.  If you insist.

*****SPOILER ALERT!******

  • The earth might be getting a lot warmer, a little warmer, or maybe cooling slightly.  (Cue the three bears...)
  • The sea levels might rise a little or a lot.

Regardless of what happens, it's our fault.  Which brings us to a new entry on Sahib's List of Questions Liberals Refuse to Answer:  What is the ultimate goal of the apocalyptic climate change hand-wringers?  I know the answer for the more cynical of us.  Liberals want control AND they want to make money.  How much has Algore made off his "green initiatives"?  But I believe that there are truly people out there that believe the earth's entire polar bear population will soon be stranded on small patches of melting ice.  This seems to upset them.  It is for these people I pose the question:  If I could give you god-like power to do whatever you wished with the earth's climate, what would you do?  Initiate climate stasis?  The earth has been warming and cooling since its creation.  In the timeline of the earth's history, how can you take a sample size of 150 years and extrapolate a trend?  So please tell me, what is the global climate goal?

Which begs another question... Are global coastal populations going into cryogenic stasis for the next 100 or so years?  The big scare that the AGW people like to use is the earth warms, land ice melts, and then sea levels rise thus drowning billions of people.  Worst case scenarios have sea levels rising five feet by 2100.  Apparently, between midnight on December 31, 2099, and 12:01 on January 1, 2100, sea levels are going to instantly jump five feet. (maybe)

Hold on... the crack SACSTW climate staff is informing me that the sea level rise will NOT happen over night.  So I guess people living on the coasts will have to move their deck chairs back 6 inches a year.  Oh, the humanity!

Oh, and anyone curious about the #1 entry on Sahib's List of Questions Liberals Refuse to Answer?  I've posted it before.  The first commenter to post it wins a free copy of AR5.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

A Day of Remembrance...

When I was contemplating what to write today, the following quote kept running through my mind.  It is one of my favorites and I feel really embodies the American spirit:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. "
-Theodore Roosevelt 

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Is the Apocalypse Upon Us?

Well devoted readers, it's been a while.  While The Crew and I have taken a bit of a sabbatical to recharge the batteries and restore the creative juices, there is just so much going on in the world we couldn't stay away any longer.  The world has become even a stranger place than when we took our little break.  Here are just a few of the signs that the apocalypse may be upon us:

  • Twerk and selfie have been added to the Oxford dictionary.  My late high school English teacher is spinning in his grave.
  • Hannah Montana has out-skanked Madonna, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton combined.
  • Democrats are wanting to bomb middle-eastern countries and Republicans are against it.
  • Beefcake Vlad Putin is actually photographed with his shirt ON and is now the voice of reason in the middle-east. 
  • Some middle-aged white dude dressed like Beetlejuice has the pop "song of the summer".
  • Lindsay Lohan's 423 trip to rehab might be the one that takes.
  • Actual news headlines that include:  "Weiner Accused of Abusing Staff" and "NYPD Denies Accusations of Vagina Slapping in Bong Throwing Incident"
  • And last but not least... Sahib has been posting comments on the Huffington Post. (I feel so dirty...)
Those are just a few things that have caught my eye in recent months.  Check back soon for more!  It's good to be back.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Zimmerman Jury- American Heroes

If you were paying attention, the Zimmerman trial afforded us a look at the best and worst of America.

 Villains abounded, chief among them Governor Rick Scott, special prosecutor Angela Corey, race-baiter extraordinaire Al Sharpton, and the ravenous hordes of leftist media that demanded an innocent man be
railroaded into prison for the rest of his life.  

In the hours and days after Zimmerman shot and killed Trayvon Martin, the local police and DA's office investigated the incident.  Realizing there was no evidence a crime had been committed, they declined to charge Zimmerman.  That's when our country showed her seamy underbelly.  Spearheaded by Obama, Sharpton, et al, many powerful players on the left began to exert enormous pressure on authorities in Florida.  Governor Scott didn't have the spine to stand up for what was right, he crumbled under the onslaught and appointed a special prosecutor, Angela Corey.  

Corey went after Zimmerman with ferocity, and without regard for the evidence in the case.  Her prosecutors
put on a case filled with supposition, hypotheticals, and outright fabrication.  Zimmerman's defense countered with facts, forensics, and actual evidence.  But in the end, George Zimmerman still needed a hero.  

The heroes in this case weren't powerful politicians, wealthy influential lobbyists, or government bureaucrats.  The heroes were the 6 ordinary, everyday American citizens on the jury.  Those 6 women did what no one else had the strength to do.  They stood up to the baying jackals of the main stream media, they ignored the howls of protest from the race-baiters in the black community.  It would have been so easy for them to fold, to just convict Zimmerman and get on with their lives.  But they chose the path of heroes.

Those six ordinary women in Florida have restored a little bit of my faith in this country.  The lesson for ALL of us to learn is this......What makes America a beacon of hope across the globe is not our rich and powerful politicians.  It's not our bloated nanny state government, or our feckless media conglomerates.  It's not the brain dead celebrities we fawn over.  What makes this country the greatest in human history are the people.  The ordinary people who perform acts of heroism everyday.  Most of these acts occur far away from the spotlights and TV cameras.  Once in a while however, we all get to see heroes in action.  Heroes like the 6 American women of the Zimmerman jury.  

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Looming Zimmerman Verdict a Crossroads For Us All

Well, I'm back.  After a self-imposed exile over the last couple months, I just had to fire up the SACSTW presses again as we all await a verdict in the George Zimmerman trial.  Obviously this trial has dominated the news in the last couple weeks, and I've heard a lot of griping about that from some folks.  "Why should I care about that, it doesn't have anything to do with me?" is the common lament of the poorly informed.

You should care about this trial and the verdict to come if any of these are true....

  1. You legally carry a concealed weapon on your person
  2. You are willing to defend yourself and your loved ones against a violent attack with whatever means are available to you
  3. You would like to continue to believe that the courts are impartial,  the last resort of the innocent, and are above the influence of political correctness.
All of my life, I have been told that every man gets his day in court.  That when you find yourself embroiled in a dispute, victimized by a criminal, or perhaps even charged with a crime yourself, you will be treated fairly and impartially by the American justice system.  Anything less than a complete acquittal of George Zimmerman means that all we have learned about our system no longer applies.

A conviction of this man not only means he will spend decades in prison for a crime he did not commit, it means that all of us are mere pawns to be moved around the board by the main-stream media, race baiters such as Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, and liberal statists like Barack "if I had a son he would look like Trayvon" Obama. 

Much is riding on the shoulders of the 6 jurors as they deliberate today.  Not just the fate of George Zimmerman, but the confidence and trust we all SHOULD be able to have in the American system of justice. There's nothing any of us can do now but wait. 

Thursday, May 2, 2013

The Lunacy of the Left on Gun Control

Larry Correia

The learned Crew has posted multiple times about the stupidity and lies of the left concerning gun violence and new gun control laws.  He has done such a fantastic job I haven't felt that I had anything of particular note to add.  That is until I found  new (well, new to me) author Larry Correia and his Monster Hunter International series of books.  If you like tender, sensitive, romantic vampires and werewolves like in the Twilight books, these books are not for you.  If you like awesome weapons, nasty villains, and general mayhem, these books are for you.  Think Rambo, meets Terminator, meets H. P. Lovecraft.   What other series can offer an accountant, a school teacher, and a stripper working as a team to kick some monster booty?  You can find his stuff on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or off his website:

While looking to see when I could expect to see the next MHI book to be released, I ran across a post on his blog written last December after the Sandy Hook tragedy.  It is by far one of the best treatises on the ignorance, fallacies and downright idiocy of liberal concepts of gun violence and gun control legislation.  It is a little long, but well worth the time to read:

After reading this yesterday, I decided I really needed to post a link to it.  Then as I was checking out the headlines this morning, I saw these two stories:

10-year-old boy among victims as more than 20 shot on one Chicago day   - Keep in mind that Illinois and Chicago have some of the most restrictive gun control laws in the country.  Illinois is the ONLY state to have a complete ban on concealed carry.

followed up with this doozy...

Toomey:  Background check plan failed because of Republican politics - With Republicans like this, who needs Democrats? Ummmm, with very little due respect representative Toomey, maybe it was defeated because it would have prevented none, zero, zilch of the Sandy Hook, or Columbine, or Fort Hood, or Aurora deaths.  Of course, lets never let something as silly as factual evidence get in the way of a politician's need to be seen "DOING SOMETHING!"

And that's just a one day sample that proves Larry's points.

Friday, April 19, 2013

What Does The Future Hold For Suspect #2?

At the time of this writing, Boston Marathon bombing suspect #1 has gone on to meet Allah.  Law
enforcement has a home surrounded in Watertown, MA where suspect #2 is reportedly holed up.  Let's assume that he is taken alive, and take a little quiz.  There is only one question....

Q:  What will Suspect #2 be doing in 40 years?

A:  Hosting a midday talk show on MSNBC

B:  Teaching political theory at Columbia University

C:  Delivering the keynote address at the 2053 National Education Association convention

D:  Holding campaign fundraisers for Democratic candidates

E:  All of the above

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

how about a quick look at a couple domestic terrorists.....

and a couple friends of theirs

It's OK Mr. President, We Understand

Dear Mr. Obama,

It's OK really.  We understand.  We realize that your remarkable lack of core principle just won't allow you to, ahem, call a spade a spade.  We know that the screams of American citizens on the streets of Boston, the severed limbs, the sidewalks smeared with blood, really don't mean a damn thing to you.

We no longer expect you, the leader of the free world, to summon up courage enough to label yesterday's bombing of the Boston Marathon what it was.......terrorism.  And it happened on your watch Mr. Obama.  Again. Fort Hood, Benghazi, and now Boston.  Oh to be sure, some unnamed White House spokesman was quick to say that the attack was being "treated as a terrorist act".  But you didn't say it.  The word never passed your lips.

Why not?  What euphemistic phrase shall we invent this time Mr. Obama?  "Work-place violence"?  "Man-made disaster"?  How about "sports-associated pyrotechnic incident"?  Or maybe "sequester-induced explosive event"?  How long before you or one of your execrable lackeys blames yesterday's attack on George W. Bush or the Tea Party?

Let me just make sure I have this straight.....While you and your posse of gun-grabbers were concentrating on tearing down the Constitutional rights of law-abiding Americans, someone was planning this...

I have no idea who is responsible....foreign Islamists, radicalized American Muslim, McVeigh wannabe, neo-Nazi skinheads, heck...maybe even your old bomb-chucker pals at the Weather Underground are getting back in the game.  Doesn't matter to me who it was, they are terrorists.  Why won't you say it?


The Crew

Monday, April 15, 2013

Monday Musings With The Crew

This week's edition of Monday Musings starts with breaking news!  Do yourself a favor and sit down........Bill Maher actually said something funny!  Of course he did it unintentionally while delivering his quasi-serious political analysis......   but it was still hilarious

Maher:  "You know who the role model of every President should be?  Jimmy Carter.  Because he is the one out of all of them who figured out how to sit in office for 4 years and never fire a shot."

Look, I've got nothing personal against Jimmy Carter.  He served his country in the Navy, and by all acounts is a kind man.  He was also (until the WH's current occupant came along) the worst President in the history of our nation.  Guess what happens when a President is weak and "never fires a shot"?  Stuff like this.....

Speaking of Dear Leader, he has really sunk to a new low.  He trotted out Francine and David Wheeler, parents of a child killed in the Newtown shooting, to deliver his weekly radio address.  Exploiting a family's pain for political gain is nothing short of reprehensible, but about what we have come to expect from Barack Hussein Obama.   

Big kudos to Senator Mike Lee (R-UT) who addressed this issue on the Senate floor, and has started a campaign to gather the stories of those whose lives and families were defended and protected through the use of a firearm.  Project 2A has collected over 5000 such testimonials in a very short period of time.  Here is Senator Lee commenting on the Senate floor, it is powerful stuff.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Last Stand of the Melting Pot

Check them out at

One of the best things about my home town is the minor league hockey team.  It has a loyal, passionate fanbase, and as a season-ticket holder I attend virtually every home game.  Every night at the arena, I marvel at the number of fans wearing not just the home team jersey, but jerseys from dozens of different teams.  NHL teams like the Blues, Red Wings, Maple Leafs, Flyers, and Bruins are well represented.  I’ve seen gear from other minor league teams, international teams, college teams, beer league teams, the entire spectrum of hockey can be seen each night. 

These fans come to the sport of hockey from every socio-economic background.  They represent different ethnicities, religions, and political viewpoints. However, the reasons they all cram into the arena on game night are not their differences.  It is because they are united in a single purpose, a single dream to cheer the home town boys on to the championship.  They are proud of their hockey heritage yes, but that is secondary to their sense of unity as fans of the local team.  Therein lies their greatness, the reason they are widely considered the best fanbase in the league.

Historically, America has resembled that game night crowd.  Immigrants would come through the turnstiles of our great melting pot, with their individual heritage intact but secondary to the desire to be American, to cheer the home team, and to reap the benefits of the grand American experiment.

Over the last few decades, things have changed.  Progressives planted the seeds of division in our public schools by emphasizing to our children what makes them different from one another.  Our skin color, our ethnicity, our religion, our gender, our sexual orientation, even our body mass!  Those seeds have taken root, and the harvest is the increasingly fractionated society we live in today.  Our children have grown up identifying themselves not as Americans, but as hyphenated citizens whose true loyalty is to their past.  It is no coincidence that the words “diversity” and “division” share a common root.

America is in trouble, and lust for diversity is our greatest internal threat.  If we don’t reverse this infatuation with our differences then the idea of a great American melting pot will pass from our national conscience, to be replaced by an increasingly cacophonous population of individuals interested only in favorable treatment for their own segment of society.

Don’t believe me?  Ask anyone you know under the age of 30 what the phrase “melting pot” means to them.  Don’t be surprised if most of them think it is the new fondue restaurant in town.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Ban Dodgeball? Fine By Me!

I read with sneaking dread last week's story about a school district in New Hampshire banning dodgeball and other "human target" games.  Apparently a parent complained that their child was being bullied during the games.  Here's the kicker......they were already playing with Nerf balls, not the red rubber playground balls that I ......that I.......that.....I...............remember.

This anti-dodgeball movement comes about 35 years too late for me.  Had I been born in a different time, a different place, I might have been spared the soul-shattering trauma.  But I wasn't. Back then we played a dodgeball variant known as bombardment.  Rules were simple, if your throw hit a player on the other side, they were out.  If the opponent caught your throw, you were out.

6th grade.  The final match of the year to decide which class had bombardment supremacy.  I was a good player, with a strong arm and catching abilities honed on the baseball diamond each summer.  The match was brutal. One by one the players on both teams fell by the wayside, adorned with scarlet playground ball size blotches on various portions of their anatomy.

At the end, only two were left.  Me on one side of the court, and Leann on the other.  Ahh, Leann.  One of the prettiest girls in school, soft-spoken and delicate in stature, kind to small animals and old people, and the LAST human on Earth you would want your team's bombardment hopes riding on.

As if Fate itself had decreed my victory, I had accumulated all the balls on my side of the court.  Leann was alone, defenseless, cowering in the corner of the court like a fly entrapped in the spider web of my athletic prowess.  I gave my fallen teammates on the sideline a confident grin, and calmly selected the instrument of Leann's demise from the collection of playground balls I had at my disposal.

No need to be fancy here I thought, don't give her a chance to unwittingly dodge the throw with the involuntary tremors that were racking her body.  I fixed her with a steely gaze, softened with just a touch of pity.  As I drew the ball back all pity left me, and I was filled with equal parts swagger and malice.

The throw was true, center mass, and resulted in a satisfying "thwack", closely followed by a wispy "oomph" as every last molecule of air left Leann's lungs in a rush.  I turned to my teammates, arms in the air celebrating certain triumph.  Wait.....why do they have such shocked expressions?  Why is there a roar arising from my vanquished opponents?

I whipped around as primitive horror began to clutch at my brainstem.  There was Leann, crumpled on the court surface where the impact of my projectile had left her.  Clutched in her diaphanous arms was....the ball.  She had caught my throw, and I had lost.

Leann's classmates swarmed her in victory as I stumbled off the court, seeking solace from my team.  Instead, I met with only callous disregard from my fellow 12 year olds.  I was an outcast, a leper, to be avoided at all costs.  When the fateful heave had left my hand, I was "King of Bombardment and All He Surveys".  When its flight ended in Leann's tenuous grasp, I was forever reduced to "the kid who threw the ball that Leann caught".

Uusally I am critical of school districts banning this, prohibiting that, all in the name of protecting the precious self-esteem of their students.  You will forgive me of course, if I make an exception for dodgeball.

Editor's note:  After not hearing her name in decades, I recently received a Facebook friend request from Leann.  I haven't slept well since.  

Monday, April 1, 2013

Monday Musings With The Crew

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend with their family and loved ones.  All over our nation, Americans listened to their spiritual leaders talk about new life, renewed optimism, and hopes for a better future.  Well, except for the Obamas......

  • The Obamas spent Easter morning at a "worship" service at St. John's Episcopal Church in Washington, D.C.  During said service, Dear Leader and his family heard the pastor at St. John's say this.......
“It drives me crazy when the captains of the religious right are always calling us back…for blacks to be back in the back of the bus…for women to be back in the kitchen…for immigrants to be back on their side of the border,” 
Isn't that special?  My first question when I read those comments was...."When did Jeremiah Wright become pastor at St. John's in DC?".  A little further investigation revealed the pastor's name is actually Rev. Dr. Luis Leon.  I'm sure Dear Leader felt right at home hearing this garbage spewing from the pulpit.

  • In other related Easter news, I found graphic video of  sweet, innocent bunnies and chicks being lined up and summarily executed with a .50 caliber rifle!  Here's the video if you can stand the gore.....

  • With all the incredible things happening in Cyprus lately, I started wondering.....why does the government there feel so comfortable and secure that they will invade the bank accounts of its citizens and make off with a large chunk of their hard-earned money?  Doesn't the government fear an armed uprising from the citizenry?   Then I checked gun laws in Cyprus.....  SURPRISE!
         from wikipedia....
  Cyprus has strict gun control. Private citizens are completely forbidden from owning handguns and rifles in any calber, even .22 rimfire. Only shotguns are allowed, and these require a license. Shotguns are limited to two rounds. The only shotguns typically sold in stores are double-barreled side-by-sides or over-unders. Pump actions and semiautomatics are prohibited............A gun license is required to buy ammunition, and ammunition sales are recorded. ..........Cyprus also controls airguns, and airgun owners require a license.

         It is a simple, inescapable fact.  When the citizenry is disarmed, the  
       government is free to wreak havoc among the people with no fear of
  • While reading about gun control in Cyprus, I came across a message board forum where someone was asking if and how a person could obtain a handgun license in Cyprus.  One of the responses went something like this..... "why would anyone need a gun on Cyprus?  It's an island, criminals who commit crimes can't go anywhere, they always get caught...".  Sorry buddy, but private citizens don't want to be armed so they can help round up criminals after they commit crimes.  They want to be armed to reduce the chances they become the victim of a crime in the first place.  
  • Finally today, I want to share a message I received this morning from Sahib....
April 1, 2013

Dear Crew,

I wanted to let you know that I have left the Midwest, having decided after 5 years of Obama that liberalism and social progressivism really do hold the only true hope for mankind.  I have traveled to California, and intend to make it my base of operations as I feel the warm embrace of like-minded people everywhere I go.  True, the embraces are mostly from dudes in San Francisco, but I digress.  

Turning my back on the conservative rantings of SACSTW, I will now subsist solely on granola and
green beans.  I have found a commune full of friendly fellow granolans here in the San Jose area, and look forward to the day you abandon your outdated philosophies, and join me here amongst the chosen people.

Mariska Hargitay,


PS- I hope you like this snapshot of me living the good life

Monday, March 25, 2013

Monday Musings With The Crew

I have to confess.....I was so overwhelmed with the lunacy of the left last week, that I just couldn't form any coherent posts on any of the topics.  Let's try to sum up a few of the humdingers in Monday Musings today....

Excuse me while I whip this out!

  • It has come to this.  In the country of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Reagan, it has come to this. Today, if you google the phrase "duck penis", the first thing you find is a story about the United States federal government.  Sufferin' succotash!  It seems that you and I gave researchers at Yale University $400,000 for a study entitled "Sexual Conflict, Social Behavior, and the Evolution of Waterfowl Genitalia".  Here is my question.....If this grant request was approved, exactly what do you have to propose researching in order to have a grant request denied?  The soul shudders at the thought.....
  • Florida State Senator Audrey Gibson (D-Jacksonville) has proposed legislation that would require purchasers of ammunition to present proof that they have taken and passed an anger management class.  Obviously she is one of the great Constitutional scholars of our time.  
The fiends are even marketing these weapons
to children!
  • Anthony Mayo was arrested in Mojave, CA on charges that he murdered his wife in August of 2012 in Las Vegas.  He allegedly beat his wife with a vacuum cleaner, and she succumbed to her brain injury 2 weeks later.  Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) responded by calling for a ban on all vacuums with a canister or bag capacity over 1 quart.  "There can be no justification for having these high-capacity devices in the hands of ordinary citizens" said the Senator, adding "They just suck."  

  • Can we finally put to rest the notion that Barack Obama is the most brilliant man to every occupy the Oval Office?  Last week on his sojourn through the Middle East, Dear Leader spent much of his time talking about the "2 state" solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.  Here is one of his more outrageous comments...
And those two states I think will be able to deal with each other the same way all states do.  I mean, the United States and Canada has arguments once in a while, but they're not the nature of arguments  that can't be solved diplomatically.

Grammatical difficulties aside, did the President of the United States just equate the Israeli-Palestinian conflict with the relationship the United States has with Canada along our northern border?  That seems a bit of a stretch, even for Dear Leader.  I mean, it has been months since the Canucks lobbed a missile strike into the U.S., and anyway they are just mad that it has been 20 years since a team from Canada won the Stanley Cup!

An interesting caveat to these great words of wisdom from Dear Leader......he delivered them while standing under a giant picture of Yasser Arafat, the father of modern terrorism.  I'm sure this photo gives Netanyahu a warm cozy feeling.....

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Poetry-Reading Lesbian Bondage Experts of the World Unite!

A tragedy of biblical proportions has befallen one of the hallowed halls of higher education.  The University of Tennessee has decided not to COMPLETELY fund a cherished UT campus tradition.  No, they haven’t done away with the annual torch walk and Smokey IX will get a new orange and white smock to be embarrassed in at football games next year.  It’s even worse.  Organizers will have to come up with some of their own funding for Sex Week.  Apparently, university leaders have caved and abandoned their principles in the face of opposition.  Instead of footing the entire $20K bill for Sex Week, they are only chipping in about a third.

As I read the news of this travesty, I thought “Gee, the poor kids won’t get to learn about being responsible, abstinence, contraception, and preventing STDs.”  Then I saw the agenda for the week.  Some of the highlights include:  “Getting Laid,” “Sex Positivity; Queer as a Verb,” “Bow Chicka Bow Woah,” “How to talk to Your Parents About Sex,” “Loud and Queer,” and “How Many Licks Does it Take…” – a workshop about oral sex. 

These paled in comparison to what I consider to be the climax of the week, a presentation by poetry-reading lesbian bondage expert, Sinclair Sexsmith.  In my almost 48 years of life and the millions upon millions of words I have read, I can honestly say I have never spoken, heard, or even read the combination of words, poetry-reading lesbian bondage expert. (Or PRLB to aficionados.)  And with great trepidation, I allowed my mind to wander and wonder… How does one get to be a PRLB expert?  Is there some kind of contest?  Is it a title like Nobel Laureate? Is there an International PRLB festival or symposium? And if not, The Crew has graciously offered to host one.  However; I digress.

PRLB Laureate Emeritus Sinclair Sexsmith 
What kind of country do we live in where our tax dollars are prevented from being spent on educating our children about getting laid and oral sex?  How can we ever hope to compete globally with China, Japan, and India when we are not doing everything in our power to assist the youth of America in becoming poetry-reading lesbian bondage experts?

Never let it be said that Sahib and The Crew are anything but civic-minded, so in support of this great cause, we are starting the Midwest Chapter of PRLB (a wholly owned subsidiary of WHAMO).  Anyone wishing to join is welcome.  You can submit your application in the comments section of this post.  Donations will be taken at the first chapter meeting to be sent to those poor kids at UT.  Because it’s all about the children.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Monday Musings With The Crew

  • Something is happening in Philadelphia that should terrify you to your very core.  Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter has directed the Philadelphia Human Rights Commission to investigate Philadelphia Magazine.  You see, the magazine dared to publish an essay about race relations that was authored by a white journalist and that contained quotes and opinions from white citizens of Philadelphia.  Mayor Nutter called the piece "disgusting", and described the white citizens quoted in the article as "too cowardly" to use their names.  Here's my opinion.......Mayor Nutter is just one more in a long line of race-baiting progressives who will do anything it takes to shut white people up.  He is despicable, intellectually dishonest, and a threat to every freedom-loving American of any color.  Read the Philadelphia Magazine article here, and decide for yourself.

  • Pew Research Center has released an interesting study of cable news outlets, comparing time spent reporting factual news vs time spent on opinion and commentary.  CNN led the way, spending 54% of its time reporting the news, and 46% opining about it.  Fox News was next, with 45% hard news and 55% opinion.  A distant third were the pyschopathic leftists at MSNBC, who spend 15% of their time reporting the news, and an astounding 85% of their time spewing filth about it.  Me? I think 15% sounds pretty high for MSNBC's actual news coverage.

  • Barack Obama, the great centrist, has nominated a hard left radical to fill his Cabinet's empty slot at Labor.  Tom Perez is a dangerous man, and should be allowed nowhere near a presidential Cabinet post.  Senate Republicans must derail this nomination at any cost.  Read more about Mr. Perez and the Inspector General's report on his gross misdeed's while at the Dept. of Justice here.  

I'd give her a million bucks in taxpayer funds
just to go away....
  • And then there's this......   The federal government has awarded a Harvard-associated hospital $1.5 million of Other People's Money (OPM) to research why lesbians are so fat.  According to the grant application, 75% of lesbians are obese.  Look, only one of two things can be happening here.  Either Rosie O'Donnell is just skewing the curve for everybody, or.....dare I suggest it.......maybe this is nothing more than the classic chicken and egg scenario.  

  • Finally, in a remarkable example of typecasting, Barack Obama is apparently playing Satan in the current History Channel hit "The Bible".  The big baddie himself showed up in last night's episode, and the internet exploded with the amazing similarity the character had to Dear is Glenn Beck's tweet on the topic.......