A tragedy of biblical proportions has befallen one of the
hallowed halls of higher education. The
University of Tennessee has decided not to COMPLETELY fund a cherished UT
campus tradition. No, they haven’t done
away with the annual torch walk and Smokey IX will get a new orange and white
smock to be embarrassed in at football games next year. It’s even worse. Organizers will have to come up with some of
their own funding for Sex Week.
Apparently, university leaders have caved and abandoned their principles
in the face of opposition. Instead of
footing the entire $20K bill for Sex Week, they are only chipping in about a
third.
As I read the news of this travesty, I thought “Gee, the
poor kids won’t get to learn about being responsible, abstinence,
contraception, and preventing STDs.”
Then I saw the agenda for the week.
Some of the highlights include: “Getting Laid,” “Sex Positivity; Queer as a Verb,” “Bow
Chicka Bow Woah,” “How to talk to Your Parents About Sex,” “Loud and Queer,”
and “How Many Licks Does it Take…” – a workshop about oral sex.
These paled in comparison to what I
consider to be the climax of the week, a presentation by poetry-reading lesbian
bondage expert, Sinclair Sexsmith. In my
almost 48 years of life and the millions upon millions of words I have read, I
can honestly say I have never spoken, heard, or even read the combination of
words, poetry-reading lesbian bondage expert. (Or PRLB to aficionados.) And with great trepidation, I allowed my mind
to wander and wonder… How does one get to be a PRLB expert? Is there some kind of contest? Is it a title like Nobel Laureate? Is there
an International PRLB festival or symposium? And if not, The Crew has graciously
offered to host one. However; I digress.
 |
| PRLB Laureate Emeritus Sinclair Sexsmith |
What kind of country do we live in where our
tax dollars are prevented from being spent on educating our children about
getting laid and oral sex? How can we
ever hope to compete globally with China, Japan, and India when we are not
doing everything in our power to assist the youth of America in becoming
poetry-reading lesbian bondage experts?
Never let it be said that Sahib and The
Crew are anything but civic-minded, so in support of this great cause, we are
starting the Midwest Chapter of PRLB (a wholly owned subsidiary of WHAMO). Anyone wishing to join is welcome. You can submit your application in the
comments section of this post. Donations
will be taken at the first chapter meeting to be sent to those poor kids at
UT. Because it’s all about the children.
