Friday, August 14, 2015

WTH is a Fetty Wap?

The bard of the 21st Century, Mr. Wap.
Earlier this week, this was a question that I posed to The Crew. The local sports and news stations in Kansas City were going orgasmic over a reported Fetty Wap sighting at the Tuesday night Royals' game. So I phoned The Learned Crew (my source for all things hip) and asked, "What the hell is a Feddy Wop?" He said that he wasn't sure but he believed that Feddy Wop was a who and not what.  I told him that from all the hysteria I thought perhaps Elvis had returned from the dead or that the Queen of England was travelling under an alias.

He said, "I'm on it!"  A few minutes later he called back and explained that in fact yes,  Feddy Wop is a who and not a what and that the proper spelling was FETTY WAP.  Mr. Wap is apparently a new musical artist of some renown and is very popular with some of the Royals players.  His big hit is a little ditty titled "Trap Queen".  The Crew further informed me that he had viewed the video for Trap Queen and that he needed to get off the phone and shower as a result.  Before he clicked off he said, "You have to watch it."  So when I got home from work, I sat down at my computer to review "Trap Queen".  Here are my thoughts.   (Having grown up trying to decipher Mick Jagger's lyrics, I went split screen with the Trap Queen lyrics as I was watched.)

This man is truly the bard of his generation and I was viewing his magnum opus.  I believe I was listening to the Handel's Messiah of the 21st century. For those of you who haven't seen the video, I think I gleaned a few things:

  • Fetty (to his friends) makes a fantastic living as a baker.  He multiple times refers to making pies with his baby and having a sack to roll.  I am inferring that he means a sack of flour to roll into pie dough.
  • He likes money.
  • He likes his stripper girlfriend
  • The pie baking business is dangerous because he surrounds himself with a number of very large and scary looking individuals.

It was a very uplifting and inspiring song.  So much so, that I felt compelled to up my street cred by taking Sahib Jr. to see "Straight Outta Compton" last night.  I feel my pants sagging off my butt as I type.

Have a wonderful Friday and a safe weekend everyone.  And PEACE OUT!


  1. YOOOOOO, bro, whatup???

    I believe the esteemed Mr. Wap is the source of the 1738 references the Royals players are all working into their interviews, to the perplexity and consternation of those of us who are unenlightened with respect to current, ah, musical (#termusedlightly) trends.

    Can you hear my dad entoning gravely, "That. Is. Not. MUSIC."? I can.

    Relatedly, the Mr. and I took our beloved offspring to see Fall Out Boy (insert fangirl scream and hand flaps here) (yes, from me). The opener was some fellow who goes by the moniker "Wiz Khalifa." We had to inquire of other, ahem, younger sources to glean what a Wiz Khalifa actually is, and lo and behold, it's a WHO not a WHAT, too! A prolifically potsmoking WHO, that's what. We were thankfully seated far enough away from the tokers to avoid the contact high, but out of the deep deep love a parent bears for its young, we endured Mr. Khalifa's vulgarities so that we could more fully appreciate the wails and growls of the real reason we went, Fall Out Boy. I said all that just so's you know, you're not alone. :D

  2. Great work homie! My question....why with all that cash laying around did Mr. Wap get his ocular prosthesis at Woolworth's ?