Monday, August 10, 2015

Monday Musings With The Crew

Tired of GOP debate analysis?  Heard enough about Megyn Kelly's menstrual cycle over the weekend?  You've come to the right place, let's dive into this week's edition of Monday Musings...

  • The Kraft company is recalling 36,000 cases of individually wrapped slices of "cheese" after several customers reported choking on the plastic wrapping covering the slices.  SACSTW dispatched our ace field investigator to interview the customers, where it was determined they had actually choked on the "cheese". Officials with the FDA have demanded Kraft "make the cheese and the plastic taste different".
  • Pope Francis marked the 70th anniversary of the Hiroshima bombing by referring to the atomic blast as "a permanent warning to humanity".  Indeed. 
  • The one-year anniversay of Michael Brown's death was also marked this weekend.  Trevion Hobson had perhaps the most poignant and heartfelt tribute to Mr. Brown.  Police say the 17 year old attended the protest on the anniversary...and shot a fellow protestor.  If Barack had a son...
  • As we noted on the SACSTW Facebook page this week,  Nathan Phifer went into a grocery store in the Houston area and proceeded to cache 3 bottles of wine in his pants.  He then went to the store bathroom and pounded 2 of the bottles.  On his way out of the store, Nathan grabbed up a handful of sushi and stuffed it down his pants as well.  Store personnel stopped him on the way out with the ill-booten gotty.  Frankly, I'm suspicious of this whole story.  Sahib hasn't used the "Nathan" alias in years.
  •  Finally there is this.... Perennial SACSTW fave Kim Jong-un and his band of wacky henchmen are at it again.  North Korea has announced that on August 15th, every clock in the country will be set back 30 minutes to the newly decreed "Pyongyang Time".  Pyongyang Time is defined as 149 years, 364 days, 23 hours, and 30 minutes ahead of the standard of living of the North Korean people.  Long-time SACSTW readers take note....the Lachrymosity Level is
    now Orgasmic.

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