|Lachrymosity Level Enforcement Department|
|Kim Jong Il official concubines|
|Grieving is a family activity in North Korea|
Kim Jong Un celebrates a birthday, is cast as Odd Job in the “Goldfinger” remake, or has a successful bowel movement.
Uncontrollable joyous weeping, writhing on the ground, and rending of clothing.
Public expressions of mirth are expressly prohibited. Wistful smiles are allowed if meditating on the wonders of the Dear Leader.
Default national Lachrymosity Level
Feet must be shuffled and eyes must be downcast. Muffled sobbing is encouraged.
Kim Jong Un has a hangnail, dies, or Obama loses the 2012 election.
Uncontrollable screaming, wailing, and rending of clothing. Every third citizen must commit seppuku.
Invitees of the grieving reeducation camps will receive LL emoticon flash-cards along with their copies of "North Korean Golf for Dummies - How to Score 38 under in your first round ever!" by Kim Jung Il. All other citizens will receive their LL emoticon flash-cards with their monthly bowls of gruel ration cards. On notification of the the nation's LL condition, all citizens are required to pin the appropriate LL flash-card to their outer-clothing.
|Lachrymosity Level Notification System|
*Editor's note: The idea for today's post was brought to you by SACSTW creative consultant and crew member emeritus Brian Holyfield - @Holyfield67