Friday, January 13, 2012

Hollywood HOs Weekly Winners: Beyonce and Jay Z

Hollwood HOs

"We are the coolest people ever!"
We have not one person, but a couple as this week's Hollywood HOs (Hall of Shame) winners.  Beyonce and Jay Z are this week's winners, but not for the reasons you think.  By now, you have probably heard about parents being blocked from getting to their babies in the NICU, taped-over security cameras, and other general celebrity nonsense.

Apparently, hospital administrators and Mayor Bloomberg want to stay on the good side of one of the entertainment industry's power couples because their exhaustive "investigations" have shown complaints to be exaggerated.

No, Beyonce and Jay Z are this week's Hollywood HOs winners because they named their daughter Blue Ivy.  What was their choice for a boy's name?  Plutonium Kafka?  I have always wondered which came first, the talent or the narcissist. Do fantastically talented people become narcissists as a result of people constantly fawning all over them or do narcissists succeed because they really believe they are the center of the universe?  And if all the Hollywood celebs are the center of the universe, shouldn't they be multiverses?  It's enough to make Stephen Hawking's brain to explode.

Who would have thought that Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter Apple would have the "normal" name.  I can give Moxie Crimefighter's dad Penn Jillette somewhat of a pass because I think he was crazy to begin with, but why do these idiots do this to the people they are supposed to "love"?  Their kids are going to have a hard enough time growing up somewhat normal in the abnormal celebrity world.  Why make it even harder for them?

I can answer my own question.  It's because celebrities don't think it matters.  Being creative and nuanced is what counts.  They are the center of their own multiverse.  The rest of the world will adjust to their wills and desires.  When the jacked up name of their kids is just one more straw on camel's back it's OK right?  They've got money.  That's all that matters right?

Of course, it doesn't always turn out badly for the oddly named children of celebrities.  The first one I can remember is Chastity Bono.  (Come on!  Cher naming a kid Chastity is like Courtney Love naming her kid Sobriety.)  We all know what a healthy, happy, well-adjusted woman she grew up to be.  Though if I remember correctly, I think she did change her name....

*For the record, Sahib's boys' names are simple correctly spelled names.  No hyphens, no symbols,  no silent Ps. Of course the Crew's boys are named Habakkuk and Splat, but that's OK.  He IS the center of the universe.

1 comment:

  1. Come on Sahib!! It's sPlAT!! get it right!!! AND it's not like it's Moon Unit or Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen!!!

    Mrs. Crew