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Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Edict from the Sandwich Nazi: Mandatory Lunch Inspections!
Ministry of Plenty
Department of Healthy Food Initiatives
Press release - MOPDOHFI - 15 February 2012
The Ministry of Plenty Department of Healthy Food Initiatives has decreed that all school lunches brought from home must be inspected for mandatory nutrition levels and to insure that no seditious notes from parents disparaging our Dear Leader Obama are included.
Reports of little girls bringing turkey and cheese sandwiches, bananas, chips, and fruit juice for lunch can no longer be tolerated. Food Czar Sam Kass (formerly titled Sandwich Nazi, but they ran into copyright issues with Seinfeld) states, "The government must ensure that every little girl is fed, by force if necessary, food we deem to be nutritious regardless of parental wishes. It is crucial that every little girl grows up healthy so that she can make the correct decision later in life to abort unwanted children because it is not the government's role to tell women what they should do with their bodies."
Lunches not meeting governmental standards will be discarded and will be replaced meals specially selected by Dear Leader Obama's wife. Only children whose parents are money-grubbing capitalist swine will be charged for these lunches.
Failure to comply with this edict will result in a compulsory invitation to one of Minister Holder's reeducation camps. As it is written, so mote it be.
Reminder: We have always been at war with Eastasia
You can view the article that prompted this edict here.
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I think Glenn Beck said it best when he said "Hey Michelle, back your fat ass up and get out of my kid's lunchbox." I believe that FEMA camp #4 is for the Southeastern US, my neighbors and I are figuring we'll be chipping stones there!ReplyDelete
Not sure where the Midwest one is located. :)ReplyDelete
Now I know that catsup is a vegetable, is grape jelly a fruit?ReplyDelete
If it wasn't so absurd it would be funny.... just ridiculous that we are at this point. I do like your outlooks/perspectives...after all we have to laugh. Thanks for making it funny!ReplyDelete