|Thudguard Brainbucket I
Raising Mush-Brained Wusses: Redux
"Unfortunately, this helmet only protects the top and sides of the head. The face isn't properly shielded. We've tried incorporating a visor made of high-impact polycarbonate (available for industrial workers in various sizes) but the straps of the visor interfere with the helmet itself. Swim goggles are easier to incorporate, but leave the nose and mouth exposed. (The smallest-size motorcycle helmets are still too large and too heavy. We've tried them.) The rest of the child's body is also a problem. I know this helmet isn't trying to address this, but it's worth noting that this is only one part of a full protection approach. Our system of pillows, towels and duct tape works pretty well, but is too warm in hot weather. I'd love to see a full-body suit that breathes."
|SACSTW Wombinator I
And soon to be released by SACSTW Labs, the Wombinator Mark V Family edition. Built to accommodate a family of six, the Wombinator Mark V will come with 30 mm cannon gun mounts** and optional radiation blast shielding.
For those of you who don't really LOVE your children, I guess you could go with the Thudguard products. In addition to the Brainbucket I for you avant-garde interior decorators out there who have broken glass floor coverings, Thudguard also offers baby knee pads.
The important thing for all parents to remember is that we need to teach our children that they are NOT responsible for their own bad decisions. Their problems and failures are ALWAYS someone else's fault.
Have a great weekend everyone!
** 30 mm cannons sold separately. Purchase requests should be submitted to Eric Holder at the Department of Justice. Make sure the shipping address is labeled "in care of" the Cali cartel.