Tuesday, March 13, 2012

White Heterosexual American Males Only: Join Today!

The forefathers of WHAMO!
Because starting your own political movement seems to be all the rage, The Crew and I have decided to start our own. (Religion-wise, it made L. Ron a ton of dough)  At first, we considered taking a page from macho-conservative stalwarts Spanky and Alfalfa.and starting the He-Man Woman Haters movement, but that didn't seem inclusive enough for us.

So today, Sahib and The Crew proclaim March 13, 2012 as "Founders Day" for the White Heterosexual American Males Only movement, or WHAMO!  We have all sorts of fund-raisers and activities in the planning stages, but today we are sending a call for assistance out to all SACSTW readers.  We need one of our more artistically inclined readers to design a WHAMO! logo.  The best entry wins..... A WHAMO! t-shirt!  And of course the eternal gratitude of Sahib and The Crew, total credit for the logo, and a free lifetime subscription to SACSTW (what? it's already free?)  OK, a free t-shirt, all the credit , AND the eternal gratitude of Sahib and Crew. PLUS an autographed picture of the WHAMO! founders.  I know, you all are at a loss for words at the magnitude of our largess.  Entries can be submitted via email at:  sacstw@gmail.com

With that business out of the way, we now extend an invitation for all SACSTW readers to join WHAMO!  Simply post a comment below with the name, Twitter handle, or any other way you would like to be entered on the WHAMO! member rolls.

(huh? platform? we have to have a platform?)  The Crew has dutifully informed me that we have to have a platform before anyone would want to join.  I kind of thought the name, White Heterosexual American Males Only, was self-explanatory, but here goes:

  • We are fed up with people demanding special treatment
  • We don't care about your skin color, gender, who you sleep with, or who you pray to (or don't pray to).  Please just get out of our faces about it.
  • We are sorry that our ancestors may have done bad stuff to your ancestors.  We didn't do it and it didn't happen to you.  Get over it.
  • We believe in Americans.  If you insist on calling yourself an anything-American, you may not join.
  • If we say something unkind, mean, or down-right nasty about your family, you have the right to be offended.  Anything else?  Toughen up pansy!
  • If you are a liberal and find the name of our movement incongruous with our platform, ask a conservative friend to explain irony to you.
I hope that clearly defines the philosophies of WHAMO!  JOIN TODAY!  Invite your friends and neighbors as well.  We will post the winning logo as soon as we pick one from the thousands of entries I'm sure will be soon pouring in.


  1. I totally agree with your Movement and Philosophy! What about Women? We're people too with opinions and attitudes! Are you for or against Women? Because if your against Women we'll Gang Up on you and your Crew for an Unpresidented Twitter Ass Kicking! Can we join? It can be called "WHACED", WHITE HETROSEXUAL AMERICAN CITIZENS ENJOYING DEMOCRACY!

    Your Friend Forever,
    Even you are Sexist!

  2. Pandora,

    We picked the most demonized group of people (by the left) to name our movement after. Everyone has their own group but us. Women (NOW), blacks (NAACP), Hispanics (La Raza), homosexuals(GLAAD), lefty moonbats (OWS)each have their group so created one of our own to poke fun at exclusionary tendencies of them. Anyone is welcome to join our movement if you believe in our platform.

  3. That's the beauty and genius of WHAMO. You need be neither white, heterosexual, American, nor male to join! Welcome aboard!