Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Breaking News Alert- Will Democrats Need Brokered Convention?

Results of last night's West Virginia Democratic Primary have Republicans snickering and Dear Leader desperately trying to find something else to talk about, ie gay marriage, condoms, birth control, the kama sutra, etc.

In the glorious tradition of Crew fave Vermin Supreme, upstart candidate Keith Judd won 41% of the Democratic vote state-wide in West Virginia, and actually beat Dear Leader in 10 counties in the state!  Keith Judd is also known as Federal Inmate #11593-051, and currently is enjoying life in the federal penitentiary in Texarkana, TX!  The native of California is serving a 17 year sentence for extortion, but managed to come up with the $2500 filing fee to get on the West Virginia ballot.  What exactly do you have to do in the federal hoosegow to earn $2500?  The mind (as well as other body parts) shudder at the thought.  

It all adds up to a colossal embarassment for Dear Leader, and perhaps a glimpse into the "anybody but Obama" psyche of the American electorate.  I have dispatched the crack SACSTW research team to Texarkana in order to pin down Judd's platform, that is as long as the screws on Cell Block C will let us interview him.  

I think the Judd-Vermin ticket has a real future!  

Inmate Judd at his rightful place atop the ticket

We still love ya Vermin!

1 comment:

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