Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Barack Hussein Obama: Better than Jesus!

The Argument is Compelling...

Chicago Jesus and his Acolytes
Is Chicago Jesus better than Nazarene Jesus? Maybe he is.  Please bear with me devoted readers. At first, I too was skeptical, but as I reviewed the life and legacy of this truly amazing man, it made me think twice. Follow along with me on his journey and you too may be converted.  The evidence submitted for your approval:

  • Nazarene Jesus:  First immaculate conception birth
  • Chicago Jesus:  First birth to occur in two places at the same time- Kenya and Hawaii
  • Nazarene Jesus:  Mary was pregnant before marrying Joseph
  • Chicago Jesus:  Stanley was pregnant before marrying Barack Sr.
  • Nazarene Jesus:  Died for our sins
  • Chicago Jesus:  Wants us to pay for our sins (real and imagined)
  • Nazarene Jesus:  Right-hand man Peter was always putting his foot in his mouth
  • Chicago Jesus:  Joe Biden.... Nuff said.
  • Nazarene Jesus:  Battles spiritual evil
  • Chicago Jesus:  Personally responsible for - Saving the American sea captain from Somali pirates, inventing the computer viruses that have plagued Iran, and the assassination of Osama Bin Laden
  • Nazarene Jesus:  Never had a girlfriend
  • Chicago Jesus:  Had a "compressed" girlfriend
  • Nazarene Jesus:  Had history books written about him
  • Chicago Jesus:  Had himself written into history books (actually, official White House website presidential biographies, but close enough)
  • Nazarene Jesus:  Multiplied the loaves and fishes
  • Chicago Jesus:  Increased the national debt by $5 trillion
  • Nazarene Jesus:  Took a 40 day 40 night vacation in the desert
  • Chicago Jesus:  Has taken 40 vacations and played 90 rounds of golf
  • Nazarene Jesus:  Abraham, Moses, Isaiah, and God are his mentors
  • Chicago Jesus:  Bill Ayers, Jeremiah Wright, and George Soros are his mentors
  • Nazarene Jesus:  Hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors, and other undesirables
  • Chicago Jesus:  Has $40,000 a plate fund-raisers with  Robert Downey Jr,. Sarah Jessica Parker, Cher, Jessica Alba, Sophia Bush, Jared Leto, Billy Crystal, Salma Hayek, Matthew Broderick, Ellen DeGeneres, Drew Barrymore, Vanessa Williams, Lady Gaga, Will Smith, Whoopi Goldberg, Jamie Foxx, Eva Longoria, Spike Lee, Al Green, Mariah Carey, Will Ferrell, Jim Belushi, Robert Di Nero, Don Cheadle, J.J. Abrams, Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts, Danny Devito, and billionaire Warren Buffett.. (OK, that one might be a wash.)
  • Nazarene Jesus:  Ministry on Earth lasted about 3 1/2 years
  • Chicago Jesus:  Devastation of the country lasted only 4 years
So dear readers, I think the evidence clearly shows that Chicago Jesus is superior to Nazarene Jesus.  Don't believe me?  Just ask him yourself.  I don't think he's on vacation or at a Hollywood fund-raiser today.  I think he's in HIS White House.


  1. Good to see you posting again, Sahib, not that Dr. the Crew's posts aren't excellent, too!
    The world hates Jesus and His Church. They don't even need a side-by-side comparison. A boasting, arrogant, silver-tongued devil is their hero, and we shouldn't be surprised in the slightest.

  2. Jesus Christ was bodily resurrected from the dead. Barack Obama....um.... ;) Carma