Pass me that Plastic Carrot!

THIS food is inorganic!

Friends, family, and devoted SACSTW readers know that there are a few (just a few) things that get under my skin.  One of those things is "Organic" food. Let's look at the definition of organic shall we?

"noting or pertaining to a class of chemical compounds that comprised those existing in or derived fromplants or animals"

Never in my life have I ever said, "Man, I have a hankering for some inorganic food.  Somebody pass me a plastic carrot!"   Settle down hippies, I can hear you now:  "Sahib, you are being intentionally obtuse!  You know that we mean "naturally" grown and raised food as opposed to conventionally produced food."  Maybe my high school "30 Days to Build a Better Vocabulary" tests are too far behind me, but I could have sworn that the opposite of organic was inorganic.  Not conventional.

This has annoyed me for years so you can imagine my delight and surprise (surprised it got media coverage, not that it's true) when I saw this article from the Old Gray Hag, sorry, the New York Times:  "Stanford Scientists Cast Doubt on Advantages of Organic Meat and Produce"

The upshot is that there is no tangible evidence that "organic" food is more nutritious and healthy for you than "inorganic", sorry "conventional" food.  The "organic" food business is just another green scam to part Birkenstock wearing, PETA loving, Greenpeace supporting, Prius driving, Obama voters from their money.

Again hippies!  Settle down.  I know there are what you would consider other benefits to "organic" food.  Lower levels of pesticides in produce and antibiotic-resistant strains of bacteria in meat do occur in "organic" foods. However; unless you are planning on eating a truck load of carrots and eating only raw meat from   "inorganic""conventional" producers, you should be fine.  But be warned, levels of E. coli bacteria are no lower in "organic" foods.

And of course, most conventional producers are big evil corporations which we know are out to starve children and leave the planet a desolate wasteland. Psssst, hippies.... The "organic' food business is a $13 billion industry.  They don't give the food away for free or donate their profits to the Humane Society or WWF.  Just thought you would like to know.

You know, I skipped breakfast and it's almost lunchtime.  I am starving!  I could really go for a plastic burger and some Styrofoam fries.  Yum!