Freeze, Or I'll Trim Your Bangs!

The Department of Homeland Security is obviously very concerned about public safety. This week, the DHS released a video entitled "Options For Consideration", meant to instruct the public on how to survive and even fight back during an active shooter situation.  It's quite remarkable.....

Let's take a closer look at this video's message....

"In most cases, there is no pattern or method to their selection of victims"

This of course is patently false.  There is an easily discernible pattern to active shooter situations....they almost always occur in areas where responsible citizens are prohibited from carrying defensive firearms, ie "Gun-Free Zones".  I prefer the more accurate "Target-Rich Environments".

"you might consider trying to overpower the shooter with whatever means are available"

As the narrator intones these words in his best "I'm from the government and I'm here to help" voice, the video shows someone reaching into their waistband to draw their defensive handgun....no wait, that's not right.  It actually shows the individual reaching into a desk drawer and pulling out........scissors.   Freeze scumbag, or I'll trim your bangs!  

"officers may arrive in teams, with tactical equipment such as vests, helmets, and rifles.

You know, all the stuff they don't want YOU to have to defend yourself.

Here's the kicker, on June 7 of last year, the DHS released a Request for Proposal (RFP) to purchase 7,000 "personal defense weapons suitable for close quarters".  After watching their video, I assumed the RFP was for a buttload of pinking shears.  Not exactly.  

What the DHS really wants is 7,000 select-fire rifles chambered in 5.56 NATO caliber, and capable of utilizing 30 round magazines.  Why, that sounds like the very weapons that the federal government doesn't want you and I to own.  There is one big difference..... the phrase "select-fire".  Select-fire rifles allow the operator to choose between semi-automatic function (like civilian AR-15s) and fully automatic fire.  Confused?  Read this.  OK, let's review...

Bushmaster AR-15....a weapon of war

• Black rifles chambered in 5.56 NATO, capable of utilizing 30 round magazines, but NOT capable of automatic fire are "weapons of war" and must be kept out of the people's hands according to Dear Leader, Dianne Feinstein, and the rest of their merry band of gun control moonbats.

Personal Defense Weapons, suitable
for close quarters

• Black rifles chambered in 5.56 NATO, capable of utilizing 30 round magazines, and that ARE capable of automatic fire are "personal defense weapons suitable for close quarters" according to Janet Napolitano and the DHS.  

We live in strange and dangerous times.

Make Gun Ownership and Carry Mandatory!

Perhaps it is my Libertarian streak, but I'm not in favor of mandatory helmet laws for motorcyclists, or mandatory seat belt laws for motorists.  Under 18, no problem, let's make sure those children are protected. Adults should be able to make their own decisions about such things.  Don't get me wrong, I think if you ride/drive without such safety precautions you are making a mistake, but hey, the world needs organ donors.

What have we always been told about seat belt and helmet laws?  Over and over, nanny statists have justified such laws because of the cost to the public of people who don't wear seat belts and helmets.  You know, the medical costs, insurance premiums, blah blah blah.  Why should the taxpayer be on the hook because someone doesn't want to take basic precautions to protect themselves, right?

Well, what's good for the goose......Why not extend the libs own argument to gun ownership and carry?  I propose legislation be enacted requiring all adults who can currently legally purchase and own a handgun to do so immediately. Better yet, why doesn't the government issue a gun to all those citizens?  In addition, those adults will be required to carry said firearm with them at all times.

What happens now when some liberal anti-gun zealot gets raped in their home, or violently assaulted on the street?  Because they refuse to carry a defensive firearm, all they can really do is react when the crime is over.  They call 911, police officers are dispatched.  An ambulance and paramedics rush to the scene.  All of this requires tremendous expenditures of public monies.  Now you add in the man-hours logged by police investigating the crime, attorney fees/court costs if the perpetrator is apprehended, and ultimately the enormous costs of incarceration, and you end up with a financial boondoggle that even Dear Leader might cringe at.

Think of the tens of millions, maybe hundreds of millions of dollars that could be saved if we would just start whacking a few more criminals!  Even at today's inflated ammo prices, delivering a "brass verdict" on the street only costs a buck or two.  I haven't even mentioned the deterrent effect on future criminals that would undoubtedly result from this new policy.  Remember Jefferson's words..."An armed society is a polite society".

We will call this new legislation the SACSTW Firearms and Individual Responsibility Enactment, better known as FIRE!  Maybe instituting this new legislation nation-wide might be too much at first.  Let's test it out in the areas it is needed most, you know, like cities over 250,000 in population governed by a Democrat.  

As a responsible carrier of a defensive firearm, I am tired of my tax money going to clean up after those people who refuse to make a commitment to their personal safety.  If I have to be buckling my seat belt, then you better be packing your gun.  Alas, I am skeptical of the chances of FIRE passing Congress, after all that would require liberals to disregard one of their basic tenets.....hypocrisy.

Barack Obama- Gun Enthusiast!

It's sad actually.  The President of the United States has so little strength of character, so little integrity, that he will pander to anyone, even evil gun owners!  Has this man ever met a constituency he wouldn't debase himself for?

By now you have probably seen the excerpts from the New Republic interview with Dear Leader swirling around on Facebook.

New Republic:  Have you ever fired a gun?

Dear Leader:  "Yes, in fact, up at Camp David we do skeet shooting all the time."

New Republic:  The whole family?

Dear Leader:  "Not the girls.  But oftentimes guests of mine go up there.  And I have a profound 
                         respect for the traditions of hunting that trace back in this country for generations...."

That flashing light and wailing siren you are now experiencing is the official SACSTW BS-O-Meter sounding the alarm!  Look people, anytime a liberal statist says the words "respect" and "hunting" in the same sentence, you know you are being fed an enormous pile of kaka.  Repeat after me.....The Second Amendment has nothing, and I mean nothing, to do with hunting or any other type of sportshooting.  To imply otherwise is simply ignorance or prevarication.

Fortunately, a covert mission by members of SHEAL Team 2 has uncovered the rest of the interview, the part that New Republic didn't want you to see, the part that proves Dear Leader is lying about going shooting "all the time".

New Republic:  Have you ever fired a gun?

Dear Leader:  Yes, in fact, up at Camp David we do skeet shooting all the time.  The skeets are pretty numerous up there, and we always have a good time.  Of course, I believe in eating what you harvest....skeets are a little tough and gamey sometimes, but the Camp David chef fries them up real nice, and serves them with a red wine reduction that is to die for!

Need more proof?  You can find images of just about anything you want at Google Images.  You've seen lots of them here at SACSTW.  Pictures of hung-over polar bears, hot chicks with guns, half-naked Russian strongmen fly fishing, you name it.  Guess what you can't find?  A picture of Barack Obama skeet shooting.
Do a Google Images search for that phrase, and this is the closest you get.....

Maybe the pool was full of skeets.....

Monday Musings With The Crew

This week's edition of Monday Musings has it all....sex, violence, insanity..... and maybe, just maybe...my all time favorite video clip!  Here we go!

• We've all been there right?  Driving around with your significant other, and idle chitchat turns into a heated argument.  That's what happened in Florida recently to Yvonne Martinez and her boyfriend, Ricardo Davis.  Things escalated a little past the norm for these two however, and the discussion ended when Davis bit off his girl's left thumb and spit it out onto the floorboard of the car.  What kind of choppers must this guy have?  Yikes!

• Speaking of toothy creatures on the loose, 15,000 head of livestock from a South African farm escaped last week due to floodwaters from a nearby river.  Did I mention it was a crocodile farm?  A spokesman for the largest U.S. crocodile farm said this kind of thing could never happen to them because..."The Potomac will never rise far enough to threaten Capitol Hill".  

• Wrangler has introduced a line of jeans that contain moisturizers like apricot oil and shea butter in the fabric.  Reputed to reduce itchy dry skin during the winter, the "spa denim" jeans are available for women only at this time.  Wrangler is considering a men's line of the jeans, no word yet on whether they will be packaged together with a white tube sock.  

• This is Mikel Ruffinelli.   The Los Angeles woman was recently certified by the World Record Academy as having the world's largest hips.  All I can really say about this is the folks at the World Record Academy need to spend some more time at WalMart.  Ms. Ruffinelli is a bronze medalist at best.  

• More crocodile news....A Minnesota lawyer has had his law license suspended after he had a torrid affair with a woman he was representing in a divorce case.  Oh yeah, he also billed the woman for the time they spent having sex.  While his law license is suspended, Thomas Lowe plans to combine his two careers and see clients at the Bunny Ranch in Las Vegas. 

• And here it is, maybe my all time favorite video clip.....   All of us learned as youngsters that nature can be harsh and violent.  You know, watching the leopard drag down the gazelle on Wild Kingdom, or even seeing the neighbor's cat pluck a sparrow from a shrub.  All of us that is....except this guy...........

Somewhere....Lennie Small is screaming!

Remarkable Honesty From CBS- Dump The Constitution!

Hey, who ever said that mainstream media was disingenous and deceitful in their true objectives?  Well, I have, but I digress.  This morning on CBS's Sunday Morning show, the network pulled back the curtain on their disdain for our heritage.  Charles Osgood aired this video clip from a Georgetown Constitutional Law professor on how we would all be better off by dumping that nasty old Constitution....





Let me just ask one question here.....what the hell is with all these "Constitutional Law" professors who have utter disdain and contempt for the Constitution?  For crying out loud, we elected one President.....twice!  If you are writing a tuition check to Georgetown and your child is in Constitution 101 with Professor Seidman, how are you feeling right about now?

In Seidman's ludicrous commentary, he says we wouldn't want France or the United Nations governing us.  Umm, Lewie baby, you do realize that what keeps such things from happening is in fact, the Constitution right?

Maybe Seidman should pay a little more attention to that "just woke up under the overpass" facial hair of his, and leave my damn Constitution alone!

Wisdom And Idiocy In Wisconsin

An interesting component to the whole gun control/self defense/Second Amendment story these last few weeks has been the disparate voices coming from the law enforcement community.  Elected county sheriffs seem to be leading the charge when it comes to recognizing the right and even duty of private citizens to protect themselves.

Sheriff David Clarke of Milwaukee County, WI made news recently when he aired a radio ad asking his constituents to consider arming themselves for self-defense.  Here's the audio of the ad....

Predictably, this hefty dose of common sense was too much to swallow for the lefty moonbats that infest Wisconsin.  Roy Felber, president of the Milwaukee Deputy Sheriff's Association, said this about Clarke's ad....

"That doesn't sound too smart.  People have the right to defend themselves, but they don't have the right to take the law into their own hands."

Milwaukee mayor Tom Barrett piled on....

"Apparently, Sheriff David Clarke is auditioning for the next Dirty Harry movie..."

Not to be out-done by her fellow moonbats, Jeri Bonavia of the anti-gun lobbying group Wisconsin Anti-Violence Effort demanded an apology from Sheriff Clarke....

"I feel like this is such an irresponsible thing for our chief public safety officer of a county to do.  I think he owes this community an apology,  and if he really believes that he's not capable of providing for our public safety he should get a different job."

Quiz time.....
If you do as Sheriff Clarke suggests....that is obtain a firearm, train with it to become safe and proficient in its use, and then use it to defend yourself and your loved ones against a violent criminal invading your home, you are which of the following?

1. a vigilante
2. a Dirty Harry wannabe
3. irresponsible
4. all of the above

What we need most now is more wisdom from men like Sheriff Clarke, and less idiocy from dolts like Tom Barrett and Jeri Bonavia.  Want to learn a little more about Sheriff Clarke?  Read his bio here, and check out his blog here.

Babe, Put Down The M-16 And Make Me A Sammich!

In March of last year, Sahib and I announced the formation of our new political movement....White Heterosexual American Males Only, better known as WHAMO.  You can read the founding document of WHAMO here.  You may be wondering why you haven't heard much about WHAMO since then, and I am here today to tell you why.

Given that an organization such as WHAMO engenders incoherence, rage, and hissy fits in many liberals, Sahib and I decided that WHAMO's first order of business was the development of an elite security and counter-insurgency force.  For the last ten months, we have been in the planning and development phases of this project.  Now that SecDef Panetta has approved women in combat, the time has come to announce to the world the special-operations arm of WHAMO security.

This ultra-elite commando unit's official title is Security-Housecleaning-Erotica-Armaments-and Libations,......but they will be better know as.......the SHEALs.

I have authorized the SACSTW offical photographer to release some early training images from the first group of SHEALs to make it through the grueling program......

As you can see, the training regimen of the SHEALs is arduous and harsh, but the troops are holding up very well to this point.  Sahib and I have direct operational control over all SHEAL units, and have tasked the group with a specific set of duties....

• Provide security at all events attended by significant numbers of WHAMO members.  Includes but not limited to.....Super Bowl parties, poker tournaments, and fishing trips..  

• Provide executive protection services for the WHAMO command structure, particularly if WHAMO personnel are to be within 5 miles of any of the following people
• Debbie Wasserman-Schulz
• Barney Frank
• Nancy Pelosi
• Emanuel Cleaver

• SHEALs will be expected to maintain their own garrison, and the quarters of WHAMO officers, in a professional and tidy condition.  Quarters are subject to inspection by WHAMO officers at any time.

• SHEALs will at all times be garbed in one of the several WHAMO approved ensembles, examples of these may be seen above.

• SHEALs will be in charge of maintaining and protecting the WHAMO Armory, and will conduct live-fire exercises as their leaders see fit.

• SHEALs will be prepared at all times to provide themselves and the WHAMO command structure with emergency rations as needed for survival.  Such rations are to consist primarily of mixed drinks and sandwiches. 

It is anticipated that additional duties appropriate for SHEAL teams will be identified in the coming months.  Although SHEAL Teams 1 and 2 are near operational readiness, Sahib and I's work is never done.  We will soon embark on a nation-wide recruiting mission, seeking out only the best of the best to wear the uniform of the SHEALs.  Look for the official SHEAL recruiting poster at a car show, Hooters, or beach volleyball tournament near you!