Chicago: the New Beirut

Signs that the Chicago Gun Turn-In was not successful were evident over the weekend. In continuation of what can only be called an orgy of violence, nine people were murdered and 37 were injured in Chicago over the weekend. Unsurprisingly, Mayor Ramen Noodle Emanuel called for Illinois "to pass stronger gun laws in this state." Again unsurprisingly showing a total lack of knowledge (or being intentionally deceitful) about the Illinois gun laws he said, "We're not talking about repealing conceal/ carry, but making sure we have a tougher set of laws dealing with assault weapons and other types of guns."

 Uh Rahm, just an FYI... Illinois is the only state out of all 57 that specifically bans carrying concealed guns. I guess maybe he meant that they wouldn't change the law to lift the ban.

 Contrast that story with this one from Jacksonville, Florida. A 57 year old grandfather with a concealed carry permit shot a killed an armed robber at a Dollar General Store and drove off his accomplice.

 So lets do the math shall we? A city in a state with the country's most restrictive gun laws is experiencing uncontrolled violence and mayhem. How many more robberies do you think Jacksonville Dollar General Stores can expect in the near future? My guess is not many.

 Is Rahm's solution arming citizens so they protect themselves? Not exactly... "I'd like to remind everybody that it also requires a community to step up," Emanuel said Monday at an unrelated press conference. "You're not a snitch, you have a role in community policing."

 Yes devoted readers one of Obama's closest friends and former adviser's strategy is to rat out that gang-banger, dope-dealer, pimp that is shooting up your neighborhood. But don't you dare carry a concealed gun to protect yourself, or Chicago's finest will be coming after you.

Emanuel and Menino Win Silver Hen!

Press Release

from the United States Poultry Producer Association

Poultry Industry Men Of The Year Award

Mayor Emanuel practices making chicken shadows with his hand in
one of his more lucid moments

Menino celebrates upon learning of his Silver Hen Award

The glorious Silver Hen Trophy

The United States Poultry Producer Association is pleased to announce the co-winners of the coveted Silver Hen Award for 2012.  Given to the individual(s) who have done the most to promote and encourage the consumption of poultry, the 2012 Silver Hen award goes to Rahm Emanuel, mayor of Chicago, and Tom Menino, mayor of Boston.  

Recently, Dan Cathy, the president of ChickFilA expressed his support for "the biblical" definition of marriage and family.  Reacting with predictable outrage, Mssrs. Emanuel and Menino lashed out at the privately held company.  Emanuel was quoted as saying "ChickFilA values are not Chicago values", and Menino sent a missive to Mr. Cathy admonishing him and advising him there is no place in Boston for ChickFilA.

After news of these comments spread across the nation, supporters of ChickFilA and lovers of free speech, conservative values, and white meat struck back.  Designating today, August 1st, as "Support ChickFilA" day, they descended on the company's 1,608 stores in droves.  Across the country, long lines of American freedom lovers waited for up to 90 minutes to express their support for private business by sinking their teeth into a juicy chicken sandwich.  

Inside a mall in Kansas City

Philadelphia

South Carolina traffic waiting to get to ChickFilA

Congratulations to Mayors Emanuel and Menino, for all their hard work and lunacy that resulted in the single greatest day in the history of the chicken sandwich!  

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Gays?

Because he wanted liberal politicians to violate the first amendment...

Add Ramen Noodle Emanuel to the list of liberal mayors wanting to ban Chick-fil-a from opening restaurants in his "fair" city.  Dan Cathy, the president of Chick-fil-a had the audacity in an interview to say that his company is unapologetically in favor of traditional marriage.  Unsurprisingly, this has the liberal and GLBT special interest groups with their undies in a very tight knot.

Interestingly, the obligatory calls for a boycott (which is well within their rights as consumers) is not enough for some.  No they need government officials using governmental power to bar a private business from opening because of religious opinions held by the business owners with which they disagree.

Now last time I was at Chick-fil-a, I wasn't required to kiss my wife to prove that I was heterosexual prior to purchasing a sandwich, so I'm not sure what grounds libs have for claiming discriminatory practices.  What I really hope is that Chicago and Boston are successful in barring Chick-fil-a in opening in their cities.  

I would love to see the Supreme Court get a hold of this one!  That is, as long as Chief Justice Roberts is able to kick that meth addiction before the case reaches him. 

Violence In Chicago To End On Saturday!

Let's say you are Joe Whiteywhacker, roaming the mean streets of Chicago on this beautiful Friday night in June.  You take a short break from felonious assault to drop in on your best girl Maria, only to find her in the sack with her nerdy boss.  Of course you are still carrying your work equipment, specifically a low-rent .38 revolver.  Two in the head for both Maria and Chad, and you're good to go.... right?  Wrong!  Now you gotta ditch your piece, can't get caught holding a murder weapon.

Good news Joe, all you have to do is turn your gat into the cops tomorrow!.  Not only will they take it from you no questions asked and destroy it, they will pay you $100 to boot!  Yes folks, once again it is time for Chicago's annual Murder Weapon Turn-In and Evidence Disposal Gala!

Saturday, June 23, Chicago police officers will be located at numerous churches throughout the city. They will take any and all weapons, no questions asked, and will be paying $100 per gun.  Just think, you can finally get rid of that old .22 that you killed the neighbor kid with, the 9MM you got from your mom's pimp when you turned 13, and even that beautiful vintage Colt you took off that old geezer when you bludgeoned him to death.

Heck, you get 4 or 5 of your thug buddies together, and you can come up with enough cash for something really cool like this.....
all courtesy of the Chicago Police Department.

Wait, it gets better.  Do you have any young goons in training in your home?  They can get $10 each for replica guns and BB guns at this year's event.  Now that really appeals to the capitalist in me.  Go down to every dollar store you can find, and clean them out of 99 cent cap guns.  Then.......Officer Friendly will gladly hand you $10 for each one of them.  Hey, where else in this economy can you make 900% profit overnight?  Besides carjacking I mean.

Of course this is all typically ludicrous liberal folderol.  There is NO, and I mean ZERO evidence that gun turn-in events have even the most microscopic benefit to society.  Why is Chicago such a violent and dangerous city?  Simple, it is a human shooting gallery.  Chicago in particular and Illinois in general are among the few places left in the U.S. where no citizen can legally carry a concealed firearm to defend themselves and their loved ones.  Joe and his buddies know this, and can feel free to cavort among the unarmed populace as violently as they wish.

If Mayor Emanuel and the Chicago PD were really serious about reducing violent crime in Chicago, they would hold a Gun Distribution Event.  Each tax-paying, law-abiding adult would receive a Glock 19, 2 magazines, and a voucher for 20 hours of training with an NRA instructor.  Then I might even feel safe enough to visit Chicago again.