Monday Musings

One of our many hallowed traditions here at SACSTW is Monday Musings with the Crew.  Let's face it, Mondays suck...so I try to gather up a few little nuggets of blazing insanity from over the weekend to get your week off to a good start.  Let's dive right in..

•  In what can only be described as the ultimate indictment of the left, Debbie Wasserman Schulz is still the chairman of the Democrat National Committee.  She had an interesting weekend on the talk show circuit, as first Tingles Matthews and then Chuck Todd asked her to explain the difference between a Democrat (Hillary Clinton) and a Socialist (Bernie Sanders). She ignored the question, instead "focusing" on the difference between Democrats and Republicans....

the difference between Democrats and Republicans is that Democrats want to make sure that people have the opportunity to climb the ladder of success and reach the middle class--
Debbie Wasserman Schulz 

          

           What DWS failed to mention is that the ladder of success can be climbed in both directions.  

           Her party is most interested in helping people reach the middle class by climbing DOWN that

           ladder. One of SACSTW's intrepid field reporters caught up with Ms. Wasserman Schulz to 

           ask her to elaborate..

          

• On Wednesday of this week, doctors at the Tufts University School of Veterinary Medicine will fit a chicken named Cecily with a $2,500 prosthetic leg.  Cecily's owner is paying for the procedure out of pocket.  Seems reasonable, after all you don't eat a great chicken like Cecily all at once.

• No matter how bad your weekend was, it was likely better than Colin Corkhill's.  The 26 year old Arizona man was jailed over the weekend on a number of charges.  He is now hospitalized after pulling his right eyeball out with his fingers in the jail.  Interestingly, all the TVs in the jail were tuned to MSNBC at the time of the ocular extraction.  Been there my friend...

• Looks like Piers Morgan, Michael Bloomberg, Barack Obama and the rest of the gun control

  

  FYI, Amy is in the foreground

  whackadoodles can stand down.  Over the weekend, actress Amy Schumer made this comment about gun violence..."don't worry, I'm on it.  You'll see."  Schumer's movie Trainwreck was playing in the Louisiana theater that John Houser shot up last month.  She is also the star of something called "Inside Amy Schumer".  Uh, no thanks.

• For all of us here at SACSTW, I'd like to say...Run Joe, Run!

Breaking News- Democrat Leaders React To Reynolds Outrage

Earlier today I posted an article about Mel Reynolds, convicted sexual criminal and all around putz, throwing his hat into the ring for his old seat in Congress recently vacated by Jesse Jackson Jr.  I have spent the rest of today compiling a video montage of outrage expressed by various leading Democrats that such a man would dare to run under their party's banner........

Monday Musings With The Crew

• Tom Priem and his wife were fed up.  The Austin, TX couple proudly displayed their Obama 2012 yard sign, while their neighbors yards were dotted with GOP signs.  The Priem's sign was repeatedly damaged, to the point that Tom called in a police report.  Finally, his wife was able to capture the conservative conspirator that had been savaging their sign.......

Obama has apparently lost the "gentle woodland creature" vote.

• Frantic residents of a Turkish province along the Black Sea notified authorities when they spotted a woman's body floating offshore.  Police blocked off the beach, and sent highly trained rescue divers into the waters off Samsun province to rescue what turned out to be.......an inflatable sex doll.  At presstime there had been no explanation of why Bill Clinton was in Turkey.  

• If you are a 14 year old girl in New York City, there are certain things you can and cannot do.  For example, you cannot purchase a 20oz soda after the approval last week of Big Gulp Bloomberg's ban on sweetened drinks larger than 16 oz.  You can however, get the "morning after" pill from your school nurse without your parent's knowledge.  Glad to know that the nation's largest city has its priorities straight.

• Finally, Democratic National Committee chair"person" Debbie Wasserman-Schulz has announced she will be leaving Congress to follow her lifelong dream of becoming a jazz singer.  Video of Wasserman-Schulz's recent rehearsal has surfaced........

Monday Musings With The Crew

Never let it be said that the Crew ignores the foibles and peccadillos of those on the right......

• The Senate campaign of Congressman Todd Akin (R-MO) crashed and burned on the abortion highway over the weekend.  Asked about aborting pregnancies caused by rape, the St. Louis conservative said that pregnancy is very rare in instances of rape...."If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try and shut that whole thing down".  The subsequent yowling from the "women's issues" crowd was predictable and deafening.  Look, I don't know why in the world Akin would say something so stupid, except that he is just another tone-deaf career politician.  That's why I didn't vote for him in the GOP primary!  

• Next up we have my favorite headline of the year, courtesy of the Kansas City Star....  "Congressman Yoder Apologizes for Swimming Nude in the Sea of Galilee".  The story refers to Congressman Kevin Yoder, (R-KS) who apparently took a quick skinny dip in the storied waters of Galilee in August of 2011 during a "private fact-finding" trip to the area.  No word on whether Yoder swam beneath the surface, or just walked across it.  Apparently, the simple act of being elected to Congress causes an immediate 50 point drop in IQ.  I am looking forward to seeing the Yoder incident on the next "Congressmen Gone Wild" DVD.  The gruesome details are available here.

Time for him to meet Allah

• It's been almost 3 years since Muslim terrorist Nidal Hasan murdered 13 people, and wounded another 30 in the Fort Hood incident.  Hasan still has not been tried for his crimes, the latest reason is that Hasan refuses to shave his beard.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME????  If the military courts want him clean-shaven at his trial, strap his ass down and shave his disgusting face!  Leaving the victims and their families twisting in the wind while this piece of pond scum games the system is unconscionable.  Even better, let's just drag him out behind the prison and deliver a brass verdict to the back of his cowardly skull.  I volunteer for the mission.  

• Plagues of locusts and rivers running red with blood are surely coming soon now that the Augusta National Golf Club has accepted its first two female members.  Augusta has finally caved to the incessant braying of the left, and turned its back on its own 80 years of tradition.  Nothing against the two new female members, Condoleeza Rice and Darla Moore, but I disagree with Augusta National chairman Billy Payne's characterization of the decision as a "joyous occasion".  I think it is just another sad skirmish in the war on men.  In related news, the first annual WHAMO golf tournament will now no longer be held at Augusta National as previously scheduled.  Sahib and I are searching for an alternate site.

• I'm always interested to hear what DNC chairwoman Debbie Wasserman-Schulz has to say about current events.  Here is a short clip of her latest comments on the Romney-Ryan ticket.......frankly she's never been more lucid or lovely!

DNC HQ Video from June 6

Video of the Year Candidate!

Debbie Wasserman-Schultz has looked better...

Cavernous Trachea Bombshell! Is Obama the Antichrist?

Last night as I was (belatedly) preparing my motorcycle for the riding season, I opened a saddlebag to store my new registration and proof of insurance.  In the bottom was a USB flash drive with a note attached.  It said: "Dear Sahib and The Crew, I have gone to great lengths risking life and limbs to provide you with this audio recording of Dear Leader Obama and his inner circle.  Please share this with your readers.  The world must know!  Your friend, CT."  I immediately contacted The Crew. Below is a transcript of what we heard.  It is truly terrifying.

BHO:  Welcome everyone.  Before we get started, what does everyone think of my new tat?  What?  Isn't it obvious?  It's Warren Buffet and George Soros making out.  Pretty cool huh?  

OK, let's get down to business.  I've come up with a plan that will accomplish the vast majority of our goals in one fell swoop.  Yes Joe?  No you can't turn on the Cartoon Network.  Please pay attention.  Like I was saying, I have a new plan.  Here are the basics:

• It isn't fair that income tax is the only tax that is progressive, so we are making all taxes progressive.

• Charitable contributions to groups and organizations deemed discriminatory will be taxed.  The people making the charitable contributions will pay the tax, not the group or organization receiving the contributions.

• Financial transactions using currency and precious metals is out-dated and difficult for us to track.  I am eliminating physical US currency and making private ownership of precious metals illegal.  

Those are the basics.  We increase the number of people dependent on government support and play on their class envy by showing we are making the rich pay their fair share. This will also choke off funds to groups we find offensive and cause them to fade into oblivion. The masses will love it!  We'll be in power forever. Questions?  Yes Tim.

Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner (TG):   I get the gist of your plan, but am a little concerned how you plan to implement it.  Does everyone get like a government debit card that has their tax bracket and access to their financial accounts?  If so, how do we keep rich people from paying poor people to buy stuff for them using their lower bracket cards?  Also, what kind of groups would be considered "discriminatory"?

BHO:  Excellent questions Tim!  This is the beauty of my plan.  There are no cards. Each person has a programmable chip with their information embedded in their right hand.  If they don't have a right hand, it's embedded in their forehead.   No person-to-person financial transactions are allowed.  All payments for goods and services go through a federal transaction system.  Any suspicious transactions will be flagged and investigated. Violators will be imprisoned. 

As to your question about which groups would be considered discriminatory, the usual suspects.  You know the Boy Scouts, evangelical Christian denominations, the Salvation Army, the RNC etcetera, etcetera. Anyone else?  Yes, Hillary. 

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton (HRC):  I'm a little concerned about public response to your plan. Having been often referred to as Lucifer's mistress, usually by Bill but by others as well, I am uniquely sensitive to certain religious parallels being drawn.  Aren't you worried about people referring to the chips as "the mark of the beast"?

Deep, slow, chuckle from BHO

BHO:  I'm sure there will be a few religious whackos that will make that comparison, but it's not like we're making everyone get 666 tattoos. (Another chuckle) Next question. Yes, Debbie. 

DNC Chairperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (DWS):  How did you come up with the plan and what are you going to call the new federal agency to oversee it?

BHO:  The plan was told to me by the voice behind the glowing red... I mean I thought of it myself. The new agency will be called the department of  State Annuity Transactions And Numeration.

Well, that's enough questions for this evening.  We'll iron out the details later.  Stanley's (Obama's unicorn) been waiting patiently this whole time for our evening ride on the South Lawn.

This was the end of the recording.  After listening to the recording with The Crew, and waiting for my terror level to diminish, I went back out to my motorcycle to look for more clues as to CT's identity.  I noticed some drops of liquid that at first looked like motor oil.  On closer inspection, it was oil, but not motor oil.  I'm no expert, but I think it was crude oil.  Hmmmmm...