First They Came for Barbie: Feminists Run Amok

Behold this travesty against women and young girls!

A few weeks ago I decried the death of the civil rights movement in my post, "When did I have a dream, become I have a hoodie?"  After some reflection, the civil rights movement is positively vibrant compared to the feminist movement.  


After successfully insisting on breast-reduction surgery for Barbie in the late '90, the feminists have turned their ire to Lego.  Yes devoted readers, you read that right.  Lego.  The Spark (Sexualization, Protest, Action, Resistance, Knowledge) movement has targeted the new Lego Friends as an evil that must not go unchallenged.  

"Ladyfigs are somewhat anatomically correct, which hypersexualizes girls, according to the group.  'They have little breasts and they have fancy hair,' the organization's executive director, Dana Edell, told FoxNews.com. 'And it just disturbs us that this is the image that they want girls to see.'"

So according to Ms. Edell, girls want to be flat-chested with drab hair?  Of course, her true agenda came through in her next quote.

"What it's doing is telling girls that this is what's important to you," Edell said of the beauty parlor and hot tub sets. "Girls aren't building space shuttles, they're getting their nails done."

Ahh, Bach!  (for M*A*S*H fans)  It's not that the little Lego girl has vaguely feminine features that has Ms. Edell's undergarments in a twist, it's that she has girly-stuff accessories.  I understand why situations like these confuse liberals in general and feminists specifically.  In the liberal Utopia, the masses are told what to buy, think, and feel by those who know what's best for them.  It would never occur to them to... maybe... just not buy Lego Friends?  Last time I checked, Lego security is not manning store toy departments and smacking Space Shuttle Lego kits out of little girls' hands.  I don't believe a Y chromosome check is required to purchase Harry Potter sets.

Hey!  I have a novel idea.  Lego exists to make money right?  So if people don't buy Lego Friends, they don't make as much money, right?  So just maybe, if enough people who agree with Ms. Edell don't buy Lego Friends, Lego will stop making them because they are not generating revenue.  Of course it is also possible that Ms. Edell and her merry maids are the lunatic fringe and Lego Friends may be wildly popular with little girls.  Why don't we let market forces decide?  That would, however; require allowing people the freedom to CHOOSE how they wish to spend their money.  And we all know how much liberals love that!

So this is what the feminist movement has devolved into, breast reductions for plastic dolls, dictating product line decisions to private companies, and demanding free birth control pills.  As with most liberal movements, the feminist movement has long ago confused the fight for equal opportunity with the demand of equal outcome. Susan B. Anthony would be so proud.  If she had a daughter, I'm sure she would look just like Sandra Fluke.

Sahib and The Crew Launch New Business Venture: Feminsurance

Feminsurance TM. 

Because heartless conservative men refuse to allow the government to force insurance companies to completely pay for your birth control!

Today, Sahib and The Crew in coordination with the WHAMO! (White Heterosexual American Males Only!) movement are branching into the health insurance business.  Let it never be said that Sahib and The Crew do not have our sisters in the leftist feminist movement at heart.  As it becomes apparent that SCOTUS is likely to scuttle Obamacare as unconstitutional, we have decided to jump into the breach to meet the feminist needs.

Today, we are proud to announce...... Feminsurance TM.

• Are you tired of having to pay anything for birth control pills?  

•  Are you fed up with your insurance premiums being wasted on circumcisions, prostate exams, testicular cancer treatments, and erectile dysfunction medicines for men only?
•  Would you like to see chocolate prescriptions designated as a medical necessity? 
• Would you like to see fertility treatments covered for single women and women partners only? 

If your answer to any of these questions is 'YES',  sign up for Feminsurance TM. today! SACSTW operators are standing by.

But WAIT!  There's more!  We excited to announce that SACSTW and WHAMO! are in negotiations with none other than women's reproductive rights champion, Sandra Fluke, to be our spokesperson for Feminsurance TM.  We will keep you abreast of the negotiations.

Devoted SACSTW readers and charter WHAMO! members, please join us in this effort to meet the plight of our sisters on the left.  Because really, who should have to pay $9 a month for birth control pills?