Big Changes For Hollywood HOs Award....

One of our regular tasks here at SACSTW is awarding the Hollywood Hall of Shame award, or Hollywood HOs for short.  A brilliant creation of Sahib's, this award goes to the celebrity who best embodies the brain-dead, liberal-dogma spouting, narcissistic traits that we all have come to love in our Hollywood heroes.

I'm going to take some liberties today with Sahib's award, and announce a name change...     The Hollywood Hall of Shame award will now (at least for this week) be known as "The Miley".  I have a team of designers and sculptors feverishly working to produce a trophy, but can share this image of the prototype design with you today.....

Anyway, on with the countdown.  Several excellent contenders were vying for the very first Miley, but the judges selected Gwyneth "Fast and Furious" Paltrow.  The actress was an absolute menace on the roads this week, cutting off a school bus while riding her scooter with daughter Apple (don't get me started...).  Husband Chris Martin followed close behind on another Vespa, and the pair haughtily "zoomed" through traffic creating their own lane as they went.  Watch for yourself....

The Paltrow's narrowly averted making Applesauce out of their daughter, and in doing so are this week's Miley Award winners!

P.S.  I've never really gotten the "Gwyneth is so hot" thing.  Your thoughts?

Is the Apocalypse Upon Us?

Well devoted readers, it's been a while.  While The Crew and I have taken a bit of a sabbatical to recharge the batteries and restore the creative juices, there is just so much going on in the world we couldn't stay away any longer.  The world has become even a stranger place than when we took our little break.  Here are just a few of the signs that the apocalypse may be upon us:

• Twerk and selfie have been added to the Oxford dictionary.  My late high school English teacher is spinning in his grave.
• Hannah Montana has out-skanked Madonna, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton combined.
• Democrats are wanting to bomb middle-eastern countries and Republicans are against it.
• Beefcake Vlad Putin is actually photographed with his shirt ON and is now the voice of reason in the middle-east. 
• Some middle-aged white dude dressed like Beetlejuice has the pop "song of the summer".
• Lindsay Lohan's 423 trip to rehab might be the one that takes.
• Actual news headlines that include:  "Weiner Accused of Abusing Staff" and "NYPD Denies Accusations of Vagina Slapping in Bong Throwing Incident"
• And last but not least... Sahib has been posting comments on the Huffington Post. (I feel so dirty...)

Those are just a few things that have caught my eye in recent months.  Check back soon for more!  It's good to be back.

Weekly Hollywood HOs Winner: Morgan Freeman

Hollywood HOs

Weekly Winner: Morgan Freeman

We have several deserving nominees for this week's Hollywood HOs (Hall of Shame) winner.  We have Miley Cyrus attempting to join former pantheon of skankhood laureates Madonna, Britney Spears, and Paris Hilton.  We have parent of the year nominee, Cindy Crawford, ushering her 10 year old daughter into a life of eating disorders, pedophiles, narcissism, and addiction.

But this week's winner is a dual award winner.  Not only has Morgan Freeman won this week's Hollywood HOs award, he has also won the coveted Woody Allen Creepy Patriarch Lifetime Achievement award.  Mr. Freeman has apparently either married or intends to marry his, get ready for it... GRANDDAUGHTER

OK, she is only his "step" granddaughter, but EWWWWWWW!  In general, I feel that the use of "EWWWWWWW!" is unmanly in the extreme, but nothing else quite suffices.  My first memories of Morgan are of him on the children's show The Electric Company in the 70's.  Considering media reports that he has married, intends to marry, or in the very least  is having a relationship with a woman 45 years his junior that began when she was 17, again I say EWWWWWWW!

My 12 year old son just walked by as I was writing this post and saw the picture of Morgan Freeman, but not the text.  He asked, "Is that Morgan Freeman?"  I said, "Yes."  He asked, "How old is he?"  I said, "74."  He asked, "Is he still doing stuff?"  I nodded and as he walked away I said softly, "Apparently."

*Editor's note:  At times, we take some creative liberties in our stories.  The preceding paragraph is a 100% factual account of my conversation with my son.

Monday Musings With The Crew

• Why did the University of Kansas hire the transgender child of Sonny and Cher to coach their football team?  What, was Renee Richards unavailable?

• Newt, I'm trying really hard to support you in the GOP primary.  I love your knowledge of history, your ability to pick apart the foibles and fallacies of the Obama administration, and your ability to rise from the electoral dead.  What I don't love is when you criticize Mitt Romney on his wealth, his Swiss/Cayman Island bank accounts, his tax returns, blah blah blah.  That is a page right out of the "Class Warfare" chapter of the secular progressive handbook.  Very unbecoming for one who purports to be the "conservative" candidate in the GOP field.  You can be better than that.

• The Crew would like to nominate Miley Cyrus as a candidate for this week's Hollywood HOs award.  Photographed making "lingual" advances to her boyfriend's phallic shaped birthday cake  last week, Miley has certainly come a long way!  Gee, who would have guessed that Hannah Montana would turn out to be a ridiculous skank?  Uh, maybe everybody who saw this performance the 16 yr old Cyrus put on at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards:

Hmmm, daughter working the pole at age 16... nice work Billy Ray

• Continuing the theme, supermodel Cindy Crawford's daughter made her modeling debut for Versace this week, appearing in an ad for Young Versace, a clothing line aimed at children 12 and under and pedophiles.  Here is Kaia Crawford in the ad:

Now Crew, you are saying.... the leather jacket, miniskirt, and loads of makeup are all a bit much for a teenage girl, but it's nothing obscene.  Well, technically you are right.  Oh, did I mention that Kaia Crawford is TEN years old?  Consider Mama Cindy up for a Hollywood HOs as well.

• I (Sahib) needed to make an addition to the Crew's Monday Musings.  We just couldn't leave this story out.  A young man, 6, in California was suspended and charged with sexual assault for playing tag.  Check out the Fox News video.  A seventeen year old  snowball thrower is in trouble as well. I guess snowballs are now officially classified as missiles.