Is the Apocalypse Upon Us?

Well devoted readers, it's been a while.  While The Crew and I have taken a bit of a sabbatical to recharge the batteries and restore the creative juices, there is just so much going on in the world we couldn't stay away any longer.  The world has become even a stranger place than when we took our little break.  Here are just a few of the signs that the apocalypse may be upon us:

• Twerk and selfie have been added to the Oxford dictionary.  My late high school English teacher is spinning in his grave.
• Hannah Montana has out-skanked Madonna, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton combined.
• Democrats are wanting to bomb middle-eastern countries and Republicans are against it.
• Beefcake Vlad Putin is actually photographed with his shirt ON and is now the voice of reason in the middle-east. 
• Some middle-aged white dude dressed like Beetlejuice has the pop "song of the summer".
• Lindsay Lohan's 423 trip to rehab might be the one that takes.
• Actual news headlines that include:  "Weiner Accused of Abusing Staff" and "NYPD Denies Accusations of Vagina Slapping in Bong Throwing Incident"
• And last but not least... Sahib has been posting comments on the Huffington Post. (I feel so dirty...)

Those are just a few things that have caught my eye in recent months.  Check back soon for more!  It's good to be back.

New Secret Agent Movie To Premiere In November!

Can someone please tell Vladimir to put his damn shirt on!

American Crossroads: Operation Hot Mic

Very funny, and scary...

Monday Musings With The Crew

• Dear Leader got his thong in a knot when asked about current White House security leaks, and whether they were done intentionally to bolster the Obama 2012 campaign. Sayeth Obama:  "The notion that my White House would purposely release classified national security information is offensive...".  Um, Barry, it's your administration, your re-election campaign, your Democrat Party.....but it's OUR WHITE HOUSE!  You are simply the current (and very temporary) tenant.  There's no squatter's rights at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue buddy.

• Secretary of Commerce John Bryson had a fun weekend.  Saturday afternoon in Los Angeles, Bryson was cited for felony hit and run after causing 2 separate car accidents within a few minutes of each other.  Bryson fled the scene after striking the first vehicle, and a few minutes later crashed into another vehicle. He was found unconscious in his car at the second accident site, and admitted to a hospital with "non-life threatening injuries". A Commerce Department spokesman said that Secretary Bryson's felonious actions were caused by "a seizure" that he suffered at the time of the incident.  No confirmation of that claim is forthcoming from either law enforcement or the hospital at the time of this writing.  Hmm.  A "seizure".  I'll have to remember that one.  I'm sure that Secretary Bryson will be treated just like you and I would in the same situation.  Stay tuned.

• Harley Hanson is the "Exalted Cyclops" of the KKK's Realm of Georgia, and wants the KKK to adopt a 1 mile stretch of Georgia Route 515 for litter control.  The Georgia Department of Transportation is considering the request.  If it is approved, the Klan will be responsible for removing littter from the roadway several times a year.  Interestingly, the Klan has indicated they are willing to remove litter from the roadside ditches and shoulder, but not the blacktop itself.  

• I've told you before how much fun having Vlad Putin back in town was going to be, now take a look at these figures from foxnews.com.  Putin and his Parliament lackeys have introduced a new schedule of fines for various offenses.  A few of the more fun ones are listed here...
• Illegal use of an automobile    $3600
• Prostitution                            $75
• Nuclear Material storage violation by a private citizen      $150    (???)
• Participating in an unauthorized protest against the government     $9000

         So, here's the bottom line in Putinville.  You can carjack a van, throw in half a dozen hookers 

         and a couple suitcases full of plutonium, and still be about $4800 bucks ahead of this guy....

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