Monday Musings With The Crew---Adios 2012

No dear readers, Sahib and I have not fallen over the fiscal cliff and taken our keyboards with us.  We've just been on a little holiday sabbatical, spending some time with friends and family.  Today, I'm sitting in my office watching the snow come down, and listening to clients calling in to cancel their appointments.  Ugh.  Anyway, on with the countdown.....

• Frankly, I am sick and tired of hearing the phrase "fiscal cliff".  I have news for you.....we went over the fiscal cliff a LONG time ago.  To be precise, we did a full gainer off the cliff on October 3, 2008, when then President George W. Bush signed the TARP bill into law.  The only question now is do we limp away from the landing with our tax rates and national security intact, or do we auger into the ground and have Dear Leader drop an anvil on our head a la Wile E. Coyote.  Reminds me of the old Norm McDonald joke......"there's only two kinds of cliff divers, world champions......and stuff on a rock"   

• As a young man growing up in Kansas, and then attending a land grant university (insert Silo Tech joke here), I am familiar with the old prank of "cow tipping".  What I didn't know is that the art has been perfected by our Russian comrades.....

• In what is surely a more accurate sign of impending doom than any Mayan calendar, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby.  Obviously the child will grow up to be a well-adjusted member of society, and make great contributions to the furthering of the human condition. We can only hope the little whippersnapper is smart enough not to donate any money to his daddy's charities... 

• Pennsylvania police have charged Benjamin Klinger with a multitude of charges stemming from the death of his 17 year old girlfriend in a car crash.  Police allege that Klinger intentionally crashed the car the two were riding in (at over 100 mph), and then sat on his injured girlfriend until she died of suffocation.  Senator Diane Feinstein immediately reacted by adding "the sitting position" to her upcoming weapons ban bill.  

• While we are on the topic of deadly weapons......how about the story of Franziska Hansen?  The 33 year old German woman is accused of attempting to murder her boyfriend during sex by suffocating him with her 38 DD breasts.  The boyfriend, Tim Schmidt, was able to escape the murderous confines of Franziska's cleavage, and ran naked to a neighbor's home to call police.  Schmidt claims that Hansen later admitted to him her intent, saying "I wanted your death to be as pleasurable as possible". We should all be so fortunate.....In response to this story,  the state of Massachusetts has asked Barney Frank to register his bad boys as potential deadly weapons...

• I don't know about you, but I am ready to kiss 2012 sayonara.  It was a crappy year for this country, for individual freedoms, personal responsibility, and most of the other things conservatives hold dear.  Chief Justice John Roberts lost his mind, the American electorate decided to vote for more handouts and less freedom, and the Kansas City Chiefs went 2-14.  Check please!

New Secret Agent Movie To Premiere In November!

Can someone please tell Vladimir to put his damn shirt on!

Moscow Rocked By Pussy Riot!

For everyone's safety, the Pussy Riot was confined
to a glass cage during the trial

In the midst of  my usual 5 minutes of research for a post, I learned to my chagrin that "Pussy Riot" was a band, not an event.  Although that took a little of the luster off a few of my puns, I decided to soldier on like the busy little beaver I am.  

Yeah, Weiner Riot is
probably more his thing

Formed in Moscow about a year ago, Pussy Riot is prone to giving impromptu feminist punk rock performances, usually in protest of Russian President Vladimir Putin.  In February of this year, they did just that in a Russian Orthodox Cathedral in Moscow.  Shortly after breaking into a little ditty called "Mother of God, Put Putin Away", bandmembers were led out by church officials.  

Three bandmembers were arrested in March, and on June 4 were officially charged in an indictment that ran 2,800 pages!  The Moscow Prosecuting Attorney, Nanciya Pelosivitch, commented that "we will have to have the trial to see what is in the indictment".  

In a decision reached at the end of last week, Pussy Riot has been convicted of "committing hooliganism driven by religious hatred" and sentenced to 2 years in prison.  The trial was marked by witnesses accusing the three women of "devilish dances".  No information has been made available as to why the town elders from Footloose were testifying in the trial of a Russian fem-punk band.  

The conviction and sentence has sparked great outrage among Western musicians including Madonna, Sir Paul McCartney, and Bjork among others.  Websites like freepussyriot.org are clamoring for the band's release.  Again, please note before clicking that link...."pussy riot" is a musical group, NOT an event, violent gathering, or other group activity.  Just trying to look out for my readers.....

American Crossroads: Operation Hot Mic

Very funny, and scary...

Monday Musings With The Crew

• Dear Leader got his thong in a knot when asked about current White House security leaks, and whether they were done intentionally to bolster the Obama 2012 campaign. Sayeth Obama:  "The notion that my White House would purposely release classified national security information is offensive...".  Um, Barry, it's your administration, your re-election campaign, your Democrat Party.....but it's OUR WHITE HOUSE!  You are simply the current (and very temporary) tenant.  There's no squatter's rights at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue buddy.

• Secretary of Commerce John Bryson had a fun weekend.  Saturday afternoon in Los Angeles, Bryson was cited for felony hit and run after causing 2 separate car accidents within a few minutes of each other.  Bryson fled the scene after striking the first vehicle, and a few minutes later crashed into another vehicle. He was found unconscious in his car at the second accident site, and admitted to a hospital with "non-life threatening injuries". A Commerce Department spokesman said that Secretary Bryson's felonious actions were caused by "a seizure" that he suffered at the time of the incident.  No confirmation of that claim is forthcoming from either law enforcement or the hospital at the time of this writing.  Hmm.  A "seizure".  I'll have to remember that one.  I'm sure that Secretary Bryson will be treated just like you and I would in the same situation.  Stay tuned.

• Harley Hanson is the "Exalted Cyclops" of the KKK's Realm of Georgia, and wants the KKK to adopt a 1 mile stretch of Georgia Route 515 for litter control.  The Georgia Department of Transportation is considering the request.  If it is approved, the Klan will be responsible for removing littter from the roadway several times a year.  Interestingly, the Klan has indicated they are willing to remove litter from the roadside ditches and shoulder, but not the blacktop itself.  

• I've told you before how much fun having Vlad Putin back in town was going to be, now take a look at these figures from foxnews.com.  Putin and his Parliament lackeys have introduced a new schedule of fines for various offenses.  A few of the more fun ones are listed here...
• Illegal use of an automobile    $3600
• Prostitution                            $75
• Nuclear Material storage violation by a private citizen      $150    (???)
• Participating in an unauthorized protest against the government     $9000

         So, here's the bottom line in Putinville.  You can carjack a van, throw in half a dozen hookers 

         and a couple suitcases full of plutonium, and still be about $4800 bucks ahead of this guy....

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Monday Musings With The Crew

Yeah Homer, I know.  Mondays are tough.  At least you can count on another edition of Monday Musings With The Crew to lift your spirits and get your week off to a good start!  Here we go......

• Maybe all this talk about the United States losing its role as world leader and example for other countries was a little premature.  After all, France has followed the American model by electing a Socialist president, Francois Hollande, to replace the more conservative Nikolas Sarkozy.  Voter anger over "austerity measures" in Europe fueled the election of the first leftist in France since Mitterand left office in 1995.   Note to reader-  when you read the phrase "austerity measures", just think "desperate attempts to keep Europe from complete and total financial devastation and societal de-evolution".  The French electorate has just said "Screw that, let's get back to spending Other People's Money!".  Party on Francois!

Cast, flex, reel in.  Cast , flex, reel in....

• More good news from the head of state milieu.....Our old buddy Vladimir Putin has taken the oath of office for a new 6 year term as Russia's President.  Let's review....Putin became President in 2000, was term limited out in 2008.  At that time he became Prime Minister and his lapdog Dmitry Medvedev became "President".  What was Vlad's first official act as President Redux?  He nominated Medvedev to serve as his Prime Minister.  Isn't that cozy?  Seems like I remember reading some predictions about this somewhere.....

• From the "if a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it" department...... A man exposed himself inside an office in Bucks County, PA last week.  We here at SACSTW don't usually comment on willy-waggers, typically we prefer more refined, sophisticated content.  However, this particular dingus-dangler very nearly committed the perfect, victimless crime.  He exposed himself inside the offices of the Bucks County Association for the Blind.  Unfortunately for our hero, the offices of the Association for the Blind are staffed by people who are not, in fact, blind.  I think when and if this desperado is finally caught, he should sue the association for misrepresentation!

• In what I believe is the 3rd sign of the Apocalypse, Saturday Night Live had a funny skit this weekend.  Host Eli Manning did a parody of Big Brothers that was worth a look...

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Monday Musings With The Crew

• While our national media and central government were busy discussing the sexual appetites of a Georgetown University law student, you might have missed this "shocking" event over the weekend.  As predicted in this space back in October, former KGB strongman Vladimir Putin has regained the presidency of Russia.  Despite reports of massive voting fraud, including an admission from Mikhail Gorbachev that "these are not going to be honest elections", Putin is back in the office he previously held from 2000-2008.  He now has another 6 years to work on his vision of a "Eurasian Union", a Moscow-led conglomerate of nation-states that he says will be based on trade, not ideology.  Right.  Just like the KGB was based on protecting the rights of individual citizens of the Soviet Union.  

• Dear Leader has recently been blowing his own horn about how American oil production is up under his "leadership".  This is just another example of progressives taking credit for things they have nothing to do with.  Let's look at the facts as supplied by the Institute of Energy Research:
• Oil production on federal lands in FY2011 declined 11% from FY2010.  Oil production on state-owned and private lands increased 14% in the same time period.
• Natural gas production on federal lands in FY2011 declined 27% from FY2010.  Natural gas production on state-owned and private lands increased 28% in the same time period.
• The Obama administration is woeful when it comes to getting American energy resources to its citizens.  But hey, I'm sure they will do much better with your health care!

• Senator Olympia Snowe (R- Maine) has announced she will not seek re-election in 2012.  Her decision was bemoaned by Marjorie Clifton in the Huffington Post as "tragedy in Washington".  Clifton called Snowe "the epitome of a good politician", citing as evidence that fact that Snowe was the only Republican senator to vote for Obamacare.  Let's review....Republicans are good politicians only when they agree with the secular-progressive agenda for a central government dominated America.  Got it.

• I found this headline on the website of the Belfast Telegraph this morning...."Buried Alive Challenger Dug Up Dead".  It seems that 24 year old Janaka Basnayake of Sri Lanka was attempting to set a world record for the longest time buried alive.  After spending about 6.5 hours buried in a 10 foot deep trench, Basnayake was dug up and taken to a hospital where he was dead on arrival.  Here's what I found most interesting.  The article states that "doctors were not immediately able to determine how he died".  Note to self....scratch Sri Lanka off the places to go when needing a medical condition diagnosed!

• Oh, those wacky school teachers!  New York public school teacher Melissa Dean recently had her 5th grade class write cards to her boyfriend John Coccarelli because she "thought it was a nice thing to do".  How sweet.  What she didn't mention to the students was Mr. Coccarelli is a guest of the New York penal system on a weapons possession beef, and was also charged in 2008 with possession of child pornography.  Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside about the teaching profession, doesn't it?

• Finally, there's this.....

Talk amongst yourselves....

Is Obama an Idiot? (about Iran)

I've decided that my oldest son, Sahib Jr., should be the Secretary of State.  Being as he is only 12, we could have potential child labor issues, but he definitely would cut through the crap.  He asked me the other day, "Dad, what's all this stuff about Iran and atomic bombs?"  He did a National History Day project on the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and is interested in the topic.  I outlined the situation and asked his opinion.  He replied, "They're stalling."  I asked him to explain.  He said, "It's like in wrestling when I'm up big on a stronger kid late in the match.  As long as I don't do something dumb and get pinned, I'm gonna win.  So I stall.  That's what they are doing."

And there you have it devoted readers... wisdom from the mouths of babes.  (Please no one tell him I referred to him as a "babe"!)  The question I have is that if a 12 year old (albeit geopolitically brilliant one like his old man) can figure it out, why can't the president backed by the "genius" of the State Department?  I know you lefties out there have changed your mantra of  "Give Peace a Chance!" from the '60s to "Give Sanctions a Chance!" today.  Just one question:  When have sanctions worked?  EVER? Hmmmmmmmmm?

Which can only leave us with one of two conclusions:

1. The President and his advisers are idiots.
2. They have some reason to help Iran stall an attack from Israel until they have a working atomic bomb.

Either of these possibilities scares the peewaden out of me.  Here's to hoping the following video is an analogy for what Israel is about to do to Iran.  The big kid (Israel) restrains himself for fear of getting in trouble with the teachers (US, Europe, Russia, et. al.).  The little a**hole kid (Iran) keeps picking on the big kid (Israel) "knowing" he won't fight back.  Enjoy viewing the results.

Hopefully the "cut the crap" wisdom of kids will trump the politically correct stupidity of adults.

Retirement of a Cold War Hero

Sahib and The Crew pay homage to the last remaining member of an unsung group of Cold War veterans.  This particular group of heroes stood silent vigil over our sleeping families for more than 50 years.  Protested, criticized, berated, and ostracized, you asked nothing in return and never a complaint passed your lips. (Not that you have lips, but you get the point.)

So it is with heavy heart that we say goodbye to last B53 nuclear bomb.  

The B53:  The Kremlin Attention Getter

The last of its Armageddon-thwarting brethren, this bad-boy weighs in at a sleek 10,000 pounds and is roughly the size of a minivan.  The Federation of American Scientists reports that the B53 is 600 times more powerful than the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima.  Sahib and The Crew like to refer to them as “The Kremlin Attention Getters” or Commie Whoppers for short.

According to a Fox News article, the last B53 is currently being disassembled at the Pantex Plant near Amarillo, Texas. (Gee, and maybe we can provide the terrorists Mapquest directions to the place as well.)  Apparently, this process requires a bit more effort than stripping a car at a local chop-shop. “Since it was made using older technology by engineers who have since retired or died, developing a disassembly process took time. Engineers had to develop complex tools and new procedures to ensure safety.” (Does this bother anyone besides me? You would think someone might have thought to take a few notes or a snapshot or two.)

So farewell, paladin of the skies above our nation, and thank you for the thankless service you performed.   Those on the left who slept under the blanket of freedom you provided may not miss you, but Sahib and The Crew certainly will.