Cecil the Lion Was A Democrat!

Cecil the lion was a Democrat, and it killed him.  More precisely, male African lions are the Occupy Wall Street types of the animal kingdom.  They lay around most of the day drawing crowds of gawkers, but never really contributing anything to the advancement of the species other than a little sperm.  OK, a lot of sperm...but I digress.

Regal in appearance but indolent at heart, male lions would prefer to lounge around the Serengeti than get up off their ass and run down a wildebeest.  Remind you of anyone?


 Like the Occupy crowd, male lions sponge off the work of others, in their case female lions.  Lionesses do the majority of the hunting for a pride of lions, then defer to the male who eats first from the kill.  Hang on....Mrs. Crew is telling me dinner is ready.

Ok, I'm back.   Why the treatise on lion behavior you ask?  Unless you have just teleported on to this rock from the third ring of Saturn, you have heard about Cecil the lion.  By the way...it is "ses-uhl", not "see-suhl".  Cecil was evidently the most beloved and well known lion in his home country of Zimbabwe, living a life of leisure and torpidity on a local game preserve.

Enter Walter Palmer, DDS.  Palmer, a Minnesota dentist, paid $55,000 for a lion hunt in early July that resulted in Cecil getting whacked.  Most reports indicate that the professional hunter hired by Palmer and one other coaxed Cecil off the game preserve by dragging a dead animal behind a vehicle as a lure.  Palmer then shot Cecil with a bow, wounding him.  The hunting party tracked Cecil for 40 hours before he was ultimately dispatched with a gunshot from the professional hunter.

When news of  Cecil's demise leaked out, the world exploded.  Twitter feeds were choked with angry animal lovers, many calling for the death of Dr. Palmer. Jimmy Kimmel broke down on national TV. Facebook timelines filled up with pictures of Cecil, celebrities stopped pimping the Iran deal and started caterwauling about "Justice for Cecil". Dr. Palmer's dental practice was shuttered, and he has gone into hiding.  Trespassers (some call them protestors) have spent the week littering Dr. Palmer's property with death threats and memorials to Cecil.  These two moonbats dressed as lions going on a "dentist hunt"....

On a side note, I wonder how the cows whose skins cover the car seats of these two idiots feel?  Seriously, cows have got to get a better marketing department.  But I digress, again...

With apologies to Edgar Wallace, twas liberalism that killed the beast.  Had Cecil been a rock-ribbed, self sufficient conservative apex predator (like say, Sahib and the Crew), he would have been out working hard to support his family when the nefarious Dr. Palmer came calling.  Instead, liberalism had taught him dependency, and he fell victim to the siren song of an easy meal.

We can learn a lot from Cecil's unfortunate demise...

• Liberalism kills, be it in the Zimbabwean jungle or the asphalt jungle of the United States

• Initiative, ambition, and self-reliance will serve you better than sloth, handouts, and welfare

• Never trust anyone from Minnesota.  This has been one of my personal mantras since the voters there sent this guy to the United States Senate....
  

P.S.- the Senator is the one with only one banana

Millions upon millions of ethical hunters do more for the conservation of game species in one day than all the stuffed animal memorials and "dentist hunts" will ever do.  That said, if Dr. Palmer and the others involved violated the game laws of Zimbabwe (and it appears they did), they should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.  But please, let's not make this out to be the crime of the century.

After all, it's not like Dr. Palmer was out there chopping up babies into little salable bits.

Occupy Protests Get Philosophy from Soviet Propaganda

Now we know where the "enlightened ones" of the Occupy Protests have gotten their political platform!  You would think they could have come up with something better than 30 year old Soviet propaganda.

Obama Hates Occupy Wall Street

OWS or Tea Party?

President Obama and his minions of insufficient light hate the Occupy protests.  More accurately, they hate the protesters.  Obama, Biden, Reid, Pelosi, Wasserman-Schultz, et al. will never admit it, but believe me, they hate the Occupy protesters.  Oh they smile for the media and talk about how they “support” the protesters, but they secretly wish someone would detonate a giant Raid bug-bomb on the whole group. 

You may ask, “Sahib, how can that be true?  These protesters represent the left’s voting base.  How can their political leaders hate them?”  Elementary my dear readers, who wants an unwashed, undisciplined, incoherent, bat-shit crazy group of people promoting their agenda?  As much as Obama and his MSM drones love to bag on the Tea Party movement, they would give their eye-teeth to have the Tea Party people backing Obama’s socialist platform.  I mean come on; who would you prefer backing your cause?  Mr. and Mrs. Joe America with their two bright-eyed apple-cheeked children or a bunch of unwashed mosh pit rejects?

For example, I think it is safe to say that most evangelical Christians are not big proponents of homosexual causes.  How do you think they feel when they see that idiot from Topeka, Fred Phelps, and his loony family protesting at a fallen soldier’s funeral? “Go get ‘em Freddy!?”  Heck no, they realize his hatred and vitriol tarnishes the image of anyone who opposes the GLBT agenda.  It’s guilt by association.  The same goes for the Occupato Mafia and their support for a socialistic nirvana here in the good old USA.  Crazy people are bad for your message.

As exposed by SACSTW’s crack staff last week, Karl Rove’s plan was ingenious.  Like Obama and his cronies, King Karl understands that elections hinge on swaying the 10-15% of independent voters to your side.  Karl was just helping the left with their sales pitch.  Fortunately for the supporters of truth, justice, and the American way, there isn’t much Obama can do but sit and stew about it.

Karl Rove is the Occupy Protest Mastermind!

SACSTW has unearthed a plot so cunning, so diabolical, that Machiavelli himself would have been proud.  Karl Rove is the mastermind behind the Occupy Wall Street protest movement.  Undercover SACSTW reporters have obtained a secret recording of the planning and implementation meeting held in King Karl’s secret underground bunker.  (Built by non-union construction workers.)  The following is the transcription of the recording:

April 1, 2011 10:43:02 EDT

King Karl:  I am sick and tired of all the crap that the Tea Party people are getting from the media and the left.

 Minion #1:  Yeah and why do the American people keep buying the “big government is the answer” lies from the Obama and his all commie chorus?

Minion #2:  We need a plan to show the American people the foolishness of socialism and how the Tea Party supporters are hard working patriotic Americans who want the best for everyone. 

King Karl:  Any ideas?

Minion #1:  We could let Obama, Harry Reid, and Debbie Wasserman Schultz keep talking…

King Karl:  You would think that would work, but it’s taking too long. 

Minion #2:  We could start a big ad campaign denouncing socialist policies and supporting hard work and personal responsibility.

Minion #1:  The mainstream media wouldn’t cover it.

King Karl:  Wait a minute…. I have an idea. (Sinister chuckle)  What if we let the lefty moonbats and media do the work for us?  We send some operatives undercover into the bowels of the liberal bastions to sow the seeds of a protest.  We play on their paranoia and public school brainwashing.  We feed their insecurities and inherent laziness.  We plant slogans like, “Greedy People Suck!”, “Banks have all the money, give us some!”, and “I don’t want to repay my student loans!” If that doesn’t work, they can use the magic words…. “Free weed!”  Send them someplace like Wall Street to protest.  The lib media will eat it up.  The dem politicos will have to back them because they ARE the democrats’ voting base.  The American people will see what a bunch of whack jobs occupy the left.  It could be my biggest triumph!  Hmmmm, whack jobs, occupy, Wall Street….

Minion #2:  I don’t know boss.  Not even the lib media is dumb enough to fall for that.

King Karl:  Three words.  Olbernamm, Maddow, Krugman.

Minion #2:   Point taken.

Minion #1:  To which liberal bastions should we send our operatives? 

King Karl:  Oh, East Village coffee houses, the NYU student union, methadone clinics.  You know, the usual.  We can’t start right away.  Our operatives will require some rigorous training.  Besides, we want the protests to have time to really start ramping up about the time the weather starts getting really nasty.  Begin say, mid-September? What should we call them by the way?

Minion #2:  Karl’s Kommandos?

King Karl:  Too commie.

Minion #1:  Rove’s Raiders?

King Karl:  I like it!  It has kind of a corporate raider flair.  That goes perfectly with the name I have for the protests… Occupy Wall Street.

End of transcription

At this point the SACSTW reporter’s recording device failed, but he was able to provide us with before and after pictures of Rove’s Raiders.  According to SACSTW reporters, the training was a strict regimen of vegan diet, bi-weekly bathing, Michael Moore "documentaries", and heavy doses of marijuana. 

Before: 

Rove's Raiders prior to training

After:

Rove's Raiders after training

Stay tuned to SACSTW for the latest updates to this fast-breaking story!

Stupid Tax Payers! Your Debt is from Kids!

During my morning perusal of news headlines, this MSBNC article caught my attention:  “Another idea for student loan debt:  Make it go away.”  Devoted readers, before I shower you with editorial pearls of wisdom, I would like you to read the following section from the article:

It is not my responsibility to pay for your dream!

“The broad appeal of the movement was illustrated by one passer-by who stopped to listen to the discussion. ‘I married someone who had student loan debt, so by default that’s become part of my life now,’ said David Solomon, wearing a button-down shirt and rain coat. Solomon, a 27-year-old who works in tech support and lives in Sunset Park, Brooklyn, said he and his wife met at New York University where they both went for undergrad. His tuition was paid for, but his wife took out student loans to pay for school.  They currently pay about $400 a month in loan fees on her $150,000 in debut because they had worked out some deferments, but he said that will rise to approximately $1,100 a month by September 2012. ‘She had been interested in getting a house and we looked at the numbers,’ said Solomon. ‘But that’s just not going to happen — not anytime soon at least.’ Solomon indicated he wasn’t ready to take to the streets just yet, but he believes the “Occupy” protest has seized upon an issue that has not been taken seriously, despite the adverse impact it is having on so many lives.”

What a giant pile of excrement!  Let’s look at it shovel by shovel, or bad decision by bad decision.

Bad Decision #1 (Mr. Solomon):  You “CHOSE” to marry a girl that was $150,000 in debt!  Did you forget the whole for richer or poorer part?  I really hope she is cute.

Bad Decision #2 (Mrs. Solomon):  You “CHOSE” to go to NYU which you obviously could not afford.  You could have chosen Junior, State, or Beauty College.

Bad Decision #3 (Mrs. Solomon):  You “CHOSE” to finance the NYU education that you could not afford through student loans.

Bad Decision #4 (Mrs. Solomon):  You apparently “CHOSE” a major that would not afford you a career that would enable you to easily repay your student loans, or if you did, you “CHOSE” not to pursue that career.  (My money’s on Art History.)

One question:  WHY ARE WE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS COUPLE’S POOR DECISIONS?  Guess what?  I CHOOSE not to bail these people out.

“Oh but Sahib, you are being so heartless and cruel!”  GOOD!  It’s called tough love.  Maybe they will impart the lessons they learned on their mush-brained little darlings when they have them.

Of course if our Dear Leader has his way, we’ll just add these people to the leech gravy train.  The train is getting heavier and heavier and the mules are getting bled dry.


Editorial note: the MSNBC article was written by a Ms. Petra Cahill, Senior MSNBC News Editor.  Many potentially useful pieces of information were glaringly absent from her story.

Ich Bin Ein Defecator - New Rally Cries for the Occupy "Movement"

Never let it be said that Sahib and the Crew do not feel for their fellow man, (sorry) person. There seems to be a real dearth of creativity in the Occupy “movement” when it comes to rally cries. So in the interest of brotherly, (sorry) personally love and harmony, Sahib and the Crew have put their vast talents forth in an effort to assist our much-loved and misguided brothers and sisters of the Occupy “movement”.

Occupy Berlin:  Ich Bin Ein Defecator!

Occupy Wall Street:  No Man with Washed Behind!

Occupy Topeka: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Occupy Martha's Vineyard:  But Daddy, I Love Him!

Occupy Hollywood:  You Are a Rude, Thoughtless, Little Pig!  Oh sorry, I thought you were my daughter.  (This one’s only effective with Alec Baldwin as keynote speaker.)

Occupy the Hamptons:  We Love the Pope!  The old one, not the Nazi one we have now. (Our thanks to Susan Sarandon for that gem.)

And Sahib's Personal Favorite -

Occupy Seattle:  Excuse Me While I Whip This Out!

Although we spent many seconds working on these, the list will continue to grow.  We will continue to add new rally cries as the Occupy “movement” continues to provide us with fodder.

Our apologies to JFK and Mel Brooks...  No apologies to whack-jobs Alec Baldwin and Susan Sarandon.

Occupy Ohio Protesters: Take Cover!

PRESS RELEASE - Dateline:  Zanesville, Ohio
Warning to all Occupy Ohio (or OOPs) protesters!  Take cover immediately!  Police in Zanesville, Ohio have been ordered to "shoot to kill" dozens of escaped wild animals.  With tensions running high, the following images demonstrate the difficulty Zaneville police will face:

Which is is which?  I have difficulty telling myself.




There are a couple of tips that might help the police. Muskingum county Sheriff Matt Lutz described the escaped animals as "mature, very big and aggressive." Rarely, have Occupato Mafia protesters been described as "mature". It has also been reported that the personal hygiene of the escaped animals is "far superior" to that of your average OWS protester. 

Regardless, Occupy Ohio protesters are in grave danger. Please take cover immediately!

 (Who says conservatives aren't compassionate?)

Please Don't Feed the OPM Addicts

Article first published as Please Don't Feed the OPM Addicts on Technorati.

What is this thing you call "work" ?

On my way home from work....Wait, let's stop right there. For you Ocupato Mafia types currently befouling the streets and parks of our great nation, "work" means leaving your parent's basement early in the morning, going somewhere else and doing something that others value for many hours, then going back home to your family. In return for this "work", others who place value on your time, talents, and knowledge will compensate you financially. Cool huh?

Now that we are all on the same page, I was driving home from work yesterday listening to the local AM blatherfest. Caller Steve was talking to the pseudo-conservative show hosts. Poor Steve just couldn't understand why people raise such a fuss when their taxes go up. He claimed to have an income around $800,000 and to pay about $250,000 to the federal government this year. He "would gladly pay $280,000 if his taxes went up, just to support this great country". The hosts then asked Steve why he didn't just go ahead and send that extra 30K each year to support his beloved federal government. "Well", stammered Stevie, "it wouldn't do any good for just me to do that".

Steve is just like every career politician in Washington, hooked on OPM. Easy to spend, easy to steal, Other People's Money is the most addictive, most destructive substance in our country today. Just like tweakers and cokeheads, OPM addicts steal to support their habit. At least Mary Methhead has the decency to pilfer your stuff behind your back, OPM addicts are a little more brash. They can be seen on every media outlet in the country, clamoring for just another fix, just another few percentage points of your precious supply.

Well, you know what dude? I am all tapped out.

"Not This Nazi One We Have Now"

Ms. Sarandon: In one of her saner moments

I love being a conservative. If I were a liberal, I would have to deal with such cringe-worthy moments from cause-celeb lefty whack-jobs like Susan Sarandon all the time.

According to a Fox News article, Ms. Sarandon dropped this doozy at a film festival in the Hamptons (Yes moonbat fleabaggers, where the GREEDY RICH people live!) this weekend. When referencing a book she had sent to the pope, she made this clarification. "The last one. Not this Nazi one we have now." It is reported that when actor Bob Balaban tried to dance around the comment, she repeated it AGAIN to the laughter of the audience.


Now devoted readers, you don't have to scroll back very far in your memories or on this blog to recall the beating Bocephus (Hank Williams Jr.) took from the left when he made an ANALOGY about a golf game between the president and the speaker of the house. In case you were incommunicato, he said that the golf game between Obama and Boehner was like a golf game between Hitler and Netanyahu. It was an ANALOGY. He didn't call Obama Hitler. If you recall, it cost him his gig with Monday Night Football.

I am sure that the outcry from the media and the left will be thunderous that she immediately be stripped of her academy award and exiled to North Korea. Supporting my hypothesis, is this quote from the Fox News article:

"Susan Sarandon has a reputation of saying things that are controversial. This statement is certainly right up there. But given her history I doubt it will harm her career," public relations expert Glenn Selig added. "While inflammatory and insulting to many, particularly Catholics, people know her as someone who speaks her mind. Being opinionated is part of what the public seems to like about her or choose to accept about her, even if they don't agree with her."

WOW! She'll probably need intensive therapy to recover from stinging recriminations like that.

I would also like to point out the glaring differences between the audience responses to Hank's comments versus Ms. Sarandon's. The Fox and Friends panel who may lefties would call right of Rush Limbaugh were put off and obviously uncomfortable with Hank's comments. Ms. Sarandon's audience laughed and applauded.

Occupy Wall Street couldn't have a better supporter.

Trust-fund Moonbat on Video

WARNING: The young moonbat in this video uses some profane language. I know, I was shocked too!

Thanks BreitbartTV!

Moonbats Invade the Heartland

NEWS FLASH!
As predicted, the Occupato Mafia (formerly Occupy Wall Street) has oozed its way into the heartland. This picture was taken outside the Bank of America building in Topeka, Kansas. One terrified onlooker reported, "It was horrible! Cars were crashing all over the place! Drivers laughing uncontrollably were unable to maintain control of their vehicles."

Calls to the governor's office were responded to with the statement "Who?" However; one unconfirmed source with the capitol police (actually, some guy on the corner who claimed he was with the capitol police as well as the CIA, NSA, and FBI) was quoted as saying, "We may request national guard assistance from the governor. Some of the heckling these people are receiving is getting pretty nasty. We are afraid that their delicate sensibilities may be irreparably harmed."

Stay tuned to SACSTW (Sahib and Crew Save the World, for new readers) for the latest updates to this fast-breaking story.