The Crew's Monday Morning Math Lesson

I suppose there is a reason I'm not in the election prediction business, it didn't go so well for me (or the country for that matter) last week.  I underestimated how thoroughly the progressivist entitlement cancer, seeded by Presidents Wilson and Roosevelt, had metastasized through the body of the American electorate.  

Since his re-election, Dear Leader has said that he will not support any fiscal plans that do not involve the rich paying higher taxes.  We've heard it all before, it's time for the rich to start "paying their fair share" in order to dig the country out of the financial hellhole it finds itself in.  

Attention Class, please open your Math With The Crew textbooks to page 27.  We will start today looking at tax data for 2009, as it is the most recent that is readily available. Let's establish some facts...

• in 2009, the top 1% had a total Adjusted Gross Income (AGI) of 1.324 trillion dollars.
• of that 1.324 trillion dollars, they paid 0.318 trillion dollars in federal income tax.

Let's say for the sake of this exercise, the federal government freezes spending today, and continues to operate indefinitely with the 1 trillion dollar annual deficit it currently has.  Given that the national debt is 16 trillion dollars, here is the question...

Q: How long will it take (based on 2009 data) to pay off the national debt if we taxed the top 1% at 100% of their adjusted gross income?  Scroll down for the answer.....

A:  The answer is a smidge under 267 years.  Yep, if we take every penny the top 1% make, and make sure the feds don't spend one more nickel a year than they do now,  we'll all be in high cotton in time for the 2279 Christmas shopping season.  Well, except for the top 1%, they'll all be broke.

 Class, repeat after me.....

The federal government is in this fiscal nightmare because of runaway spending, not because the top 1% are not paying their share. 

Monday Musings With The Crew

Once more, into the breech......

• How bad are the Kansas City Chiefs?  Try this little experiment.  Stand up.  Take 5 long steps.  You have now traveled further than the Kansas City offense did in the entire first half yesterday against the New York Jets.  LATE BREAKING UPDATE:  Minutes after this post was published, the Chiefs fired head coach Todd Haley.  The influence of SACSTW knows no bounds!

I'm guessing he's Spanky

• Al Sharpton's not-for-profit (insert smirk here) National Action Network is in serious financial trouble.  NAN owes over $880,000 in federal payroll taxes.  They also owe over $200,000 to one of Sharpton's for profit firms, Bo-Spanky Consulting.  Let me write that again..... Bo-Spanky Consulting. Almost as much fun to write as it is to say.  I am calling for an immediate investigation into the true leadership of this consulting firm, anything named Bo-Spanky has to have Barney Frank involved somehow.  

Sorry little fella, don't take it personally

• The Patriot Freedom Alliance is the Tea Party organization in Hutchinson, Kansas.  They have run afoul of the race card in the last few days.  A cartoon (since removed) on their website compared a skunk to Barack Obama, saying that like the President, the skunk is "half-black, half-white, and everything it does stinks".  The local NAACP predictably termed the cartoon as racist and offensive.  The Crew wonders how much longer an organization with the words "Colored People" in its title will be allowed to be the arbiter of racism.  Actually, I agree that the cartoon was offensive and degrading.... to skunks.

• Looks like the Obama administration is deadly serious about securing our southern border.  After all, why else would the federal government open an unmanned border crossing point?  That is exactly what they want to do in Big Bend National Park so the residents of the tiny Mexican town of Boquillas del Carmen don't have to travel the 240 miles to the nearest legal entry point.  Here is how it will work..... note that this requires a significant suspension of disbelief!  Border crossers using the "kiosk" will scan their documents in and talk to a Customs officer who will be at least 100 miles away.  Attention Dear Leader, kiosks are for selling sunglasses in the mall.  Gun towers and German Shepherds are for border crossings.

• A large Christmas light display has a neighbor angry, calling the display "psychological warfare".  No, this doesn't involve U.S. public schools, state courthouses, or any of the other places Christmas lights usually run afoul of the left.  This time, it's Kim Jong-il and his merry band of North Korean gangsters protesting a South Korean Christmas light display about 2 miles from the border with North Korea.  North Korea's official website decried the display as "a mean attempt for psychological warfare", and threatened retaliatory gunfire if the lights are actually switched on.  Geez, who knew?  All that angst about North Korea's military build-up and all we had to do was string up some pretty lights!

Karl Rove is the Occupy Protest Mastermind!

SACSTW has unearthed a plot so cunning, so diabolical, that Machiavelli himself would have been proud.  Karl Rove is the mastermind behind the Occupy Wall Street protest movement.  Undercover SACSTW reporters have obtained a secret recording of the planning and implementation meeting held in King Karl’s secret underground bunker.  (Built by non-union construction workers.)  The following is the transcription of the recording:

April 1, 2011 10:43:02 EDT

King Karl:  I am sick and tired of all the crap that the Tea Party people are getting from the media and the left.

 Minion #1:  Yeah and why do the American people keep buying the “big government is the answer” lies from the Obama and his all commie chorus?

Minion #2:  We need a plan to show the American people the foolishness of socialism and how the Tea Party supporters are hard working patriotic Americans who want the best for everyone. 

King Karl:  Any ideas?

Minion #1:  We could let Obama, Harry Reid, and Debbie Wasserman Schultz keep talking…

King Karl:  You would think that would work, but it’s taking too long. 

Minion #2:  We could start a big ad campaign denouncing socialist policies and supporting hard work and personal responsibility.

Minion #1:  The mainstream media wouldn’t cover it.

King Karl:  Wait a minute…. I have an idea. (Sinister chuckle)  What if we let the lefty moonbats and media do the work for us?  We send some operatives undercover into the bowels of the liberal bastions to sow the seeds of a protest.  We play on their paranoia and public school brainwashing.  We feed their insecurities and inherent laziness.  We plant slogans like, “Greedy People Suck!”, “Banks have all the money, give us some!”, and “I don’t want to repay my student loans!” If that doesn’t work, they can use the magic words…. “Free weed!”  Send them someplace like Wall Street to protest.  The lib media will eat it up.  The dem politicos will have to back them because they ARE the democrats’ voting base.  The American people will see what a bunch of whack jobs occupy the left.  It could be my biggest triumph!  Hmmmm, whack jobs, occupy, Wall Street….

Minion #2:  I don’t know boss.  Not even the lib media is dumb enough to fall for that.

King Karl:  Three words.  Olbernamm, Maddow, Krugman.

Minion #2:   Point taken.

Minion #1:  To which liberal bastions should we send our operatives? 

King Karl:  Oh, East Village coffee houses, the NYU student union, methadone clinics.  You know, the usual.  We can’t start right away.  Our operatives will require some rigorous training.  Besides, we want the protests to have time to really start ramping up about the time the weather starts getting really nasty.  Begin say, mid-September? What should we call them by the way?

Minion #2:  Karl’s Kommandos?

King Karl:  Too commie.

Minion #1:  Rove’s Raiders?

King Karl:  I like it!  It has kind of a corporate raider flair.  That goes perfectly with the name I have for the protests… Occupy Wall Street.

End of transcription

At this point the SACSTW reporter’s recording device failed, but he was able to provide us with before and after pictures of Rove’s Raiders.  According to SACSTW reporters, the training was a strict regimen of vegan diet, bi-weekly bathing, Michael Moore "documentaries", and heavy doses of marijuana. 

Before: 

Rove's Raiders prior to training

After:

Rove's Raiders after training

Stay tuned to SACSTW for the latest updates to this fast-breaking story!

Chart of the Day- OWS is not exactly like the Tea Party....