Oh Mitt... You Missed the Kill Shot!

The president made many vague, muddled, outright false, and generally laughable statements last night.  Among them are:

• Apparently not realizing that US marines STILL use bayonets.  Something you would think the commander-in-chief might be aware.
• Talking about Tunisian protests our narcissist-in-chief said, "This nation. Me."
• Emphatically and categorically stating that Romney was against ANY form of government assistance for GM and Chrysler.  Oops, sorry Mr. President... wrong or lying again:  http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/19/opinion/19romney.html?_r=2&
• Espousing a level of love and adoration for Israel that he usually reserves for tax increases, new entitlement programs, and golf.
• (And one of my favorite moments) Not correcting Bob Schieffer when Bob referred to him as Obama Bin Laden.
• Trying to explode Romney's brain with the Obama Death Stare, a la Scanners/Big Bang Theory.

All fascinating and enjoyable moments, but Romney could have won the debate and probably the election in one fell swoop.  The president gave him the perfect opening and Romney could have poleaxed (for you race baiters out there, that was pole axed and not poll taxed) him right there on national TV.  If he had taken the opportunity, I wouldn't have been surprised to see Obama curl up in the fetal position right there on stage and start sobbing for Reggie to come save him.  Here is how the exchange SHOULD have happened:

• President Obama:  Bob, let me — let me respond. You know, if we're going to talk about trips that we've taken, you know, when I was a candidate for office, first trip I took was to visit our troops.  And when I went to Israel as a candidate, I didn't take donors, I didn't attend fundraisers, I went to Yad Vashem, the — the Holocaust museum there, to remind myself the — the nature of evil and why our bond with Israel will be unbreakable.
• Governor Romney:  Really Mr. President?  You have must have immense testicular fortitude to introduce fundraising into this discussion. Well, you went there so here goes. Yes, as a CANDIDATE I did attend fundraisers in Israel.  You know why?  Because people there LIKE me and understand I will be a TRUE friend to Israel as president.  Would you like to know what I will NEVER do as PRESIDENT?  I will never attend a fundraiser when the bodies of our ambassador and three other citizens are not even cold and that they are dead as a direct result of my administration's failures.  That, Mr. President, I will never do.  Bob, please feel free to clean up that puddle of goo that used to be the president.  I wouldn't want anyone to get it on their shoes.

That, to quote Barney Stinson, would have been, wait for it.... LEGENDARY!

The Two Questions Nobody Asked......

The first time I heard of Hofstra was 1981.  A basketball player at my high school signed a letter of intent to play ball for the Fighting Earthworms or whatever they are called.  I'll be danged if I can remember the kid's name, but it was pretty big news at our school.  After all, we were better known for other, more genteel athletics.  If you could play it at a country club, we were tough to beat.  But I digress.

I got home from Hofstra early this morning, having borrowed the keys to the SACSTW Gulfstream V from Sahib over the weekend.  With nerves all atwitter, I turned on the TV and fired up the DVR to watch my appearance during the previous evening's Presidential Debate.  My heart sank and my blood pressure soared as I realized THEY CUT MY SCENE!  I thought this thing was supposed to be live and unedited!  What the @#%$# ??  I have searched all the online transcripts I can find.....NOTHING!  It's as if I never asked a question of the candidates at all!

Despite my lingering private luxury jet lag, I have been able to piece together a reasonable facsimile of how my moment in the debate spotlight went...........

Candy Crowley:  The next question is for President Obama, and comes from the large, balding white gentleman there in the back.  No, no, not you Chastity.  Next to you, yes, the one in the purple Mexican wrestling mask.

The Crew: Thank you Candy.  My name is the Crew.  I have but one question for you Mr. Obama.  My friend Sahib and I have spent the last 12 months asking every liberal  wingnut we can find this question, and none have been willing to answer.  You are the next on our list.....Please tell us exactly what percentage of our income we should be permitted to keep after all taxation from local, state, and federal authorities.

President Obama:  Thank you for the question Crew.  Under my administration, oil production is the highest it has been in 16 years.  We have invested in infrastructure, created 14 green jobs, and licked the boots of every tinpot hack in the Middle East.  I've shucked and jived with Beyonce and JayZ, spent more time with David Letterman than any of his female staffers, and played more golf than Tiger Woods.

The Crew:  That is all quite interesting Mr. Obama.  May I assume that you refuse to admit that your ideal would be governmental confiscation of 100% of earnings?

President Obama:  You may proceed Crew.

The Crew:  I have a followup question for you Mr. Obama....Can you tell us what you will do in a second term to bring the federal government back into conformity with the legal limitations placed upon it by the United States Constitution?

President Obama:  The what?

Things kind of went downhill from there, although I'm sure the original video showing what appeared to be a middle aged Caucasian Nacho Libre challenging the President to a sumo match is quite entertaining if you can find it.  But I digress.

Monday Musings With The Crew

• Can't wait to see this week's Presidential Debate.  CNN's chief political correspondent Candy Crowley will be moderating in her usual "even-handed" style.  You remember Candy Crowley right?  She's the one who called the Romney-Ryan ticket a "political death-wish" on her show.  I'm sure she'll be very fair.  Listen to Dennis Miller's comments on Crowley here.

• Is anyone else a wee bit weary of the Obama's incessant whining about obstructionist Republicans?  Joe Biden actually went so far during his debate with Paul Ryan as to say Republicans should "just get out of the way".  Someone please remind the Vice-President that his party had 2 years of complete control of the federal government to pass any half-baked statist pablum they wanted.  In my view, Republicans blocking the current version of the Democrat Party from advancing their agenda is national service of the highest order.  

• The only thing on Sunday that was plummeting faster than Felix Baumgartner was Kansas City Chiefs GM Scott Pioli's reputation.  Unfortunately for fans of the Crew's hometown team, Pioli didn't have a parachute, and the Chiefs augured into the dirt of Raymond James Stadium in a 38-10 beat down at the hands of the lowly Buccaneers.  Chiefs....I wash my hands of thee!

• Former Senator Arlen Specter died yesterday at the age of 82.  The Republican turned Democrat who brought you the "single-bullet" theory as a member of the Warren Commission in the '60s, helped deny Robert Bork a seat on the US Supreme Court, and was one of only 3 Republicans in Congress to vote for the Obama stimulus bill lost his battle with lymphoma.  I'm sure his family and friends will miss him.  

• Looks like Representative Jesse Jackson Jr. is in the crosshairs of the FBI (whoops, is that racist or hatemonging of me??).  The Feds are investigating Jesse Jr. for using campaign money to decorate his home.  Yep, sounds about right.

The Enema Bandit

• In related news, Ronald Eugene Robinson of Florida is this week's nominee for worst human in the history of the species.  Robinson has been charged with consumer product tampering after returning more than a dozen home enema kits to a CVS store in Jacksonville.  The bad news?....he tampered with them by USING them before repackaging and returning the kits.  The really bad news?    the CVS store RESOLD them to other customers!  I wonder how that is going to work out for Ronald on Cellblock D when the fellas get together to compare crimes.  

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Monday Musings With The Crew

• Did anyone else find Dear Leader's insistence that the Romney campaign is short on details perplexing during last week's debate?  Isn't this the same President whose crown jewel legislation was pushed through by a Speaker of the House who said "we have to pass the bill to find out what's in it".

• Obama's pitiful debate performance was entirely predictable.  To succeed in that setting, you must be firmly grounded in your political philosophy, have a grasp of the facts, and most importantly be WILLING to articulate your core beliefs.  Obama knows that he cannot speak those core beliefs as they are so radically divergent from the majority of the American electorate.  That internal contradiction leaves him fumbling around, desperately grasping for any lie that might benefit his cause.

• For those hardcore Obama supporters still bitterly clinging to the campaign's talking points, I refer you to an excellent refutation of those points from Investor's Business Daily.  

Godbee has an interesting definition
of "internal affairs"

• Dateline Detroit:  Fans coming to the ballpark in Detroit to watch the Tigers in the MLB playoffs were greeted by about 400 off-duty Detroit police officers handing out flyers that warned the fans to "Enter Detroit At Your Own Risk".  Citing what they see as gross understaffing of the DPD, the local police union is trying to ramp up support for additional funding of the department.  If only Detroit Police Chief Ralph Godbee had  heeded his own union's advice to be cautious about "entering Detroit".  Godbee has resigned amid the revelation that he carried on a sexual relationship with an internal affairs officer in the department.  

I volunteer for Miss Jones class!

• Former Cincinnati Bengal cheerleader and now former highschool teacher Sarah Jones has pled guilty to having sex with a 17 year old student at the Kentucky school she taught at.  NFL cheerleaders teaching high school boys,  hey, what could possibly go wrong with that?  Honestly, there is a part of me that thinks this is a victimless crime.  I'll leave you to decide which part.  

Kilmeade Breaks Story On Obama's Poor Debate Performance

My favorite member of the Fox and Friends morning show, Brian Kilmeade, aired exclusive video of Barack Obama explaining his abysmal debate performance to Weezy this morning. Have a look.....

Down Goes Obama, Down Goes Obama!

Overhead view of the debate stage as Jim Lehrer checks on the President

I've seen a lot of beatdowns in my life.  I saw Mike Tyson bludgeon Michael Spinks into dreamland in the first round in 1988.  I saw Jordan hit that jumper over Craig Ehlo,  I saw the 49ers manhandle the Broncos 55-10 in Super Bowl XXIV.  Now I have to add Romney-Obama I to my list of the all-time greatest routs.  Dennis Miller had the best line of the night when he said "Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered under Obamacare".

Romney came out from the get go loaded with facts, truth, and the courage to face down the President of the United States.  After striding out onto the stage with his usual supercool demeanor, President Obama's body language changed to that of a Labrador puppy who tore up the furniture while his owner was at work once Romney started to work him over.  Guess what Barry, the owners are home, and we're pissed about the mess you have made of our house!  Bad President!  Bad President!

Even with moderator Jim Lehrer holding his hand through some of the tough spots, the President looked like that debate stage was the LAST place in the world he wanted to be.  Well maybe, the second to last place.  If you think that Mitt was tough on Obama during the debate, how do you think Weezy treated him during the flight home?

The one recurring theme of Mr. Obama's presentation was that profits are bad.  He demonized profit making in the oil industry, banking, Wall Street, healthcare, you name it.  Romney was having none of it.  My favorite moment came when he made a not very subtle suggestion that Lehrer update his resume because federal funding of PBS is going away very soon!

Romney was sincere, with just the right amount of gravitas and personality.  Obama was a sulking teenager who realizes the game is up.  Several pundits are wondering based on his performance whether Obama really wants to serve another term in office.  I think there may be some truth behind that theory.  Maybe Dear Leader is looking forward to the $50,000 a pop lecture circuit that is awaiting him.

I really only have one regret from last night.   Where was this Mitt Romney in 2008?  This Mitt Romney would have mopped the floor with Senator Granddad in the primaries, and made the name Barack Obama a footnote in the history textbooks.  Maybe this Mitt Romney could have saved our country a lot of the pain and suffering of the last four years.  Better late than never.

Now in case you think I'm just crowing about my guy's performance from an ideological standpoint, I'll leave you with what Chris "the Tingle is Gone" Matthews had to say.....

Late Breaking Update!   Al Gore explains President's poor performance.....must watch!

Sahib and The Crew Moderate the Debate

Unfortunately, The Crew and I were neither asked to submit questions nor asked to moderate the debate, so we decided to do both on our blog.  I will be posing questions to President Obama and The Crew will be posing them to Governor Romney.

Sahib:  Mr. President, which one of the 57 states is your favorite?

Sahib:  Mr. President, if you feel the Muslim call to prayer is one of the most beautiful sounds on earth, what do you consider to be one of the ugliest? (Would he have the testicular fortitude to say Christmas carols?)

Sahib:  How's the golf game coming along?

Sahib:  Do you feel it's appropriate to send your daughter and her friends on a spring break trip to one of the most dangerous places in North America and make the American tax payers pick up the check for her security?

Sahib:  You have said that you want to "fundamentally change" the United States of America.  Specifically, which fundamentals of our great nation do you wish to change?

Sahib:  You pay your dog handler $102,000 a year.  How much do you pay your unicorn, Stanley's, handler?

Sahib:  Is is true that the real Joe Biden, in fact, died 3 years ago and the one we see now is really a Jeff Dunham puppet?

Sahib:  You seem inordinately preoccupied with Governor Romney's tax returns.  In a show of good sportsmanship, how about turning over your college and medical records?

Sahib:  And finally Mr. President, how much of what an American makes should he/she be allowed by the government to keep?  Please give me a specific percentage. A concrete number.  Take your time.  I'll wait.

*********************************************************************************

Crew here.  Excellent interrogatory as usual by Sahib.  I get to question Mittens, so a little disclaimer here.  Yes, I am likely to vote for Governor Romney on November 6.  No, he was not my preferred nominee.

Crew:  Governor Romney, do you believe in compromising with those on the other side of the aisle in order to "get things done"

Crew:  After 4 years of a Romney presidency, will federal spending be more or less than it is today?

Crew:  After 4 years of a Romney presidency, will the federal government employ more or less people than it does today?

Crew:  Do you take your hair off at night?

Crew:  Would you support the repeal of the 17th Amendment?

Crew:  Do you believe in national right-to-carry legislation?

Crew:  Do you promise to pay attention to what Paul Ryan tells you about the budget?

Crew:  If you are elected, will you maintain Stanley in the lifestyle to which he has become accustomed?

Crew:  And finally Governor Romney, how much of what an American makes should he/she be allowed by the government to keep?  Please give me a specific percentage.  A concrete number.  Take your time.  I'll wait.


Be sure to watch the debate tonight, hey it's just the future of the country at stake.  

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Monday Musings With The Crew

• In August of 1974, a Republican president resigned his office after his complicity in the Watergate affair surfaced.  As is the case with many transgressions, the cover-up was worse than the crime (just like your momma has told you all these years).  The President had ordered high-ranking members of his administration to lie to the American public about the break-in, and proceeded to do the same himself.  Exactly 0 people died as part of the Watergate affair.  In the past 3 weeks, Barack Obama has ordered high ranking administration members (SecState, UN Ambassador, etc) to lie to the American public about the murder of 4 Americans, including a U.S. Ambassador.  Obama has then proceeded to repeat those same lies to the American public himself.  At least Nixon had the courage to do what was best for the country by resigning.  

      

• Watching Obama 2012 downplay expectations for Wednesday's presidential debate has been quite smirkworthy.  The best part was David Axelrod batting his sad puppy dog eyes at the media while lamenting Obama's lack of time for debate prep.  He's just been too busy "governing the country" according to Axelrod.  Unless blowing off heads of state and hanging with Mr. and Mrs. Knowles is "governing the country", I beg to differ Dave.  But hey, it was a funny line.....
• late update-  John Kerry joined the Obama sympathy club over the weekend, sniffing that it's just not fair that Barry can't properly prepare for the debate, after all "he's got a day job".  

• Remember Amanda Clayton?  She was the Michigan woman who gained notoriety earlier this year after it was discovered she was receiving food stamps despite having won over $700,000 in the lottery.  Sahib covered her story brilliantly here.   I can hear you now, um...Crew...why are you referring to Ms. Clayton in the past tense?  The answer is....because she was found dead of a drug overdose in a Detroit house over the weekend.  I will not revel in the death of Ms. Clayton, I will only comment that karma is in fact a bitch.

• Speaking of trips down memory lane, one gas station owner did just that recently.....  Actually the day Obama took office gas was $1.67 at my neighborhood station.

• Weapons obtained from Holder Arms and Ammo (aka the U.S. Justice Department) have been linked to a 2010 massacre of 16 people in Juarez, Mexico.  Many of the victims were teenagers attending a birthday party.  Speaking of resigning from office......are you listening Mr. Attorney General?  Read more here.

Do you really want to know?

• Chinese cuisine is was one of my favorites.  That is until I read about the Red Flower Chinese Restaurant in Williamsburg, KY.  The restaurant has been cited for serving road-kill after a customer observed employees wheeling a mangled deer into the kitchen.  The owner's son has admitted to picking up the deer along I-75 outside of town.  The owners claimed they "didn't know we couldn't do that".  Ugh. Maybe the health department should have been concerned about the Red Flower's menu, featuring General Tire's Chicken, Moo Shu Possum, and Crab Raccoon.