Monday Musings With The Crew

• Breaking News:  The Vatican announced that Pope Benedict XVI would resign the papacy effective Feb. 28, becoming the first Pope to do so since Gregory XII in 1415.  Benedict's successor will be elected by a conclave of cardinals, which interestingly enough is exactly how I got this job.  

• Here's a question.....if the proper term is "African-American", why is February "Black" History month?

Give Mommy a little smoochie!

• Kimberly Margeson raised a few eyebrows at a New York prison by laying an open-mouth kiss on her incarcerated son's mouth during a recent visit.  Was she just a little more lusty than current societal norms permit?  Not exactly.  She was actually passing sonny boy a few oxycodone pills via the lip-lock.  It's weird....she doesn't look anything like Alicia Silverstone!

• It's official....I'm an old geezer.  I listened to the radio news guy list the big winners at last night's Grammy Awards, and I didn't recognize a single act.  

• Nancy Pelosi made another remarkably incoherent appearance on Fox News Sunday this weekend.  A couple of the highlights...

• She blamed the current sluggish economy on the previous administration.  I'm pretty sure she meant the one before that.
• When host Chris Wallace asked Pelosi about gun control, the sage of San Francisco said this...  "We avow the First Amendment, we stand with that and say that people have the right to have a gun and defend themselves".  I feel much better knowing that great Constitutional scholars like Pelosi are entrusted with protecting my rights.  

• In direct contrast with the idiot Pelosi is SecDef Leon Panetta.  Although he is on the opposite side of the political aisle from me, I've always found Panetta to be an earnest and thoughtful man.  His recent testimony in front of the Senate about the attack in Benghazi was remarkable.  Here is a clip of him answering Sen. Ayotte's (R-NH) questions about Dear Leader's involvement that night.  Take a look....

You can hear in his voice and see in his face the pain and disgust that Obama's dereliction of duty gives him.  Obama showed absolutely no interest in the fact that our consulate was under attack, and our Ambassador and 3 other brave Americans had been murdered.  Five years ago, I would have said that it wasn't possible for the President of the United States to be so callous and disconnected.  Today, in SecondTermica, it barely makes a ripple.  We take a lot of jabs at Dear Leader here at SACSTW, but that 2 minutes of video is all you need to know what a loathsome, traitorous human being currently inhabits our White House.

Babe, Put Down The M-16 And Make Me A Sammich!

In March of last year, Sahib and I announced the formation of our new political movement....White Heterosexual American Males Only, better known as WHAMO.  You can read the founding document of WHAMO here.  You may be wondering why you haven't heard much about WHAMO since then, and I am here today to tell you why.

Given that an organization such as WHAMO engenders incoherence, rage, and hissy fits in many liberals, Sahib and I decided that WHAMO's first order of business was the development of an elite security and counter-insurgency force.  For the last ten months, we have been in the planning and development phases of this project.  Now that SecDef Panetta has approved women in combat, the time has come to announce to the world the special-operations arm of WHAMO security.

This ultra-elite commando unit's official title is Security-Housecleaning-Erotica-Armaments-and Libations,......but they will be better know as.......the SHEALs.

I have authorized the SACSTW offical photographer to release some early training images from the first group of SHEALs to make it through the grueling program......

As you can see, the training regimen of the SHEALs is arduous and harsh, but the troops are holding up very well to this point.  Sahib and I have direct operational control over all SHEAL units, and have tasked the group with a specific set of duties....

• Provide security at all events attended by significant numbers of WHAMO members.  Includes but not limited to.....Super Bowl parties, poker tournaments, and fishing trips..  

• Provide executive protection services for the WHAMO command structure, particularly if WHAMO personnel are to be within 5 miles of any of the following people
• Debbie Wasserman-Schulz
• Barney Frank
• Nancy Pelosi
• Emanuel Cleaver

• SHEALs will be expected to maintain their own garrison, and the quarters of WHAMO officers, in a professional and tidy condition.  Quarters are subject to inspection by WHAMO officers at any time.

• SHEALs will at all times be garbed in one of the several WHAMO approved ensembles, examples of these may be seen above.

• SHEALs will be in charge of maintaining and protecting the WHAMO Armory, and will conduct live-fire exercises as their leaders see fit.

• SHEALs will be prepared at all times to provide themselves and the WHAMO command structure with emergency rations as needed for survival.  Such rations are to consist primarily of mixed drinks and sandwiches. 

It is anticipated that additional duties appropriate for SHEAL teams will be identified in the coming months.  Although SHEAL Teams 1 and 2 are near operational readiness, Sahib and I's work is never done.  We will soon embark on a nation-wide recruiting mission, seeking out only the best of the best to wear the uniform of the SHEALs.  Look for the official SHEAL recruiting poster at a car show, Hooters, or beach volleyball tournament near you!